My Heart

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
From the moment she uttered the words, she knew it was a mistake. He just made her so mad at times. He loved her, she loved him and he promised he'd leave "the other girl" (she couldn't bear to hear her name) as soon as he could. That day didn't come. She broke down and confessed to their friend. The heavens opened and the world they'd created together crumbled to dust in front of her eyes.

That I've fallen down
He used to pick her up when things went wrong. When the people around her pushed her about, when their words got too much. He'd pick her up and put her back where she belonged. He saw a part of himself in her eyes. No one had tried to save him when he needed them to, how could he let that happen to her?

And I can't do this alone
The day everyone walked out on her, her father did too. All of the people she cared about had to move on. She got left behind. That evening, he was the first person she called. Even though he was with "the other girl", he left immediately and stayed on the phone to her until they both fell asleep. Even then, they had no idea what lay ahead of them both.

Stay with me
The nightmares continued long after her father left. He called her every night until she fell asleep. They wouldn't talk about anything at all sometimes. She'd wrap her arms around her pillow, dreaming they were him. He'd stare up at the ceiling, wondering how he'd fallen this far, this fast. She hated the dark. He'd hold her close to him and rest his chin on her head. She'd close her eyes and imagine what their lives could be like.

This is what I need, please
She was hesitant the first time they kissed. He wasn't. She was scared that he'd hate her someday & regret what they'd done. He looked into her eyes and promised her that he couldn't hate her if he tried & that he'd never regret anything to do with her. She believed him. He kept his promise.

Sing us a song and we'll sing back to you
He was always singing. She loved the sound of his voice. Sometimes even the way he spoke sounded like song to her.

We could sing our own
One day, she was miserable and depressed. They hid in the room & he sang her a song. It was a song about her hair, her smile, her eyes, everything he loved. Nothing could have made her smile more that day.

But what would it be without you?
When she left, she felt like half a person. She felt like she was nothing without him. She kept telling herself it was ridiculous to feel like this, it had been a year and thirteen days, he didn't want her anymore. Little did she know, he felt the same.

I am nothing now
It wasn't just her who had bad days. He did too. Sometimes, he'd just sit there staring into space. Other days he'd hide himself away. When things were at their worst, his chest would feel like it was going to explode, his pulse racing. She felt helpless to help him and would try to comfort him. It worked some days, others they weren't so lucky. On those days she'd sit watching him, wishing for a cure.

And it's been so long
Neither of them visited their place anymore. Not together anyway. When needed time to think they'd slump to the ground, supported by the wall that once held up their passion, wishing the other was there.

Since I've heard a sound
That song reminded them of each other. A month after their world ended, she heard their song playing in a shop. Burying her face in her hands, she walked out in a flurry of tears and collapsed on a bench outside. When he heard it whilst out with his friends, he went silent and absentmindedly played with “the other girls” hair, wishing it was hers.

The sound of my only hope
They both hoped that the day things ended would never come. A year later, they both agreed that hope was for fools and that everything had to end at some point.

This time I will be listening
She vowed that the next time he sang to her she'd listen to her heart and tell him how much she loved him.

Sing us a song and we'll sing back to you
(Sing it back to you)
He held her wrists delicately and sang songs about love to her. She adored these moments and the fact that they were shrouded in darkness made them even more precious. She'd sing the songs back to him and he'd kiss her where his fingers lay.

We could sing our own
Two years later, she sings on her own in the darkness. His fingertips and his lips are replaced with ink. “Love” is still on her left wrist, but it's not his. When his love was placed there, there was no tears. When the man with his needle placed love there, she cried for them both.

But what would it be without you?
They remain “just friends”. They both joke about how they've grown up. Years later, without each other they can function but not as they were. They wonder what it would be like if they had been together. They never talk about things though, sometimes she wonders if it was real at all.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
She tried moving on, she really did.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
No matter how many times it was said that they were “just friends” it didn't get easier.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
He stayed with “the other girl”, he didn't really know if it was because he had a guilty conscience or he was scared of admitting the truth.

My heart is yours
She was always going to be his, no matter what happened. If he ever wanted her, she would be there.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
She kissed the others to try and get over him. Every time she opened her eyes and it wasn't him, she felt disgusted with herself.

My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)
He did the same things they'd done together everyday for the first year that she'd been gone; like a ritual to make her come back through that door. She did, twice a week and those nights made it all worthwhile.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
After a particularly long evening of talking, singing and dancing, they both collapsed on their beds. Even separated by those few miles they had the same thoughts of that night they'd walked into each other on the landing. Both sleepy, he kissed her forehead and she took in his scent. They both went to sleep believing that the other was a figment of their imagination.

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart
My heart is yours
He remembered the first time he saw her kissing another man. His heart was ripped into a million pieces and she held them all in her hands. She looked disgusted with herself and they lasted a mere three weeks. He was happy.

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
“The other girl” had changed him so much. She couldn't understand why. He was perfect in every way, how can you change perfection? Sometimes she caught a glimpse of the old him in his eyes.

My heart is yours
She didn't see him for two weeks. This was the longest they'd been apart since the day they'd met. Constantly checking her phone for messages, trying to find out the slightest clue to where he was, she was lost. It broke her heart when she found out he'd gone away with “the other girl”. They never spoke about it.

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
He thought she'd changed. Gone was the hair that he'd loved so much, the shyness and the awkwardness. In its place was a defiant, bold and daring person. If he looked into her eyes he could see right through the mask. He couldn't let her go. She found it unnerving how he could do that.

My heart is yours
Men came and went. No one ever got close. A fleeting kiss and a mumble was all they ever got. She couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Some nights, she cried herself to sleep thinking about him and “the other girl” sharing a bed. He didn't think about her anymore. He'd let go.

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
He was slipping through her fingertips. To try and stop the memories from fading, she decided to create a new one. Sneaking into his room, she wore nothing but her underwear. Stood freezing in the moonlight he gazed at her whilst his hand grazed her skin. As she led in his bed, they held hands, a final goodbye, the way they'd wanted it. He kissed her neck gently and without saying a word, she left.

My heart is...
They see each other three times a week. To the outside world, they are the best of friends, inseperable. Sometimes they think about the past and smile. Sometimes they think about the past and cry. Their hearts still belong to each other in a sense, but now they've moved on. Every once in a while he closes his eyes and imagines her infront of him, smiling. She looks at her wrist and remembers how his lips once felt there. Memories, bittersweet memories.