Listen to My Heart

I lazily ran my hands under the hot water of the bath I was drawing for myself. I sat on the edge of the tub, sighing quietly as I felt the perfect temperature beginning to fill the white, porcelain tub. I grabbed my lavender bubble bath and poured a decent amount in, feeling the need for a large amount of bubbles. There was a knock on the door before Kara asked if she could come in, hearing the water running.

"Yeah." I told her, standing up and removing my earrings along with my necklace.

"Hey, Joey and I are going out to dinner. I was going to ask if you wanted to come." She raised an eyebrow, looking down at the bathtub.

"No. I just really want to relax." I told her.

"Alright. Do you want me to bring something back for you? I think we're going to Annie's." She suggested, getting ready to dip out as she heard the front door open.

"No, thanks. I'm not in the mood for something that heavy." I smiled at her as she shut the door after saying goodbye.

I turned back to the tub and began to strip out of my clothes. A bath sounded so perfect when I had come home from work today. I had been going since five o'clock this morning when I took the morning shift at Starbucks for one of my co-workers. I had a two hour break to go to class and grab a quick bite to eat before I had to be back at Starbucks for my own shift, working from 1 to 6. I smelled like coffee and I felt so rundown that I needed to let my muscles relax in a warm tub.

I was so stressed out from the last couple weeks with Tony and Leah, the fights, along with these new feelings I was beginning to develop for Mike. My mind was constantly in motion. I thought about the whole situation at class, at work, in bed, and I was even starting to dream about them. It was stressful and I was just ready to be done with everything. But it didn't look like that was happening since Mike and I were going out on Saturday night.

He had called to invite me to the game along with dinner after, but I told him I had to work through the game, but would love to have dinner. The truth was, I wanted to see what could develop between Mike and I. I was sick of living on the sidelines of my own life and letting what Tony did and didn't do dictate what I did. It wasn't right and I was trying to break through, but I knew it would take more than just realizing there was a problem.

I rubbed my tired eyes as I slid down into the bathroom, moaning softly as the warm water wrapped around my body along with the white, plushy bubbles. I piled my hair on top of my head and rested it against the towel I had folded against the edge of the tub. I just laid there as the minutes passed, letting the same images of Tony, Leah, and Mike pass before my closed eyelids. I didn't want to see them, but for some reason, it was easier to see them when I was wrapped in the warm embrace of the water. A soft knock startled my eyes open before the door opened, Tony coming in through the doorway without even waiting for me to answer him.

"Why don't you answer the- OH! WHOA! SORRY!" Tony exclaimed, not even bothering to leave the room or cover his eyes as he looked at me sitting in the tub. I did a quick body check, relieved to see that the thick bubbles were covering all the necessary parts.

"Tony! Have you ever heard of waiting to hear if you can come in!?" I screeched at him, annoyed that he had the nerve to just barge in on my bath time. I was stressed, tired, and irritated, and to make everything worse, he was staring at me like he wished the bubbles were there. Suddenly, the water was a little too hot for me to handle.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were just doing your makeup or some girly thing like that." He shrugged, sitting down on the closed toilet seat. If his eyes weren't still trained on the bubbles, I would have thought he was oblivious of me being in the tub.

"Do you mind?" I asked him, arching a brow at him.

"Not if you don't." He told me, green eyes meeting mine. I rolled my eyes at him as sunk lower into the water, glaring at him over the bubbles.

"What do you want." I stated rather than asked, an unamused tone to my voice. I hadn't seen Tony since I walked out of the hockey house this past weekend. It amazed me how we could go four days without talking, and he could walk in and act like none of it happened. We never used to be like this.

"Nothing, I just, you know, wanted to stop by. I haven't... heard from you in awhile." He mumbled, running a hand through his hair as he set his elbows on his knees, arms hanging down towards his feet before he laced his hands together, leaning forward as he did so.

"I've been busy." I shrugged, poking at a few of the bubbles and avoiding his gaze. It was almost comical how he was blaming me for our lack of contact when he never bothered to call me either. It made my heart twist and cramp to think of why he wasn't able to pick up the phone. In the end, I wrote it off as him being busy with hockey.

"With...?" He trailed off. He kind of leaned back and he almost looked like he was holding his breath, waiting nervously for my answer. I blinked at him, wondering what was up with his weird behavior.

"School and work. I've worked every day this week, and today I had a double shift." I informed him, watching as he sighed in relief.

"Oh. So, you haven't been with your boyfriend." He hissed out the last part and then his lips and face twisted as if he had a bad taste in his mouth.

"He isn't my boyfriend, Tony." I rolled my eyes at him and his assumptions.

"Then what is he?" He lowered his brows, a distinct change in his demeanor.

"A friend." I told him blankly. Tony pondered that for a moment, his eyes searching my face. I just ignored him, irritating tugging at my eyes and narrowing them as I looked at the bubbles still covering my body. I frowned when I realized that they were starting to thin.

"You'd tell me if something was going on right?" He asked me, his voice softer along with his whole stature. He was less tense and the hard lines of his face had disappeared.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "Now can you leave so I can get out of the tub." I raised an eyebrow at him as he chuckled, standing up and fishing for his keys.

"I still want to talk to you. I'll wait in the living room."

"Where you should have been all along." I reminded him as he exited the room, shutting the door behind him.

I stepped from the tub, sighing and rolling my eyes as I toweled my body off. I frowned as I drained the water from the tub. I realized that I hadn't accomplished my mission of relaxing. Once again, Tony ruined everything. I went to my room, dancing across the hall and down to my room, shutting the door and locking it. I grabbed a pair of sweats, pulling them on to my warm body after smothering my skin with lotion. I kept my hair on top of my head and I made my way downstairs to find Tony stretched out on the couch, watching the Wild game. He was looking down at his phone and then sat up, standing as well.

"Shit. I have to go, but I was wondering if you would do me a favor." He looked at me almost like he already knew I was going to say yes. I barely nodded before he launched into his next thought. "My mom has been all over me about wanting to meet Leah. She even has my sisters and Mario calling me to meet her. My dad doesn't really care, but my mom won't stop bugging me. I'm caving just so that she stops harassing me. I'm so sick of her calling me at all hours of the day. But I don't think I can do it without your moral support. So please, will you come with to dinner on Saturday." He gave me a pout as I scanned his face. Inwardly, I was groaning, swearing, and sobbing my eyes out.

I didn't want to do it. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.

"Okay."
***

I stood in front of my mirror, sweeping my bangs across my forehead so they were tamed perfectly out of my eyes. I smiled at my reflection, happy with the way my new Miss Me jeans, floral print top, and black cardigan went together to create my date night outfit. It was fun to dress up for once instead of just throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt and calling it good. I felt beautiful and I didn't have a care in the world. Well, except the fact that I was nervously anticipating my date with Mike.

I spent the whole rest of the week waiting excitedly for Saturday to arrive. I couldn't remember the last time I was this excited for something, except maybe moving home from Boston for good. I had gone shopping with Kara and set my outfit out before I had gone to work today. I took a shower immediately when I walked through the door, scrubbing the smell of coffee off of my skin and out of my hair. I took my time with my makeup, and even curled my hair into lose curls before putting half of it up and away from my face.

I tugged my shirt down and fixed the sleeves of my light, black cardigan before I headed out of my room, carrying my black Coach purse as I went. I sighed when I reached the landing, looking at the clock and realizing I still had a few minutes to kill before Mike would be here. I hated waiting. Time always passed the slowest when you wanted something to happen. IT seemed like 6 years had been my whole life in terms of Tony. I shook my head, not wanting to think about him right now. Tonight was about Mike and I along with whatever we had brewing between us.

I decided to sit on the couch and flip through one of the magazines Kara had laying on the table. I turned the TV on as well, deciding to check on the weather since I had heard we were about to get a decent sized snow storm- our first of the year. I flipped through the pages, scanning the material that was mostly sex tips since it was Cosmopolitan. I stopped and read through some of the beauty tips they had in there along with a few ideas they had for dry skin in the winter time. I made a mental not to look up the brand of lotion the suggested for those with eczema.

My phone rang within my black purse, causing me to perk up and reach for it. I looked at the caller ID, sighing quietly as I noticed it was Tony. I had barely uttered a hello before he was spitting fire into my ear.

"Where are you!?" He screeched at me, panic lacing his voice as he talked in an urgent voice.

"At home." I told him, flipping to the next page and rolling my eyes at the sound of Tony's exasperated squeak. He sort of sounded like a mouse.

"Why are you there!? You're supposed to be here!" He yelped out. I could practically hear his hair being tugged out of his scalp. I could imagine him pacing in the bathroom at Mariucci.

"What?" I questioned him, pausing halfway through a flip and looking up at the TV to listen to the weather. "I told you I couldn't go to the game, I had to work."

"I don't care about the game, Brianna. I care about dinner!" He exclaimed. I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at the mirror that hung on the wall over the end table. I studied my reflection in the mirror before my eyes grew wide and I realized that today was Saturday. Not only did I have a date with Mike, but I also promised to go to dinner with the Lucia family. My heart paused for a beat as I tried to think of what to say to Tony.

"Oh shit. Ton... I... um.. I can't go." I finally choked out, scrambling my brain for a reason just as the front door open. Joey and Kara walked in, laughing at something as Kara waved to me.

"Why?" Tony hissed over the phone as I bit my lip.

"Brianna, Mike is waiting for you in the driveway." Joey called to me as he walked into the kitchen. My eyes grew wide in fear as I heard a low grumble from the phone. I pursed my lips as Kara furrowed her brows at me, plopping down on the chair across from me.

"Great. That is so fucking awesome. I'm so glad you are ditching me for him. So much for best friends huh, Brianna?" Tony snapped at me. The dial tone was all I heard when I tried to apologize for forgetting.

I set my hone back in my purse, standing up and sighing quietly. Guilt swirled around in my stomach when I realized how badly Tony wanted me to be there for him. The two parts of my being were struggling. The best friend felt the terrible guilt, but the women in me knew that sitting through that dinner was something I wasn't going to be able to pull off without faking it. Sometimes I just wished I could turn all my feelings off for Tony, even the best friend ones, so that I could just have a day where I didn't feel the turmoil of emotions due to being in love.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked as Joey walked into the room with two bottles of water and a bag from Noodles & Company. He started to unload everything while waiting for my answer.

"I was supposed to go to dinner with the Lucias tonight. Tony's mad because I forgot and am going out with Mike instead. He just wanted me for support for when they all me Leah. I feel bad." I confessed, "even though I don't think I really should."

Kara shrugged as she picked up her bowl, glancing at Joey who shrugged as well. "I think its understandable why you feel bad, but you shouldn't let that ruin your date. Remember, Hoef deserves a chance." I nodded my head as Joey stood, walking with me to the entry way.

"Brianna, you can't always be there for him. Go out and have a good time tonight. Tony will get over himself by the morning." He winked at me before walking into the kitchen and trading his water in for a beer. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled the door open just as Mike's feet hit the porch steps.

"Hey!" He grinned brightly at me, offering his hand to walk down the slightly slippery steps.

"Thank you. Hi yourself." I smiled at him as he lead me to his Audi A6, something I was sure his parents had gotten for him.. After all, his dad was a doctor. He opened my car door, letting me slid in before he shut the door and hurried around to climb into the driver's side.

"So where do you want to go to eat? Ladies choice." He told me with a smile, making me smile in response. He really was attractive, it was just too bad he wasn't a brunette.

"I won't lie. I am really craving a burger." I told him. "I was thinking Stub and Herbs. I haven't been there in awhile." I told him, speaking of a grill type place that was also a bar that a lot of college kids hung out at when they wanted to drink and eat.

"That actually sounds really great right now. I'm starving." He chuckled, flicking his blinker on to head towards Dinkytown. "How was work?" He asked once we were on the road, briefly looking at me before putting his eyes straight ahead again.

"Work." I shrugged. "Tell me about the game." I insisted, turning the radio down so I could listen to him.

He told me about the game versus Harvard, someone they usually didn't play. He said the game went well, Tony had scored a goal while Mike had earned an assist. He admitted the game was sort of boring since Harvard had little offense going until the second period, but quickly died down because they weren't able to keep up the the Gophers' tempo. i smiled, liking the positive feedback from the game since I was worried about how the Gophers had been preforming this year. We continued to talk about hockey along with the transition from high school to college hockey. I wasn't surprised to find that he struggled sometimes; it wasn't as easy as it looked.

We pulled up to Stub and Herbs, parallel parking and slipping some quarters into the meters before walking across the street hand in hand. We walked into the crowded restaurant, smiling at the hostess who asked if we wanted to wait for a table or eat in the bar. We both noticed the bar was overly noisy and not what we were looking for. We opted to wait the short ten minutes for a table, continuing our hockey conversation.

"It's great to be able to talk to a girl about hockey. Most girls I've been around don't know anything about the game. They just know what I tell them, but you're like a breath of fresh air." He gave me a light smile as I nodded.

"That's what happens when you fall in love with the game."

"There's no better game on earth than hockey." Mike nodded his agreement as the hostess called his name. She lead us to a table in the dining room, a tall table by a window that looked out across the street. She set the menus down as I shrugged off my cream pea coat, scanning our area quickly. That's when I saw them.

I paused from pulling the sleeve of my coat off as Joyce Lucia waved enthusiastically at me. I stared for a moment before I set a reserved smile on my face, glancing nervously at her son and his girlfriend both of whom had their backs to me. I tugged my jacket off the rest of the way before setting it behind my chair just as Joyce waved me over. Tony picked that moment to glance over his shoulder, eyes lowering when his green eyes met mine. He turned around with a visible huff before he shook his head at his mom. I bit my lip and glanced at Mike who was scanning the menu.

"Mike? Would you mind if I went to talk to the Lucias?" I asked him. "I had no idea they would be here." I muttered sheepishly, blushing slightly in the low lighting.

"No go ahead." He smiled at me before dipping his eyes back to the menu again. I smiled gratefully at him before slipping off my chair, my black Coach sneakers squeaking against the floor as I went.

"Brianna!" Joyce smiled sweetly at me, giving me a tight hug.

"Hey guys." I waved to the whole family- Ali, Jessica, Mario, Don, and of course, Tony. "Hey Leah." I murmured, noticing the nervousness her face held which was calmed slightly by my presence. I found it odd that she could seek comfort in me when I would give anything to be in her position. I glanced at Tony out of the corner of my eye, noticing he looked less than pleased with not only me being there, but also the whole situation.

"You weren't at the game today." Joyce pointed out to me.

"Yeah, I had to work." I sighed quietly as Tony snorted and then began muttering things under his breath. I wanted to smack him upside the head, but instead I clasped my hands together in front of me.

"That's too bad. It was a great game." She gave me a smile before glancing at the table Mike and I were sitting at. "Who's your friend, hun?" She asked not so casually. I sighed again as Tony seemed to tense up even more, his mood starting to rub off on me.

"Mike Hoeffel." I told her. Don's attention perked up a bit as he looked at me and then Tony who was sulking silently next to his equally silent girlfriend. She looked beyond uncomfortable- probably because Tony was being a douche bag about the whole situation. She should dump him, or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.

"Oh! He is such a sweetheart. Is he your boyfriend?" She wondered innocently. Tony's head perked up at that and he spoke for the first time.

"No, mom. Their just friends. Right, Brianna." He hissed my name, causing my eyes to narrow at him before I stood tall and turned back to Joyce. I wasn't going to sink to his level, nor was I going to let him ruin my date.

"Right, Tony. Anyway, I should really get back to him." I smiled at all the Lucia kids and parents, except for Tony, before turning back to my table, realizing I had been neglecting Mike for too long. I noticed there was a Coke sitting on a napkin waiting for me.

"I wasn't sure if that's what you wanted, but I don't think its possible to go wrong with Coke." Mike chuckled as I smiled thankfully.

"No, Coke is great. Thank you. I'm sorry that took so long."

"No problem. You can take as much time as you want with the Lucias. I want to stay on coach's good side." We both laughed at that and I couldn't help but noticed Tony turning to look over his shoulder at us again.

The rest of dinner was much of the same. Mike and I ordered our food and continued to talk and get to know each other while tony kept stealing not so subtle glances at the two of us. Part of me was tingling because I knew looking meant he cared, but the other part of me was irritated. It was the same old fight with the two parts of myself. I was slightly relieved when Mike paid for dinner and we were on our way back to my house. I wasn't sure if I could handle anymore of Tony's looks, not to mention the way he would kiss Leah's cheek as if he knew it would slice my heart into pieces.

Mike pulled into the driveway of mine and Kara's house, which was thankfully dark. I didn't have enough energy to handle all of the questions Kara and Joey were bound to ask me. Mike walked me up the the door like a gentleman, both of us still having a good time. I was still slightly bummed that our fun night had to end because despite Tony, I did have a great time with Mike.

"I had a really great time tonight." I told Mike as I toyed with my keys, looking up into his crystal blue eyes and wondering what it would be like to feel his lips against mine.

"Yeah me too. You're an amazing girl, Brianna. I hope that we can have more days like this." He smiled kindly at me. We were both quiet after that as we looked into each others eyes. And then it just happened. We both moved towards one another at the same time. His hands went to my hips with my arms wrapped around his neck as our lips met in a spine tingling kiss. Our lips brushed together sweetly before we both pulled away, cheeks flushed and eyes wide with excitement. It felt good to be kissed in such a gentle but exhilarating way.

"Wow." Mike whispered out as he stepped back as I nodded.

"Yeah." I swallowed nervously, looking down at my keys.

"I hope we can do this again, and I don't just mean the kiss." He chuckled as I smiled at him.

"I'd really like that." I told him honestly. He gave me a hug and another kiss on the cheek before he walked down the steps. I flipped the lock on the door and pushed it open, my teeth digging in to my bottom lip as I waved to Mike who had been waiting for me to enter the house. I closed the door, looking up the stairs to the dark hallway where my room was calling to me.

As I climbed the stairs to get ready to sleep off this rush from the kiss, I realized for the first time that maybe, bringing Mike into this complicated situation really wasn't that great of an idea after all.