Don't Ever Lose Hope

Nicole’s POV

I was trying not to worry. Really, I wasn’t, but being engaged to the guy of your dreams makes everything more real, and I could just tell something was bothering him today. Every time I would mention something to him he would just shrug it off like it was nothing. It made me worried. Was he second-guessing the engagement? Did he realize that he wasn’t in love with me like he thought he was? All of these questions kept swarming around my head, and to say it was driving me crazy was an understatement. I knew I had to sit down and talk to him about it when he got home from talking with Jack. I mean, that’s what engaged couples do right? Instead of yelling at each other when they’re having an issue, they calmly talk about it in a mature manner. Of course, I wouldn’t know because I’ve only been engaged for not even a day, but every time I looked down at that ring a smile was upon my face in seconds. I still couldn’t believe that Alex Gaskarth, THE Alex Gaskarth proposed to me. I still got all giddy just thinking about it. Then those haunting thoughts came back for a visit.

I finished unpacking our things a little bit after Alex left, so now I was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels on the television, lost in my own thoughts. I sighed, wondering when Alex was coming home. I didn’t want to call him because I knew he was talking with Jack, but could it really hurt? I picked up my phone getting ready to dial Alex’s number when I had another call coming in. Meagan’s face lit up the screen and I answered it, curious as to why she was calling.

“Hello?” I asked, hoping she didn’t notice the concern lacing my voice.

“Hey Nicole, what are you up to?” she asked. Well, she seemed to be in a good mood.

“Nothing much really; I finished unpacking my things so now I’m just sitting here bored out of my mind waiting for Alex to come home.”

“Where’s Alex?”

“I figured you would know since he went over to Jack’s. He said he needed to talk to him about something. He didn’t bother telling me what it was about though, and it’s really beginning to worry me.”

“I’m not with Jack right now. We’re going on a date tonight, so I’ve been getting ready at my house.” I smiled at her response. I was really happy my best friend was with someone as amazing as Jack. They were too cute together. It was even sickening at times, but I wasn’t going to mention that to her.

“Speaking of Jack though, do you have any idea as to why Alex is over there right now? Right as we stepped into the house he seemed like he had the urge to rush over there, and I know it’s not going to do any good to worry, but I am. What if he’s talking to him about the engagement and if he did the right thing? I mean, Jack is his best friend after all. I don’t think he would have trouble opening up to topics like that to him,” I told her truthfully. I waited for her response, sitting in silence for a minute.

“I honestly don’t know Nicole. He didn’t tell me anything about Alex wanting to talk to him. He seemed perfectly fine today. I’ll talk to him about it tonight if that would make you feel better.” I sighed, I didn’t really want to drag my best friend into this, but I would feel more comfortable if she did. I knew she wouldn’t have any problem with it either.

“Yeah, that would be great Meagan. Thank you,” I said, feeling a little bit better.

“Anything for you Nicole, well I just figured I would call to see how you were doing. It’s weird not seeing each other every minute now that we aren’t on the cruise anymore. I have a few things I need to do though before my date tonight, but it was nice talking to you. I’ll be sure to talk to Jack about Alex tonight.”

“Thanks again Meagan! I really appreciate it!” We said our good-byes and hung up. I was happy Meagan would talk to Jack. At least I would get some type of answer from her seeing that Alex wouldn’t tell me anything. I wanted to talk to him about it though. I didn’t want to hide my concerns from him. That wouldn’t be right.

I was still flipping through the television channels, finding nothing interesting on, when I heard the front door open but then slam really loudly. Seconds later, I saw Alex walk in, and he didn’t look to happy. Maybe our talk should be saved for later.

“Hi,” I said hesitantly, not knowing if he wanted to talk or not. He looked at me for a second, running his fingers through his hair. He walked over to me and sat down on the couch. I didn’t know what to say, so we just sat there awkwardly waiting for the other person to say something. After about a minute of awkward silence, Alex said something, something that no one in a relationship ever wants to hear.

“We need to talk.” Those four dreaded words came out of his mouth like he’s been practicing saying them for weeks now. How could he be so calm about this; especially knowing that those four words aren’t exactly words that a person in a relationship wants to hear. Maybe he doesn’t know that. I didn’t know what to say. I’ve been so worried all day because Alex has been so distant with me, but now I was even more worried. I was so nervous that my stomach was forming knots. Tears formed in my eyes. No matter how hard I tried to stop them, I couldn’t. Why did he always have to see me like this? Why did he always have to see me at my weakest point? Maybe that’s why he’s breaking up with me. He doesn’t think I’m strong enough to be in this type of relationship. I looked at him, trying not to break down more. He scooted closer to me, pulling me into his arms. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I didn’t want to let him go. I wasn’t going to let that happen, even if he was going to break up with me. I was going to try my hardest to stay with him. Then he asked me something I wasn’t expecting to hear from him.

“Why are you crying love?” I didn’t know what to say. I could tell he was concerned, and I didn’t want to leave him hanging for too long. I pulled away from his arms, sighing, spilling my words out, which probably made no sense.

“Starting off a sentence like, ‘we need to talk’ isn’t exactly a good thing. You should know that. I’ve been worrying all day because you haven’t been yourself and I feel like you’re keeping things from me that I should know about. I feel like your second-guessing this whole engagement thing. Maybe you’re not as in love with me as I thought you were. I figured that’s why you went over to Jack’s, to get his opinion on the issue. Please Alex, don’t break up with me. I can make it up to you. I don’t know how yet, but I will. I love you.” I broke down; my heart hurt like hell. I couldn’t lose the guy I’ve been in love with all these years. He looked at me, and then a smile appeared on his face. This made me even more upset. How could he be happy about this? Then he started laughing. Now I was pissed. This isn’t funny. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me.

“Nicole, honey, where in the world did you come up with an idea like that?” He looked at me, still smiling.

“I- I just thought-that, I don’t know,” I replied to him honestly.

“Babe, I would be a complete jerk if I proposed to you and then broke up with you the next day. The reason why I was distant with you was because of Jack. You know how I left you last night to go and find him? Well, I discovered something that I’m still pissed about. That is what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, letting out a chuckle.

I smiled for the first time since he walked in the door. A thousand weights lifted off my shoulders knowing that he wasn’t going to break up with me. “Well, are you going to tell me or not?” I asked, waiting for him to respond.

“Jack cheated on Meagan Nicole. As I was walking up to his room to find him, I heard him and Marissa getting it on through the doors. I couldn’t believe he would cheat on Meagan like that, even if they were drunk, that’s no excuse. I was furious with him, especially because he wasn’t there to witness me proposing to you. I went to him for all of the advice. He went with me to pick out your ring, and it hurt like hell to know that instead of my best friend being there to see an important part of my life unfold, he was having sex with his ex that he hates.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wasn’t expecting to hear this news at all. I didn’t realize Jack could be so stupid. I wanted to punch him, how could he do this to my best friend? They seemed so happy together and in love. It just wasn’t fair to her. Wait, Meagan seemed fine on the phone. She even told me that Jack asked her out on a date tonight, which could only mean one thing.

“Jack didn’t tell her did he?” I asked Alex, getting more infuriated by the second. He shook his head. I was shocked. Cheating on someone is down-right awful, but then lying to them about it afterwards is cruel, mean, unkind, malicious, spiteful, I could go on and on. It’s just something you don’t do. Jack should know that, obviously he doesn’t.

“So what did you talk about when you went over there?”

“It was more like yelling than talking, but I swear, that Jack that I talked to is a different Jack. He isn’t the Jack a met in high school. He isn’t my best friend I’ve known for years now. The things he was saying to me I just couldn’t believe he was actually saying. Instead of confessing that he cheated, he blamed the alcohol. It wasn’t his fault because they were both wasted. Then when I brought up the fact that Meagan seemed fine when they were together earlier today he told me that he thought it was better if she didn’t find out. I told him that if he doesn’t fess up and tell her than I will, and I’m not even kidding.”

“I talked to Meagan while you were over at Jack’s and she told me that Jack asked her out on a date tonight. I can’t believe that bastard.” It took everything in me to not pick up my phone and dial his number, completely going off on him.

“Are you kidding me?!” Alex yelled, standing up from the couch. He started pacing the length of the room. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to throw something across it. He soon picked up his phone, knowing what his next move was going to be.

It took a couple minutes for the person on the other line to answer, but once he said her name I knew what he was about to do. It was for the best, in my opinion. Who knew when Jack was going to tell her, if he even was going to tell her.

“Meagan, sorry to interrupt your dinner, but I need to tell you something.” He waited for her to respond. “I wish this could wait, but I think it’s best if you know now,” he took a deep breath sighing, knowing the next thing he’s about to say will break her heart. “Jack cheated on you Meagan. Jack cheated on you with Marissa, and I wish it wasn’t true. I wish I was lying, but Jack was going to keep this secret from you and I couldn’t handle that. It’s best you know now than to find out later.” He waited for her response, then looked at me, quickly pulling the phone from his ear because of the screaming. He wasn’t quite sure what was being said from the other line. All I could hear was just mumbling. Someone soon came back on the line, obviously upset at these turn of events.

“How could you Alex?! I told you not to, why couldn’t you have just listened to me?” Jack screamed into the phone, his voice cracking a couple of times because of it. He was beyond furious. I shook a little; I’ve never actually heard him yell at another person in my life, and it was kind of scary. “I can’t believe you would do this to me Alex. You’re my best friend, but I guess things change right? People change and best friends soon become just friends and then that relationship soon turns into nothing. Well, I’m through Alex. I don’t need you in my life. I quit, and yes, that means the band,” and with that the line went dead.