Always

It’s been two months since I’ve seen his face or heard his voice. Two months since he has actually held me in his arms; two months since I found out I was pregnant with his child. It was finally nearing playoff season and the only people from the team I now talk to is Sharpie, Kaner, and Tazer. I was sitting at home looking for another place to work for. Not much came up for the main hospitals but little clinics needed a lot of help. These past two months I was seriously on edge. Jess would be coming over for a girl’s night. She is the only one that knows about the baby and she supports me with whatever I choose. My family is pretty pissed off, having a baby out of wedlock let alone sex before marriage was not what they saw happening in my life. Rubbing my temples I decided going for walk since it was finally April and today was nice out. “Boss come on boy.” He got up and walked out with me his leash in my hand. It being eleven made everything a little busy because of the lunch hour.
Walking near the lake front I could feel the mist of the water hitting my face. I loved coming by the fountain and just sit and watch everything go by. It was a way to calm my nerves I guess you could say. “Hey,” I turned around from where I heard the familiar voice.

“Hey Jon,” I responded. I felt the heat of his body come closer and sit with me on the bench. “What are you doing here?” I asked simply

“I could ask you the same thing.”
I looked at him with a silly look on my face, “I’m walking my dog. Now we are breaking.” I said as I saw Boss sitting taking in the air.

“How’ve you been?” Jon asked.

“Okay I guess.” I said, it got quiet between us and I think I knew what was coming next.

“He isn’t the same Brianna. He isn’t into the game, he can’t concentrate and he is always in a fucked up pussy mood.” Jon explained, “Please just talk to him, for the team or for me.”

I looked at him and sighed, “I can’t just talk to him Jon there is too much shit going on right now and it would just make everything worse! Why can’t you guys understand he cheated on me? I love him I always will but I can’t be with someone knowing it’ll get boring in six months for him that he takes up casual sex. I’m not okay with that and I have new changes to be prepared for alright.” Jon sighed as I stood up about to walk away from him not wanting to discuss this anymore. I felt him grab my wrist and turn me towards him again.

“What new changes? Are you moving?” I shook my head knowing the tears were going to start falling. I feel wetness on my face, I was now crying in front of Captain Serious. My knees went weak, I felt Jon’s grip tighten around me as he caught me. “Shh, whatever it is it’ll be okay.” He cooed.

I pulled away shaking my head in disagreement. “No Jon it won’t. How am I suppose to support a child when I don’t even have a stable job! Not even a stable boyfriend! This is why its so hard because I know that when this baby comes my life is going to change and I need someone there for me. I never pictured being a single mother and now I’m just some dumb statistic and I can’t have that. Abortion is out of the question, I can’t kill this baby inside me; Adoption will not happen unless Adam knows. I can’t tell him because Playoff season is around the corner, you think he needs more stress now? I’m going home.” I said and walked away. I saw Jon just standing there not moving.

I made it home in time for a nice warm bath before jess came. Once I was relaxed with the candles, bubbles and a book I heard knocking. She is way early. I slipped on my plush robe and opened the door. “Adam.” I said in shock.

“Can I come in?” he said with a sad look on his face. I moved to the side to let him in, hoping this was the right decision. “Jess is going to be here in a few so if you can just tell me why you’re here that’d be great.”

He smiled weakly, “Jess won’t be coming she set this up so we could talk.” I huffed at how my best friend tricked me.

“Okay talk…” I stated. I stood with my arms crossed leaning against the kitchen counter.

He laughed a bit, “I remember when you made lasagna for our first meal together. We didn’t even finish picking up.”

“Adam come on why are you here.” I said getting a little angry at this point.

His smile faded from his face. “How come you didn’t tell me you are pregnant?” My hands dropped to my sides.

I was more than pissed now, “Jon had no right to tell you even if I wanted you to know. That was not his business to tell.”

I noticed adam shake his head, “Jon didn’t tell me, Jess did. She knows you can’t do this alone.” He said, walking closer to me he now had me trapped between him and the counter. “How far along are you?” I looked at him not wanting to answer.

“I found out the day after I found you with that whore. You know what though Adam, why do you even care. I mean you were fucking someone else while we were together. Did the voice in your head say, hmm maybe I shouldn’t be doing this I have girlfriend that I say I love you to everyday. No it didn’t, I don’t need a man who says one thing and does another in my baby’s life.”

I felt his hands grab my hips and pull me close to him. Damn myself for loving this man, “Brianna I love you, I’m so sorry I fucked up. It isn’t an excuse but I was starting to get scared. The longest relationship I’ve been in was with you and I messed up a good thing. I want you back and I want to be apart of this baby’s life. I love you and it more than anything. Please take me back.” He said pushing our foreheads together.

His eyes were closed and I had tears in my eyes. “First time shame on you, Second time shame on me. I swear Adam if you fuck this up again I never want to hear from you again. Please don’t hurt me or this baby anymore than you already have.” With saying that Adam had a huge smile on his face which cause me to smile. He kissed me hard. I just hope this time it works out.