Things I Should've Said

I gather all my courage.

I will face Maria. I will talk to her.

I approach her slowly. She looks up, her eyes like sparkling waterfalls. She forces a smile, and I take a seat next to her.

My heart pounds.

"Maria," I whisper.

"Judd, hey," she answers as she wipes her tears with her sleeve. I hand her my hanky. She mutters a thanks.

"Do you..." I try to stop myself from crushing her into me, from telling her how much I love her. "...are you all right?"

"I'm fine."

Maria sobs...until she breaks down completely.

"I'm sorry, Judd. I-I-I can't help it."

Stop crying, Maria. It's killing me.

I am about to tell her everything will be all right--that she could open up to me, if it would make her feel better, but suddenly a hoarse voice shouts.

"Maria!" Jason Craig.

Maria quickly wipes away her tears and clenches hard at my hanky. She looks at me and tries to smile.

This is the first time Maria looked like this.

Maria...my precious Maria...

"Come on, babe. What's with your eyes?" I hear that bastard ask. He doesn't care at all.

I stand up...but I stop.

I do not fight.

I do not move.

I could only watch.

With one final glance at me, Maria walks away with Jason.

I clench my fists and grit my teeth. I can only watch.

I hate myself.

I hate myself for not being able to fight for the girl I am in love with.

I hate myself.

A warm tear trickles out of my eyes, and it surprises me and makes me laugh to myself.

"I'm sorry I'm so pathetic, Maria."