Young Love Was Such Dumb Love

"Dude, I can't believe you broke your fucking arm," Garrett laughed looking at the cast on John's hand. Undoubtably falling on it after punching a cement wall was just enough to make sure his wrist bone snapped. John chuckled softly feeling the rough texture, but his mind was somewhere else completely.

He had called Benny about a hundred times to no prevail and he didn't even want to think about how many times he had texted her. He rubbed his forehead trying to concentrate on the road ahead on him, just focusing on getting home right now so he could finally see her.

"That tour was fucking sick I can't wait until we can go again," Jared said as they pulled into Pat's driveway where all their cars had been since they left. Their new van, which didn't look new anymore due to graffiti fans started writing on it and trailer stayed at the Kirch household while they weren't on tour.

"Seriously, even though this was just a short one soon we'll be going coast to coast," Kennedy laughed, bringing his feet down from the dashboard and unbuckling his seatbelt. Everyone was had a semi-high from the tour, it was impossible not to be happy, unless the girl you love had cut you out of her life.

"Hey, Jared, I'm gonna go home and check on Benny, can you guys handle unloading everything," John asked once they were out of the van and all started unpacking their home for the past month and a half. No one besides Jared knew what happened, as far as they were concerned Benny and John had broken up before his hook up.

"Uh, yeah dude, I'll cover for you," Jared nodded carrying his guitar case over to his car. John smiled and once he got his suitcase and microphone he made his way to his car before sighing, his heart racing to see Benny again after such a long time. He still had a picture of them laughing in a grass field during one of their adventures as his background on his phone. He refused to believe that it was really over for them. "Hey good luck," Jared smiled kindly before helping Pat carry in his drums.

"Thanks," John muttered not sure if Jared could even here him. He wished he didn't need luck and Benny had met him here like they had planned when he left all that time ago. He honestly hadn't expected her to come, but he still wished it. He started his car and sped home, not even going into his house he just rushed over to the house next door, knocking loudly at the door.

"Hey dude! What's up! I haven't seen you in forever!" Max answered the door excited to see his best friend after being away for a year at college. John had kept him up to speed with the whole dropping out and joining a bad thing, but the worst part about dating his best friend's sister was he couldn't even talk to him about what he had done. Max would probably hate him forever if he knew, so John wondered why he was being so nice.

"Hey!" John put on a face and smiled hugging Max tightly, it was good to see him again, but there was something missing from his eyes Max noted immediately. "I've been good, how's U of Gay?" John joked, being a Sun Devil meant hating the Wildcats, even if his best friend went there.

"Ha-ha, I'm actually transferring to ASU for the fall semester, Tucson totally blows," Max joked before he noticed the bags under John's eyes. "Are you okay dude? Benny told me y'all broke up," Max said tentatively, knowing it would probably be a sensitive subject.

"Oh yeah, uh, I've been better," John admitted, avoiding the subject of why they had broken up. He cleared his throat wishing that it wasn't so awkward between them, but the secret eating John up was the reason he felt awkward. "Is she here? I really need to talk to her," John asked shoving his hands in his pockets nervously. He rehearsed in his mind what he would say to her and all of it was rushing through his head, hoping he could get her back.

"No, dude, didn't you hear? She's in New York, she officially moved there last week," Max said semi-confused on why she hadn't told him that. The story Benny told was a very misconstrued version of what really happened, she said that touring was hard on both of them and they decided to break up since she was going to New York for school now. It broke her heart to lie to her own brother, but she didn't want to ruin their friendship too.

"Oh, yeah, uh," John mumbled trying to hide his shock. How could she have left without even saying goodbye? He wanted to hate her and delete her from his phone, but he couldn't blame her for leaving. "I have to unpack, and see my family, but we should hang out," John faked a smile before nodding over the lawn to where his own house was.

"Oh shit, yeah. Definitely, I'll text you tomorrow, we'll tear shit up," Max joked before they waved goodbye and John trekked back to his house. He grabbed the duffle bag and felt the crushing of his heart. He wanted, no he needed to see her. He needed to know they would be alright and he needed to hear her voice again just to feel okay again. He made his way into the house and called out.

"Johnny!" Mrs. O'Callaghan bustled out from the kitchen hugging her son tightly, tears brimming her eyes. "I made a cake! How are you, oh lord, you look so skinny! I'm gonna assume that's all dirty, so leave it in the laundry room. Oh, I'm so glad you're home," She spoke at a million miles an hour, so excited to have her eldest son back. She hugged him tightly before leading him to the kitchen.

John pretended to be happy as his family greeted him with giant smiles on his face and celebrated his return, but home just wasn't home with out her there. He excused himself to his room, his feet seemed like they were tied to bricks and his body didn't want to move. He started playing Ryan Adams off his laptop and sat on the floor, leaning against his bed and stared at the framed picture of John kissing Benny's cheek at graduation. A small smirk came on his lips and a tear to his eye.

"John?" Someone called from the door after knocking, John quickly wiped his eye just as the door opened. He saw it was Ross and he had an envelope in his hand, John raised an eyebrow. "Bennett dropped this off for you while you were on tour, said to give it to you when you got back," he shrugged, extending his arm to give John the envelope.

"Thanks, bro," John smiled, his heart started racing again feeling the rough paper on his hands. His name scribbled on the front of it in dark ink, he immediately recognized it as hers. He knew she wouldn't just leave without giving him something, as a goodbye, or maybe an explanation that maybe she just changed her number and still loved him. He waited until Ross left, closing the door behind him before opening it and the necklace fell out.

John's smile dropped as it his his leg, he picked it up with shaking hands realizing the ring he had given to her was still on it. He didn't want to read the letter, but curiosity got the better of him, he gently took it from the envelope and his heart wanted to stop beating, he wanted to stop being. He unfolded the paper and saw her perfect handwriting on the blank paper.

John,

I hope you know, I love you and a piece of me will always love you- and I hate that. I gave you everything, and you threw it away. I won't be home when you get back, I won't see you again. I'll miss you and I'll miss us. Don't call, don't contact me, it's over and I guess that's just the way things are now.

Bennett

John felt his heart shatter into tiny pieces in his chest and his eyes scanned the letter over and over again. The words were so cold and blunt, he wondered what happened to the girl who dragged him out of school after his stomach growled loudly to feed him. The girl who cared for him when he drank too much, making sure he was really okay. The girl who told him she loved him and kissed him so intimately before they made love. He searched for her somewhere in that letter, but to no avail.

He was amazed she could give up on what they had so easily. The first mistake he made, which he truly regretted, she ran. He thought they were invincible to both of their stubbornness that had led to mistakes, but after all those mistakes they realized they loved each other enough to pick up the pieces. Maybe she wasn't who he thought she was, he stood up and left the letter on his dresser, taking the framed picture of them and throwing it in the trash. The cold reality finally hitting him: she left him.