The Summer I Learned How to Catch Fireflies

_I didn't go straight home from Teagan's. Instead I walked around the neighborhood until I found the small outlet. I walked to the hair salon, knowing exactly what I was going to get.

_Half an hour later I stepped into the setting sun, looking at myself in the reflection of the shop windows. My hair was slightly shorter, straight and layered. Blood red dyed the bottom. It was perfect. I had darkened my eyeliner. My eyes burned under the bangs falling into my right eye. It was perfect.

_My phone buzzed in my pocket. I found a text. *Studio. Now.* I sighed. Of course. It was my agent that no one knew that I had. The walk across town wasn't bad. I got there in about 30 minutes, the sun was just fading away in the golden and blue light.

_As soon as I walked in i was ushered though doors and hallways and papers were shoved in my hands. Finally I stood in the recording room with my agent standing there with some other dude I've never seen before. He was short and chubby, and bald. I had the sudden urge to rub his head murmuring, "Yes, I see very clearly..."

_"What's you're experience?" Bald future seeing guy asked.

_"Third chair All Region, Outstanding Soloist..." I trailed off not remembering the rest.

_"All right. Begin."

_I looked down at the sheet music in front of me as the band began to play behind me. All that existed was right here. Right now. I knew what I wanted.

_ When I was done, I was exhausted. Singing is NOT easy. I sighed and looked at the time. 9:25. I was NOT going to walk home. Ryan would- no. I growled. Purple... was probably getting knocked up. I know I shouldn't think that but hey, I was pissed. Teagan...

_I made the call and waited until the familiar black mustang pulled up to the curb. I opened the door and climbed in.

_"Whoa, Rayve... I like it and all but.. why?" Teagan asked, gesturing to my appearance.

_"Something needed to change." I whispered.

_His grey eyes flared with anger. "You don't need to change for anyone." He said through gritted teeth.

_I looked at him, my eyes challenging. "Well I'm not anyone, am I." I watched as Teagan hung his head. His dark hair falling over his face.

_"You are..." He whispered. "You are..."

_"Not" I scoffed. "Can we just go, I'm tired and I wanna watch Agent Gibs slap Tony upside the head."

_He nodded stiffly and we headed home. He parked outside his house and asked to walk me home. I glanced towards the driveway in the back. My dad was home.

_"No thanks. You've done enough." I climbed out and treaded across my yard to my front door. I heaved a long sigh and walked inside.

_The house was dark. Everything was quiet. But I knew. He was here somewhere. I tiptoed as quietly as I could up to my room but only made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Rayve." A rough voice breathed down my neck. It had a putrid breath, alcohol, tobacco and so much acid.

_"Hi daddy." I said as sweetly as I could. "You should go to sleep. You must be so tired."

_"I will be, when I'm done with you..." Pain shot up through my arm as he gripped me above the elbow.

_"Let go of me!" I yelled. I turned to face him. He wasn't build and muscled but he was strong.

_"Now now Princess..." I felt his hand high-five my face. Stinging a red mark. His grip tightened on my arm. I felt him turn in the dark and pick something up on the chest next to us. It glinted in the moonlight.

_An empty beer bottle.

_Tears started streaming down my face. "Daddy... please Daddy no...."

_He raised his arm and I closed my eyes. I screamed in agony as the bottle shattered on my cheek. Hot liquid started seeping though the cuts. With the broken end of the bottle he stabbed it into the arm he wasn't holding. I tried not the give him the satisfaction of letting him hear me scream again.

_He dropped me in a heap on the floor and went to the sofa. Under his breath I heard him slur. "Bitch, just like her mother."

_I crawled up the stairs slowly and started a hot shower. After pulling out shards of glass I inspected the wounds. Nothing that long sleeves couldn't cover up. An hour later I jumped out of the shower feeling much better. "Stay strong. No one has to know." I thought to myself over and over again. I pulled on a tank top and sweats and curled up in my bed, switching on the flatscreen on my wall.

*

_I got the call about a quarter to midnight. "Hello?" I asking into the phone, clearly annoyed that whoever was calling had interrupted my marathon of NCIS.

_"Ray-Rayve?" A broken voice whimpered.

_I bolted up in my bed, the red satin covers slipped away and I shivered as the frigid air hit my chest. "Purple? Darling, what's wrong?" I asked into the phone. I jumped out of bed and started pulling on black skinny jeans and a stripped black and red short-sleeve turtle neck and black and red converse.

_I heard her take a shaky breath. When she spoke again her voice sounded slightly stronger. "Some ass-whole was hitting his girlfriend so I put him in his place."

_I exhaled, somewhat relieved. "Does he need surgery?" I smirked, reaching for my keys on my desk across my purple room.

_Purple laughed, "No, but I, uh, I need you to pick me up..." Her voice trailed off, making her sound embarrassed.

_"Tell me where." I sighed.

_"Police station next to the high school on main."

_"Got it." With that I pulled my new IPhone 4 away and disconnected the call. I walked out of my room and turned to my older brother, Michael's room. "Hey, I'm gonna go pick up a friend,I won't be long." I shut the door quietly and went out front where my baby was waiting. She was a beautiful blood red 2011 Dodge Challenger with black racing stripes. I slipped in the drivers side and started the engine, listening to it purr as I pulled away from the curb not daring to glance at Teagan's house or the now empty driveway.

_I didn't hurry, she had gotten herself into this mess, and I was getting her out. She could wait for 10 minutes. So I drove through McDonalds and ordered a vanilla milkshake.

_Okay, so it was 20 minutes by the time I got to station. I walked inside and spotted Purple with her head in her hands and her hair frizzed out. I walked up to her, "That's a nice look for you Einstein." I smirked.

_She looked up, her face betraying her of the strength she usually owned. "Shut up Rayve."

_"You're the one sitting here, not me."

_"Are you the one that will be taking Miss Purple home?" A gruff voice asked from behind me.

_I spun around and held a hand out to the police officer. "Rayve Dust."

_"Garry Nivens. Given the circumstances, she will not be charged. You two are free to go with a warning to you Miss Purple."

_"Thanks." She grumbled, avoiding eye contact with everyone and stomped outside without waiting. I thanked the man and followed after her. Purple was already slumped in the passenger seat.

_I got in and backed out. "Want anything to eat?" I asked. Street lights passed. I took the earth quake in her stomach as a yes.

_"Thank you." She whispered as we pulled up to Chik-fil-A.

_I took the food from the lady. "That's what I'm here for. To clean up after you. By the way, I called your mom, she knows you're sleeping over."

_She shot a stare at me, "Even after everything that happened? God, Rayve I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to hurt you, I don't know what happened... Ray... I'm so sorry...." She put her head in her hands.

_I reached over and grabbed a waffle fry. "It's fine Purple, it's okay."

_"You really are the best friend a girl could ask for." I don't think I was supposed to hear that but I did.

_There was too much tension in the air. I reached and turned on the radio, stopping on Who You are by Jessie J. I incoherently started singing along. "I stare at my reflection in the mirror, why am I doing this to myself? Loosing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf..."

_"God..." Purple sighed. "If only someone could see you for who you are... Corny, yes, but you're so amazing but no one bothers to take the fucking time to see that! They go for what's easy..."

_I stopped singing abruptly. "And if only you could see that they're right not to go for me... you're what they want. Not me. They leave me for you."

_"I know... and I'm sorry...."

_I stepped out of the car and started up the walk to my house. The lights were off except for my brothers. Good. I went on up and changed back into my pajamas. A few minutes later Purple walked into my room looking as gloomy as ever. I scooted over and patted the space next to me on the bed. She sat down and munched on her food.

_"I'm Sorry... For everything..." She said looked at me.

_ "It's fine, really." I said laying a hand on her knee. I looked up at her and say her glaring at my arm. My arm that had several red scratches and more than a few scabs forming.

_"Rayve!" She gasped. "You promised me you would never do it again!" She looked in horror at the marks.

_I looked down and dragged my hand away, pulling it under the blankets. I didn't know whether or not to tell her the truth.

_I'd let her believe what she wanted... Whether it was another suicide attempt or my loving father.

_Hell, for all I cared, she could spread word that I was mauled by dancing penguins. Or talking marshmallows.

_No one could know the truth... I don't know why, but I felt the need to keep this to myself. I couldn't tell her. She couldn't help me...

_I pretended to fall asleep, I pretended not to hear her crying she was trying desperately to silence, I pretended I couldn't hear my heart breaking from the cheating, from the beating. I pretended to think it would get better but that thought ended when I realized: It won't get better. Like it or not. This is your life now. Like it or not, you're still the scared little girl trapped behind your scars. Believe it or not, Ryan cheated on you with the girl who's right next to you. You're "Father" left on your birthday three years ago with everything except a goodbye. Now he's back.

_Believe it or not, I'm a 16 year old girl. Who's not strong, or beautiful like purple. Who's not smart and charismatic. I can't fight like a boy and dance like a girl. I can't speak Juliet's lines on a stage. I don't feel love. I hardly know the meaning of it. Love was the farthest thing from Teagan. And Love has nothing to do with Ryan. I'm just the girl in the corner.

The Girl in the Corner.

She's always there
They all just stare
The girl in the corner
Everyone mourns her
She walks through life trying to be pretty
But they all say, "shes just too ugly"
The poor girl in the corner wants to know what it's like to feel love
To be as graceful and beautiful as a dove
They all shun down on her.
The girl in the corner,
She realized that life isn't fair,
That it won't change colors with her hair.
She hates everything about herself.
She feels like the only unbought doll left on the shelf.
All because she's not beautiful,
Everyone feels so pitiful.
The girl in the corner,
She waits for the final stir
The girl in the corner
She gives up on being her.
She decides to make her self pretty,
To make sure others see.
She found what she wants to do,
She's doing this for everyone, you too.
Blood is everywhere
In big pools here and there.
She looks in the mirror
Hoping the image will be clearer.
The girl in the corner left her world behind that night
She knew it would be such a beautiful sight.
In blood she wrote:
"Am I pretty enough now? Will you love me?" in quote.
The Girl in the Corner
Is now everyone else's mourner.
They all pitty themselves;
She displays herself on the shelf.
Her bloody body torn apart...
Just like what every else did to her heart.
She ended her pain and sorrow;
With a cost: not being able to see tomorrow.
The girl in the corner will now be very beautiful,
In a different world where life is actually meaningful.
The Girl in the Corner

she rises as the final mourner