Don't Ever Lose Hope

Nicole’s POV

Death; it’s a word that no one likes to hear, but we all have to deal with in some way or another. Unfortunately, this wasn’t how I pictured it. There was no way I was picturing my ex on some operating table; his life slowly slipping away. I was going crazy or so I thought until I saw the others standing around me doing everything in their power to save him.
Wait, those weren’t my friends. Those people that were trying but failing at saving my ex’s life were doctors. So, where were my friends? I looked around the brightly lit room, but didn’t see them. It seemed as if the doctors were in panic mode when I was in complete shock of what was happening. It’s much harder to understand what went on when I had no memory of this happening. Maybe I was somewhere else on the ship. I needed to find my other friends; hopefully they would be able to tell me why Alex was losing his chance to live.
As soon as I turned around though, another doctor, clearly out of breath, came running through the same doors I was about to walk out of.
“Jack is flat lining; I need some help and fast. We have no time to waste.” I couldn’t even comprehend what she had said before she ran out of there just as quickly as she came in. I closed my eyes, trying to breath.
“Please tell me she was talking about another Jack, not our Jack. I mean, Jack is a very popular name, so it had to be another Jack. It had too; Jack Barakat can’t be dying. He nearly lost his life once before; this can’t be happening to him again. It just can’t be.” Tears streamed down my face as I tried to convince myself that I was somehow going crazy and none of this was really happening, but as I slowly opened my eyes again, I was still in the same ER, with the same doctors and Alex was still on that damn operating table.
Trust me, I wanted to help desperately, but what was I supposed to do? I wasn’t a doctor. As I was trying to come up with ways to help something else came to my mind, something I didn’t even want to think about at the moment. Where were Zack, Rian and Meagan? Were they fighting for their lives as well? I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to think back on what we were all doing before we got into this nightmare. Then I heard it; this blood curdling scream that sounded like Meagan. At that moment, I knew what had happened. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t focus on anything but that deadly scream that brought chills throughout my entire body. Jack was dead. Holy shit; Jack Barakat; there is no possible way that Jack, a guy that could pick you up when you’re down, a guy that could bring joy in your life when you need it the most, is not alive. I couldn’t even wrap my head around the possibility of that happening. It just wasn’t true; I wasn’t going to let it be.
However, as I heard one of the surgeons call out the time of death, the same surgeon that was working on Alex, I lost it. It was my turn to scream.
I woke up screaming, in a sweat, trying to catch my breath. As I gained consciousness of the room I was in, I realized that I had the worst nightmare in the history of nightmares. Even though it was a nightmare, my whole body was still shaking and I needed to find Jack or someone to reassure me that my nightmare was truly a nightmare. I barely moved an inch when the door opened and closed, and I smiled for the first time since I woke up.
“Are you okay Nicole? You look a little shaken up,” he said laughing.
“You don’t know how excited I am to see you!!” I said, jumping up from the bed and into his warm embrace. As I was hugging him, tears filled my vision. I tried hard to fight them off, but I couldn’t. I was beyond ecstatic to see that he was okay.
“Would you care to explain to me what is going on?” he asked, concern filling his every word.
“It was just a nightmare Jack; thank God it was only a nightmare,” I said trying to get the images of the scenes that were playing back in my head away.
“Wow; it seemed to really affect you. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jack asked me. As I looked up at his brown eyes that I never really admired until now, I smiled and nodded my head.
“I’m just glad you’re here and you’re safe.” I told him honestly. He smiled that adorable smile of his at me. I could tell he was still confused about what I was talking about, but I was glad he wasn’t pressing the subject. I realized that I needed to go talk to Alex. It had only been a day since we broke up, but it feels like forever, and after having this nightmare I realized I couldn’t live without him.
Even though I was the one who broke up with him, I needed to fix it. We all make poor choices in life, and this was one of mine. On my walk down the hall I was praying that he would take me back. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if he didn’t.
As I approached the door, I was having second thoughts. Maybe this is too soon to try to get back together. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was still mad at me and told me to leave as soon as I entered the room. Maybe I should stop thinking about what might happen and go in there and get Alex back. I took a deep breath before I slowly opened the door, trying to stay quiet. To be honest, I was kind of scared what he might do, but it’s now or never. I closed the door behind me, waiting to see if Alex noticed I was even in the room.
Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw him. I told myself I wasn’t going to break down, but it was harder than I expected it to be. Not talking for an entire day was really difficult on me; hell not seeing him for a day was difficult. Watching him breathe was enough to push me over the edge; I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed Alex back in my life. I was hoping he would feel the same way.
When he finally looked up from the television; his caramel eyes locked with mine. It was those eyes that caught my attention when I first met him. I easily got lost in them. I was scared out of my mind; neither one of us spoke, just stared at each other, noticing each other’s existence.
“What are you doing here and why do you look like you’re about to burst into tears?” His words hurt, no doubt about that, but at least he acknowledged my presence in the room. I didn’t even know where to begin. All I wanted was to be back in his embrace. However, with the way things were going, it didn’t look like that was going to happen anytime soon.
“Nicole? Are you going to tell me why you are here?” he asked again, obviously wanting an answer. This would be a lot easier if he didn’t have to talk so harshly towards me. He acted like he didn’t even care, and this wasn’t what I wanted.
I sighed, still not knowing where to start, but I was afraid if I waited too much longer to talk he would get upset, so I just started with the first thing that came into my mind. “I’m sorry, okay? When I broke up with you I didn’t know what I was doing. It was a very stupid decision on my part, and after I had this stupid nightmare I realized I couldn’t live without you. I know pathetic, right? But it’s the truth, and I can’t hide the truth anymore. I want to get back together Alex.” I could hardly understand myself because of the tears that were running freely down my face and the sobs that were escaping my mouth. I just wanted him to know what I was feeling at the moment.
He didn’t say anything for a while. I guess he was trying to decipher what I had just told him. “You do know I absolutely hate seeing you cry,” he said. “Come here.” I was kind of taken back because I didn’t think he was going to say that, but I did what he told me anyways. Tears were still streaming down my face when I was nearly inches away from him. He slowly reached up towards my face and wiped them away with his thumb. His touch was enough to send sparks throughout my entire body.
Before I knew what he was about to do, he picked me up without hesitation and set me on his lap. I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head down on his chest. For the first time in a while, I felt content. This is where I belonged. I could feel him staring at me, with that adorable smirk on his face. I slowly looked up at him, “so does this mean we’re back together?” I asked him hopefully. He leaned down and kissed me softly, smiling in the process.
“What do you think?” he asked afterwards. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling again; I tried to quickly wipe them away before Alex could see, but he seems to always notice when I’m upset or happy. He can decipher my emotions really well, which is a little bit scary at times. “Why are you crying again?” he asked, worried that he may have done something wrong.
“Alex, these are tears of happiness not tears of sadness,” I told him, a smile forming on my face. A smile formed on his face as well as he wrapped his arms tighter around my body. “Thank you for taking me back; I was afraid you wouldn’t. After all, I was the one who broke up with you.” I told him.
“Nicole, I would be very stupid if I didn’t. Every second of that one day we weren’t together was killing me. I was praying you would forgive me for my stupid mistake because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for my stupidity.” I could tell he was beating himself up for what he had done, and I didn’t like that. Even though he did hurt me, we all make mistakes. We just have to learn to forgive each other and not hold a grudge.
“Alex?”
“Yes honey?” I smiled.
“I love you.” He leaned down and slowly brought his lips to mine. As soon as our lips met, butterflies filled my stomach. I guess that feeling will never go away, but I was okay with that.
“I love you too babe.” I slowly drifted off to sleep in his arms very glad to call him my boyfriend once again.