Young Love Was Such Dumb Love

Bennett Fallon had moved on, at least in her mind. She was trying not to get chewed up and spit out by the city notorious for just that. She had made new friends, gotten a job bar tending, even met a guy who was as sweet as could be. She was happy as a clam, she tried to forget about John O'Callghan and Tempe, Arizona except when she called Melissa to cry occasionally and when she needed to talk to her best friend. Melissa and Tim were still dating despite the long distances from touring and they avoided the topic of John. Bennett kept John's infidelity a secret bitterly, she wanted to tell everyone and have everyone know what he did. Instead, he got to be the heartbroken one to all their friends.

Even her brother had called her confronting him about his best friend being in shambles because of her, but she held her tongue and called Melissa in tears. Melissa offered to go over and punch Max in the face and tell him everything, but no matter how hard it was Benny wanted to give John something. She wanted to protect him from what the truth would do to him and no matter how much he had hurt her, she still protected and cared about him.

She was working mixing a martini before awkwardly listening to a woman yelling bitterly on her phone. Benny tried to mind her own business, but couldn't help but overhear. "Well fuck you and your little whore too!" The lady berated into the phone before hanging up loudly, she noticed Benny's eyes and laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, divorce, you know how it goes," The stranger tried to play it off as if it was average.

Benny was used to people spilling all of their guts to her. Asking for advice in the little messes in their lives that had lead them to drink. Benny didn't feel like she should even be giving advice since she had only been in one major relationship and it didn't end with a happily ever after, but they took whatever advice she would give. Sometimes, all they needed was a stranger to unload on and Benny didn't mind being that stranger.

"It was just kind of weird phone call from my husband. I mean I knew he was sneaking around behind my back, I just didn't know who he was with. So when I get this phone call, it was like divorce! Surprise!" The stranger started ranting before downing the rest of her drink and sighing "But I don't give two shits because, that means alimony!" She tried to cheer herself up.

"Well, at least there's some good that's coming of it, even if it's just monetary," Benny smiled awkwardly before motioning towards her empty drink. "Would you like another dirty vodka martini?" She asked trying to change the subject off the stranger's mind, and she simply nodded and Benny got to work.

"You probably think I'm a cold bitch who married young, but you'd be wrong! Not about the cold bitch part, but the tragedy is I didn't marry young," The stranger laughed bitterly, before taking her freshly made drink and taking a sip. Benny felt a pang in her heart, usually people complained about marrying young or wishing they had dated other people. It just reaffirmed her decision about leaving.

"Well, I mean, young marriages rarely end well and young love is usually just dumb, superficial love," Benny tried to justify her own young love, the regret springing up in her blood. The talk she had with random strangers about their young mistakes made her feel better. She wasn't that much older, but she liked to pretend that she had gained wisdom with time, but sometimes she caught herself in her apartment wondering what the hell she was doing with herself.

"Au contraire, my dear, young love is the purest love and the best love. The only thing dumb about it is it happens when you're young. While you're becoming who you are and making the biggest mistakes and going places, then love comes along and you dismiss it. After all it has to come around again, but what you don't realize when you're young is that true, blissful love only comes around once in a blue moon these days. When you're young, it's easy to give it up and believe it'll come around again," The stranger said with a sadness deep in her eyes, like she was revealing the biggest, oldest chip in her shoulder.

"Have you ever been in love?" The stranger asked, looking up to see Benny in total awe of everything she had just said, all she could manage was a nod. "Oh you have and let me guess, he hurt you so you left him because that's not what love is?" She asked as if she was reading Benny like a book.

"Are you psychic or something?" Benny started laughing, trying to play off the fact that this random stranger had seen through her shield and managed to make her feel just like she did on prom night. Benny raised an eyebrow, trying to conceal the fact she was a second away from tears.

"No, I'm a psychiatrist, I read people for a living, but it's pretty much the same thing these days. Just because he hurt you doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means he made a mistake," The stranger said, knowingly and it hit Benny hard. She hadn't even thought about the fact John might've had a moment, she was just hurt and thought he meant to hurt her. "Shit happens," the stranger spoke raising her glass and taking another sip.

"Yeah, I suppose," Benny nodded, in a zombie-like state until her phone started ringing in the back pocket of her skinny jeans. She pulled out the phone and answered it without even looking, "Hey Matt? Yeah, I'll be over later. I'm getting off work in ten minutes. Okay, bye, mhmm." She said trying to avoid saying the l-word to the boy she'd been seeing for the past couple of months.

"Rebound slash replacement boy? I had one of those. I married one of those, clearly didn't work out," She laughed bitterly before digging through her purse. "Listen, if you ever need to talk here's my card. Free of charge, don't worry," She laughed and Bennett took the card actually wanting to take her up on the offer.

"Thank you, it was nice talking to you," Bennett smiled as she took off her apron and made her way out of the bar, grabbing her purse and keys before walking the short two block commute to Matt's apartment. She stayed there when she didn't feel like taking the subway all the way back to her apartment, which was becoming more and more frequent.

"Hey Ben, how was work?" Matt called out from the kitchen after hearing her come in. They had gotten really serious really fast, she already had a key to his apartment and he was using the word love already. It terrified her.

"Uh good, I made mad tips," She laughed before kissing him softly. Bennett wasn't open with Matt, he was sweet and there for her, even when she was wreck about her brother. She couldn't talk to anyone about John, who didn't already know, she could pretend this was a fresh start. Then there was the fact she wasn't ready to open up to another guy.

"Honey, is something wrong?" Matt asked, after noticing she was staring at the ground after their kiss. She felt his arms wrapped around her tightly, she forced herself to look up at the bright green eyes she had come to love. They were warm, like home and in a way she knew he could never hurt her. A guilt boiled in her blood, she knew it wasn't love he was just safe.

"No, I'm just tired from work," Benny changed the subject off her emotions and what not to the first thing that popped into her mind. "Are you excited to go to Arizona for Thanksgiving Break? It's bound to be oh so exciting," She said her voice laced with sarcasm, he laughed planting kissed on her forehead, keeping his arms around him. She couldn't relax with his hands on her, she never relaxed these days.

"Oh yes, I can't wait to see the desert and meet your family and see everything that made you, you," He said bringing his lips to her ear in an intimate whisper. She frowned, realizing the boy who contributed the most to who she was right next door, was something she had been hiding from him for the past six months. He kissed her lips and with that reminder, she couldn't help, but compare Matt's lips to John's and she felt disgusted.

"Babe, I'm really tired so I'm gonna go to bed. My suitcase is already here, right?" Benny asked ripping herself out of his arms and making her way to his bedroom. She had a drawer that had a couple of clothes in it. She sighed, before feeling a pang of guilt turning around to kiss him on the lips. "Good night."

"Okay, well rest up, babe, we have a big day tomorrow," Matt smiled kissing her once more before she trekked off to the bedroom and changed quickly, sitting at the edge of the bed staring into the darkness. She hadn't been home since she had left the day after she graduated and she didn't even know how to where to start with the things plaguing her mind, but the main thing was the boy next door.