A Walk Through Hell

I open my eyes. I can't see. Blink. Bright lights. Blink. I hear beeps. Blink.

"Doctor, this patient has a self inflicted injury to the left wrist." A nurse is talking about me.

Blink.

"Another emo kid?" Obviously that’s the doctor.

"Fuck you."

"Excuse me what did you say to me young man?"

"I said fuck you. Just because I cut myself and I don't go around smiling for no goddamn reason. It doesn't mean I'm fucking emo. And I don't have to take your shit doc! So fuck off. And I can take pretty good fucking care of myself."

I attempt to get up, but a pair of hands stops me. Where the hell did you come from?

"Stay still."

You sound so calm and relaxed, like I didn't almost die yesterday. Was it yesterday?

"Listen doctor. Don't ever say emo. Emo's are attention-seeking, narcissistic, jerks. Zalex is none of that. We're only going to be here until he has enough blood to walk around with, then we'll leave your assuming ass behind." God I love you Francis.

The doctor just stands there, shocked that he got cussed out by two teenagers. "Well, he should be fine in two days."

"Which means I'll be great by tomorrow."

"He said two days, so you're staying for two days." When did you start ordering me around? The doctor walks out, muttering that he's never going to have children.

"Why are you here?" I hate it when you see me like this.

"Your grandmother called me and told me to go with you because they can't handle the stress anymore." You can't look me in the eyes.

"They can't handle the stress? Those fuckers have no fucking idea the shit I go through every goddamn day of my motherfucking life!" Your eyes drop to my wrist then you look away.

"Zalex…" I'm so sorry Francis.

"So how bad does my room look?" Your eyes glisten. "Francis-"

"Zalex I don't want you to die." Not this again.

"I'm not going to die Francis. I promise you I'm going to stay alive just as long as you." A tear falls. Bad idea to say that since you're dying just as much as I am.

"Zalex, I want you to stop." Why?

"I'll stop when life stops fucking with me." Stop crying.

"Zalex, I've known you most of my life and I want to know you for the rest of it." Don't do this."I need you more than ever." Don't say it. “Zalex, I love you." You said it.

"I'm guessing as more than a friend huh?" Shit. Why am I such a smart ass?

"Francis look, this isn't the best time to say this, but you have four months left." Why the fuck did I say that? "Don't get me wrong, I do love you the same way, but when August comes along..." So many tears from a beautiful girl.

"Fuck the time limit. Fuck August. I love you and no amount of cancer is going to change that!" I can't believe we're fighting about love while I'm in the hospital missing two pints of blood.

"I love you too." Do I?

"Then why are you trying so hard to be alone?!"

"Because when I'm alone, I get hurt less!" That stops her.

"If you want to be alone so badly, then fine!" She's walking away.

"Francis wait!" I move my legs but I'm strapped down. Fucking hospital. "Francis!" You're gone. The doctor from earlier comes back in.

"Lovers spat?" He smiles sarcastically.

"You can go suck a big one." He leaves while saying ‘little prick’ loud enough for me to hear. I shut my eyes and breathe.