Listen to My Heart

I sat next to Joyce Lucia, Tony's mom, along with his two sisters, Ali and Jessica, silent as they all talked amongst themselves while I watched Tony skate on the ice below, wondering how he was going to play tonight. It was the first game of the year that I had been to, and the Gophers were playing against the University of Michigan in the Icebreaker Tournament. The tournament was being held at the Xcel Energy Center, home to the Minnesota Wild, in order to support all of the fans from the four teams competing in the tourney.

Tony looked pumped for the game, that much was for sure. Last night the Gophers had barely squeaked by RPI and when I called Tony after the game, he was pissed off. It probably had something to do with the close win and the fact that his dad had been less than thrilled with the team. They actually had to skate during their morning practice today, something that usually didn't happen unless Don Lucia was pissed. I hadn't been in attendance last night because I had to work, but I did get updates from Kara who had of course been there.

I had been surprised when I had taken my break at Starbucks, located near the campus bookstore, and saw that the Gophers were losing. Part of me was wondering what was up with Tony, Kara said he wasn’t playing well, but I thought maybe it was because he was nervous to play in front of his new girlfriend. Yep. They were official. Well, as official as they could be when they were trying to keep their relationship a secret. I had yet to meet her, but part of me just didn’t want to at all, despite Tony’s pleading for me to suck it up and meet her. It was almost like he knew what it would do to me, but that was impossible. If he knew, how could he be so persistent?
 
“Brianna?” Joyce called to me, patting my thigh lightly. I took my gaze off the ice and looked to where her and her daughters were looking at me. “Have you met Tony’s new girlfriend?” She repeated her question with a slight smile.
 
“Oh, no. I’ve just heard about her.” I shrugged my shoulders, biting the corner of my lip as she nodded.
 
“I don’t understand why he is so secretive about her. I figured you of all people would know who she was.” I shook my head that I didn’t as the cheerleaders came onto the ice to do their little routine before the boys would skate out. My eyes narrowed in on her long blonde hair, curled lightly and falling off her shoulders. She had the typical diamond earrings in, her cheerleading uniform on, and the dark lip paint on her lips. She was beautiful, there really was no denying that, but I wanted that to be me.
 
“I don’t know. I think he figures she might be intimidated by the family and everything. Plus, it’s new in their relationship and he doesn’t want to force her into such a tense situation.” I covered for Tony like I always did. Joyce paused for a moment, sighing and nodding her agreement.
 
“I guess you’re right. It would be kind of intimidating to meet the Gopher hockey coach a few weeks after you began dating his son.” She chuckled softly and turned back to Jessica and Ali while I kept my gaze locked on Leah. She had a smile on her face, waving her pom-poms in the air before turning to where the boys came out of the tunnel, cheering and leading the Minnesota rouser along with the band. Tony came onto the ice and I watched his body language and his eyes, wondering if he would let his gaze slip to his new fascination. A pinch in my heart was felt as he looked at her before glancing to his right, eyes searching for me. He glanced at me and I tried to smile, but couldn’t quite force my corners up, not with the large amount of disappointment that was shoved into my chest, constricting my airway.
 
His corners tilted up and I nodded that I saw him before looking away and letting him focus on his current task. The game began in a swarm of maroon and gold jerseys, knocking me into a state of delusion in terms of the cheerleader and the hockey player who were taking up a majority of my thinking time. All I could focus on was the game and how each moment I felt like I was going to tip over with how I was leaning and moving with Tony. It was a habit that started in high school and continued through the few junior hockey games I attended, along with the college ones I saw last winter break.

He had amazing skills, but also had a knack for getting himself into trouble with his opponents. He always looked for the big hit, and when he executed, things got ugly. Too many times I had watched him throw another guy onto the ground and a few seconds or shifts later, there would be a retaliation hit. As his best friend, it was hard for me to watch, but as a hockey fan, I loved to watch him get back up and shove the same guy over again.
 
The first and second periods flew by, the game tied at 2 before I could sit back and take in a breath. Tony had gotten a penalty half way through the period, making me shake my head, but it wasn’t the penalty that irritated me. It was the deep gash across his forehead, most likely from a stick, which got my blood boiling. The crowd had gasped when the jumbotron showed the blood cascading down from it and I scrunched my nose up as his mom shook her head.
 
“Tony.” She mumbled under her breath, knowing as well as I did that he probably had that coming. Along with big hits, Tony was known for running his mouth.
 
When the team came back onto the ice for the third, I noticed the bandage that was sealing up the cut and most likely the stitches he had to get. I shook my head, settling in for the final period, and shoving my worry to the back burner. The Gopher hockey team ended up getting their second win of the season, beating the Wolverines by a score of 4-3. It was a nerve racking last minute, several shots attempting and almost making their way into the net. But Jeff Frazee held strong, shutting down a final shot as the horn blew and the fans cheered.

Just like usual, I waited in the stands with the rest of the Lucia family, sitting patiently for the minutes to tick by until it was close to the usual time Don and Tony emerged from the locker room. When that time came, we all went downstairs, heading into the family lounge. I collapsed onto the plush, leather couch, pulling my Lucia jersey off and folding it in my lap. I was left in the Gopher hockey sweatshirt that was distributed to the players' families and select people. Tony had insisted that I have one so that his three favorite ladies each had one. I silently wondered if I was still one of his top ladies now that a new girl was in the picture.

A hand reaching for me took my attention off the TV in the room and to Tony who was standing over me, looking amused. My heart hitched as he glanced at me with his green eyes wide, hair wet, and body dressed in a grey suit. He looked so sexy, so much like a man, that it made my head spin. His hands grabbed mine and he pulled me up into his arms.

"Hey stud." I squeezed him tightly in a congratulatory hug.

"Hi." He smiled, his cheeks slightly flushed. I squinted my eyes at him, and his eyes got a little glint in them that I knew from the past.

"Making out in the closet again, Lucia?" I scolded him quietly, knowing the answer before I even asked.

"I'll never tell." He winked at me, a laugh sounding as I rolled my eyes.

"As if I can't figure it out. Tony, you need to be careful. Stop forgetting that you aren't supposed to be dating her." I smacked his shoulder while he shrugged his shoulders and waved me off.

"I don't need you to constantly remind me. I know what the consequences are, and I don't care." A pain stabbed at my stomach, making my gut twist uncomfortably. If he was willing to face the consequences, she must be pretty special. And for the tenth time that night, I wondered what she had that I didn't. I didn't say anything, just nodded as his mom came over to us.

"We were going to go get some dinner. Do you two want to come?" She asked us. I was about to reply but Tony responded first.

"No, we're going to go to dinner ourselves." Tony told her, news to me. I threw him a questioning look, but went along with it, nodding my head to his mom.

"Okay. Well, hopefully I'll see you tomorrow." Joyce murmured to me, hugging me tightly before turning away. She was talking about the fact that Tony and I lived on the same street, and went home every Sunday to eat dinner with our families.

"You drove right?" Tony asked, leading me to the door of the lounge and towards the elevators.

"Yeah. Don't you have to go home on the bus?" I wondered. He shook his head as we hit the cool air of the fall night.

"Don said it was fine if we wanted to get our own rides."

"So now I'm your personal driver?"

"Yep. It's to pay me back for carting your ass around for a year." He insisted.

"Hey! I can't help that I'm a year younger than you and had to wait a whole year after you to get my license."

"Not my problem, kid." Tony used the name I always hated. He though because I was younger than him, he could call and treat me like a child.

"Watch it or you are walking back to campus." I warned him, unlocking my Audi A4, a gift from my parents for my 19th birthday along with a homecoming gift.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked once we were on the freeway.

"I was going to study for Calc, but other than that nothing." I shrugged, changing lanes to pass a car.

"Is Calc urgent?"

"No."

"Then come to the hockey house tonight." He insisted, texting on his phone. I groaned inwardly, knowing Tony was extremely good at talking me into doing things I didn't want to do.

"I'm not up for a party, Ton." I tried.

"It's not a party. It's a get together with the team and their girlfriends." Tony explained.

"I don't fit into either of those categories." I told him, pursing my lips reluctantly.

"So? You're important to me and since I live in that house, and I'm inviting you, it's fine. Plus, I want you to meet Leah." He turned towards me in the car and I thanked God I was driving so I didn't have to look into his eyes. "Come on, Bri. Just come, you will have fun." I pursed my lips as I felt the two sides of my being tugging at one another.

"Can I ever say no to you?" I asked with a slight snap in my voice, shaking my head as Tony was silent next to me.

"Nope." He finally concluded as I merged off the freeway and started to wind my way to the hockey house, past the athletic stadiums and through Dinkytown. I pulled up to the curb, sighing as I watched a few of his teammates walk in. I shut the car off and hoisted my purse onto my shoulder, opening the door. "Okay, two rules for tonight." Tony grabbed my wrist, stopping us in the middle of the road. "First, smile for me."

"That isn't a rule, that's a demand." I pointed out.

"Whatever it is, do it." His green eyes gave me a fierce look and I sighed, forcing my lips upward into a fake smile before dropping them again. "Not that great, but it will do." Tony rolled his eyes at me, "Second, be nice to Leah. She's a great girl and I don't want you to give her the third degree right away."

"What about all the guys I dated? Why didn't they get a first meeting pass?" I asked him, my eyes narrowing. "Is she that nervous/unacceptable that I need to be easy on her?" I watched his eyes narrow slightly, seeing the irritation growing in his rigid posture.

"That's different."

"No it isn't."

"Brianna, just please. I really like her and quite honestly you never seemed that interested in all those other guys." Tony pointed out. I didn't have anything to say to that because he was right. "Now let's go in there." He reached his hand out for me and I shook my head at it.

"I don't think your new girlfriend would want you to hold hands with me." I told him, walking up the walkway and steps of the porch in front of him.

"Right." Tony nodded, holding the door for me as I walked in.

Mike Hoeffel was the closest to the door and turned to look at Tony and I, his eyes locking on me while a big smile stretched his lips. I gave him a polite grin, shaking my head at the freshman who had become fascinated with me in the past month. I wouldn't lie that I did have a tad bit of an attraction to the blonde with the thick hair, smoldering eyes, and sexy smirk. But it wasn't the same feeling that Tony gave me; nobody could make me feel that way.

"Brianna." Mike greeted, wrapping me into a hug as I rolled my eyes slightly, giving him a friendly squeeze. Tony stayed right next to the two of us, watching with slightly narrowed eyes as Mike kept an arm draped over my shoulder

"Michael, it's been too long." I smiled up at him, batting my lashes just to make Tony's mood even worse. He hated when I hit on his teammates, it got his blood boiling to the point where his cheeks would flush a deep red, almost to the point where they were now.

"My heart has been heavy in your absence. We need to do lunch soon, or maybe dinner." He winked at me and I chuckled, pulling away and stepping closer to Tony,

"Now, now, Mikey. You know I don't date freshman."

"You won't even make an exception for this." He winked, eyes shining jokingly and with a slight twinkle of hope.

"Hmm, nope." I gave him a polite smile and turned my attention to Tony who had a sour look on his face.

"Ready?" He asked me through gritted teeth.

"Yep." I smiled like I had no idea why he was so ticked. We walked a few feet from the living room and into the dining room where a handful of people sat. I spotted Leah right away, not able to miss her with her long, blonde curls, stunning blue eyes and the way she had them locked on Tony, and his locked on her also.

"Do you have to hit on my teammates?" Tony asked me as he steered me towards her. I had to hold myself back from digging my heels into the ground in order to stop the upcoming meeting.

"Tony, you should be worried when I stop hitting on your teammates. That means I'm sleeping with them." I let out a chuckle but Tony didn't see the humor in it, his fingers digging harshly into the small of my back.

"Don't even think about it. I don't want to castrate any of my teammates." Tony hissed lowly into my ear before standing up straight and smiling at Leah. A large amount of dread and pain washed over my body as he pulled away from me to wrap her into a hug. I took the moment to glance around the room, noticing that Kara and Joey were both gone, probably out to dinner with the Miller family. I sighed, realizing I was completely on my own in this situation.

"Leah, babe, this is my best friend, Brianna. To say she's been there through everything would be an understatement." Tony started, turning towards me, and arm wrapped securely around the blonde, her arm wrapped around his waist as she smiled at me, genuinely nice. I sighed inwardly, afraid that this was exactly how it would go. I would end up liking her and not be able to keep that from Tony. My approval did mean the world to him, but I wished I could act like I hated her for the sake of my heart.

"It is so nice to meet you." She extended her hand for me to shake. I took it in mine, giving her a polite smile as Tony watched me with studying eyes. I flicked my gaze to his and saw the large amount of relief that he saw when he noticed I wasn't repulsed by her.

"Tony's told me lots about his new girlfriend. Needless to say, his family is very curious about you." I told her pulling my gaze away from Tony and onto Leah's blue eyes.

"Yeah, it's too bad I probably won't be able to meet them." She bit her lip, glancing at Tony who shrugged his shoulders, eyes falling to her lips and I prayed that he didn't kiss her.

"They are nosey as hell. You're better off not meeting them." He chuckled looking up at me as I forced a slight smile, my mouth barely even turning up.

"You better hope that doesn't get back to your mama." I warned to Tony who gave me a slight laugh.

"You won't tell." He winked at me before looking back at Leah.

She looked up at him too and I felt myself wanting to look away because I knew what was coming. But it was like a horrific crash, you wanted to look away, you didn't want to see the horror, yet your eyes never moved away from the scene. Their lips started to gravitate towards each other while my stomach twisted into a tight knot, taking the breath from my chest. Their lips were mere centimeters apart when a stress ball came launching straight across the room, smacking Tony against the right side of his head. All attention shifted to Joey Miller who stood there, a smirk on his face.

"Lucia, didn't your mommy teach you not to kiss on the first date." Joey's eyes flicked to me as he walked across the room. "Prove you aren't a fucking chick and come play me in beer pong." He challenged, both of us knowing Tony wouldn't be able to say no as his eyes narrowed.

"Miller, you are so lucky that didn't hit her." Tony hissed, "and you're on you fucking pussy." Tony walked right by me, moving me softly to the side so he could walk by without bulldozing me over.

Tony and Joey headed towards the stairs, Kara walking over to me and giving my hand a tight squeeze in understanding. Joey turned as Tony began walking down the stairs, our eyes locking, and I smiled my thanks, knowing he hit Tony for me and the pathetic organ that was my heart.