I Knew A Boy

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I stared down at the dark tiled floor of the hallway as I stood in line for lunch, my back pressed against the all as I waited for the line to move. I hadn't moved in about five minutes.

It had only been the few hours of night and day since my pathetic little incident, and I was still asking myself what there was to live for.

"Amanda," I heard Sam's voice call for me, and I looked down the hall to see her bounding toward me. She had a huge grin on her face and I really wondered why. What was there to even smile about?

I noticed Sam's swim coach who was also one of the gym teachers, Mr. Smith, following her, a smile also showing on his face.

"What's up with you? Why are you so... chipper?" I asked, my voice showing almost no emotion.

"I guess you haven't heard but... Zack's coming home," Sam said excitedly, her eyes beaming with the happiness that seemed to spread into me at the sound of those very words.

"When?" I asked, standing upright as my eyes widened. My heart began pounding in my chest. After that horrible, horrible month, Zack was going to be coming home.

"Tonight. No one's allowed to go see him though. His mom's orders. Just to get him settled again and all. But," she paused, and I waited impatiently for her to continue, "he'll be back in school tomorrow."

I felt tears prick my eyes and my lips cracked into a shape I hadn't made in what felt like forever.

"Wow," Mr. Smith said with a chuckle. "You know, I think that's the first time I've seen you smile in about a month."

This comment only made me smile more as the tears slipped down my cheeks. If I hadn't felt so elated I would have felt a little embarrassed.

That's what there was to smile about. Zack Baker was coming home.

There we were, all sat in our customary lunch circle in the back hallways the next day. Everyone was there; Brian, Sam, me, even Annie. And my sister unfortunately. Everyone... except Zack. I hadn't seen him in the halls at all that day, and I was on the edge of calling Sam's news a fluke.

"Are you sure his mom said he'd be coming back to school today?" I asked. Sam looked at me and nodded. I felt a hand clasp my shoulder and I turned, seeing Brian with a gentle smile on his lips.

"Don't worry... He'll be here."

I smiled a little at his words and in turn, Brian smiled back, even bigger.

"You should smile more, really," he commented, the silly grin still gracing his lips as he reached a hand out to ruffle my hair up a bit.

After a few minutes of just silent talking, I felt Brian shift beside me. I watched as a deck of cards was placed on the floor in the middle of the circle we were sitting in. "How 'bout a game, for old time's sake?" he asked, glancing around the circle at everyone. I let a chuckle slip past my lips as the others smiled and nodded. Brian shuffled the deck and then dealt the cards, beginning our classic game of Bullshit.

"Three fours," I stated five minutes later, placing the cards down on the pile. My sister's eyes bore into mine across the circle and I watched as her mouth opened.

"Bullsh-"

"Think you got room for one more?" she was cut off by a familiar voice. I think every single one of us jerked our heads up at the same time in surprise.

And there, standing in all his glory, hands shoveled deep in his pockets, was Zack Baker. I felt my heart seem to stop beating for a moment. It started up again when I felt Brian's hand in mine tightly. I didn't know what the gesture was supposed to mean, if he was doing it for my sake or his, but I gripped back just as tightly.

Zack looked so different, yet so much the same. Like he'd never left but had been gone for so long.

Without another word being said my sister bolted up from the floor, her cards scattering on the tile, and she engulfed Zack in a tight hug. I watched as his arms wrapped around her in return and he rested his head on her shoulder, his eyes closed. Brian's hand squeezed mine in his a little more as I watched and I understood that he had done it for my sake, for a way of silent comfort between us in such a bittersweet moment.

Soon, Sam had taken the place of my sister, and then Annie gave him a brief hug. Brian let go of my hand and stood, hugging Zack as well. And soon it was all down to me.

A little shy-like grin came to Zack's face as he looked at me. "Are you gonna come over here or what?"

Instantly a smile came to my face and I leapt up, jumping at Zack, my arms wrapping around his shoulders. I felt my heart soar as his own arms wrapped around me in return. I just stood there, drinking in the moment of this close contact between the two of us. I felt Zack shift after a moment and I went to pull away, but his grip on me did not lessen. Instead, he moved his mouth down to my ear.

"I don't know what your sister might've said to you, but I don't hate you. At all," he said in the most quiet of whispers.

I smiled at his worst, feeling more of those goddamned tears that had been haunting me the past few days. And as I stood there in Zack's embrace, I really truly believed that everything was going to be okay.