A Walk Through Hell

Two weeks after Andy's suicide attempt everything was beginning to fall apart in my life. Andy became depressed, Francis was quieter. Poof and I got way closer, while Francis and I grew apart. I was alone in my room right now. Andy was in her room and I don't know where Francis went. I haven’t cut since I moved here.

I grab my wallet and open it to retrieve my blood stained razor. I turn it over and over looking at all the stains it has and remembering the accident I had. I lift my left arm and press down hard and drag it around in a circle. Then I cut two little lines and a curved smile. I never knew smiley faces could bleed. Francis walks in and sees my arm then leaves. What is wrong with her? I check on Andy to make sure she didn't do anything dangerous, then I came back down and started to cook. I have to cook for everyone now since Andy can't and Francis is avoiding me. I hear the door bell ring, I wipe my hands on my already dirty jeans. When I open the door all I see is a pair of pale blue eyes and wavy blond hair."P-Poof?"

"'Ello." I love his accent so much.

“H-hi Poof, I didn't expect to see you today."

"Francis gave me the address, I just never had the time to get here." I see him look down at my bleeding arm. "Zalex..." Guilt washes over me.

"Come inside, I'm going to clean up." He takes a few steps inside and looks around. Francis walks in and sees him then goes to the TV and ignores us. Why so rude?

"'Ello Francis." She gives a lazy wave in his direction and turns the volume up. I can feel something warm on my hand. I look down and see its blood. "You two make nice." I run to the bathroom, unscrew the top to the antiseptic and pour it over the smiley face. It stings but I don't wince, I'm used to pain, emotional and physical.

The face puffs up and is a light red but it stopped bleeding. I walk down the hall but I'm stopped by the sound of arguing. "Francis I'm not stealing him from you!" Poof?

"I see the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you."

"We're just friends."

"Then why does he never touch me anymore, we had sex once, then you came along and he forgot about me." Did we only do it once?

"I'm sorry your sex life isn't perfect, but we're only friends."

"Do you love him?" Oh no. "He's a great friend."

"Not like that." A pause.

"Yes I do." Silence.

"Get out."

"Why?"

"He loves me not you. Get out of our lives." I take a step forward to make myself visible.

"Zalex!" Poof is on the verge of tears, I walk over to him and give him a warm hug. Francis looks pissed.

"Zalex you heard?"

"Yes I did." She looks ashamed.

"How could you say that Francis?"

"I don't want to lose you."

"You're not doing a good job of keeping me." She looks hurt by what I said.

"Well since you're so happy with Poof I can just leave."

"I never said I wanted Poof." He tightens our hug."Why are you so jealous?"

"Because I love you! I've loved you for five years and I won't lose you to a gay British guy!"

"You have no right to yell at him!" I feel my back get wet from Poof's tears. "I'm never jealous at school when I leave you at track because I know you'll be faithful to me. Why can't you trust me?" Her eyes drop to the floor.

"I just don't trust you because you're so handsome and you're bisexual so you have twice the chance of finding someone better."

"Francis if I wanted someone else I would have already gotten them but I want you!" Poof stopped crying and was now staring at Francis.

"Do you want Poof?" She knows I can't lie.

“Answer me Zalex." I don't want to."Zalex!" I take Poof's hand in mine we intertwine our fingers.

"Yes I do." She looks stunned."Francis I do love you, I really do, but like I said, you only have four months left. I can't expect to live with a dying person and live and be happy. This cancer is killing you! You get weaker and weaker everyday and I can't take it anymore." I'm the only one in the room with dry eyes.

"Is this how you felt all along?"

"Ever since you told me you loved me."

"Then why did we get together?"

"I felt bad." Anger flashes in her eyes.

"Fuck you!" She walks to the door. I chase after her towing Poof along.

"Francis wait!" She walking fast, I can't chase her holding Poof, so I drop his hand. "Francis!" She looks back and flips me the bird. Then she crosses the street without looking. I look to the right and see a truck coming right at her. "Francis!" She turns, I hear the screech of brakes and a sickening thud.