Always

It is now February and the days are shorter than expected. Adam and I have our couple fights but nothing to big. I was just about to get off work when beeping came from Alex’s room. I rushed in there to see what was going on. I looked at his heart monitor and his heart rate was getting dangerously low. Alex’s mom looks so scared. “We are going to try an-“ I was interrupted by the long beep alerting us Alex’s heart had stopped.

“GET THE DEFIBULATOR!” I yell rushing to the door side to retrieve it from the other nurse. Alex’s mom was pushed out of the room so we could try to revive Alex. “Come on Alex you can come back come on.” I said as I was continuing to give him compressions on his heart. “Come on, please Alex.” I said now with tears pouring out of my eyes.

“Brianna call time of death.” The attending ordered.

“No he can come back.” I said not listening to the orders that were given.

“You tried, Brianna call T.O.D.” Lisa an elder nurse told me.

“Time of death, six forty five p.m.” I said. I stopped wiping he sweat and tears off my face. “Tell his mom.” The attending order again. I nodded my head and walked out of the room with a tear stained face. “I’m so sorry. I tried.” I said distraught.

Alex’s mom and I were in an embrace trying to comfort one another with the reality of what just happened. “Brianna,” his mom sniffled. “You were the best person we have ever known, I love you and Alex loves you. He is no longer suffering, the best part is he said he loved me and is going to sleep now. I know he is safe and he is happy.” We both smiled and hugged each other once more.

After getting my things together I went up to the attending doctor, “I quit.” I said walking out of the hospital. I can’t deal with sick kids any more it is so stressful and too sad for me to be around for another year. Five years is a good amount of time I put in this unit.

I lay on my couch in my scrubs still crying. I know Alex is happier but he was too young. I missed Adam. He wouldn’t be coming home until tomorrow from the road trip. I dialed his number wanting to speak to him, “Hey you reached my phone I’m not here leave a message.” His voicemail said to me.

“Hey babe, uhm just call me back when you get this. I love you.” I hung up and decided to call Jon and talk to him. “Hello?” he said groggily.

“Hey Jon its Bri.” I said

“Hey Bri, is everything okay?” he asked

“No, Alex he uhm passed away today.”

“Holy shit Bri I’m so sorry. I know he was special to you.”

“I know that’s why I quit. I can’t handle being there anymore.” I said sobbing.

“That’s completely understandable. Did you call Bur?”

“Yeah but he didn’t answer do you know why?” I asked

“I think he went out with a couple of guy after our win tonight.”

“Oh yeah! Congrats on that. Do you know what goes on next?”

“Thanks, we have a few more games then it is playoff time.” He said sounding excited.

“You guys will get it this year. I know it. I’m going to bed I’ll talk to you later, night.”

“Night Bri. Sleep well.” We hung up. I looked at Boss hoping he would be awake but he wasn’t. I decided just to stay up and watch late night TV. Until I actually pass out on the couch.

It was late afternoon when I finally woke up. Adam should be home by now, I decided to shower and dress in something seductive because I needed him right now more than ever. I put on my long pea coat and headed out the door.
I arrived at Adam’s and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal Adam in nothing but his boxers. “Hey Bri.” He said with a smile.

“Hey Babe, Can I come in?” I asked as I walked into his apartment. I took off my coat and threw it over the couch. “Damn baby.” He said walking towards me grabbing my hips to pull me closer to him.

“I missed you.” I said before I kissed him lightly.

“I missed you too. Jon told me about Alex, babe I’m so sorry.” He said.

“Adam I’m here because I need you right now and I need to take my mind of everything except you.” I said giving him butterfly kisses along his neck.

“Babe you know I would love to but…” he said hesitantly.

“But what Adam?” I said kissing him even more. My hands slowly went down his chest not resting along the hem of his boxers. As I was about to take them off I saw a piece of clothing that I never saw before. I backed away from him and went over to his computer desk where I saw the slutty black bra. “What’s this?” I said holding with one finger away from me. As I asked that my question was answered when a busty brunette walked out of the hallway where his room was. “Adam come back to- uh who are you?” she gave me a disgusted look. Adam had a guilty and oh crap face.

“I am Brianna Adams girlfriend of six months. What are you doing here?” I asked her with spit all over the words.

“I am fucking your boyfriend.” She said hands on her hips with a satisfied smirk. I walked over to Adam and slapped him.

“I guess I wasn’t good enough and you try and play it off as nothing is wrong. What the hell is wrong with you? I said I love you to you, I never said that to anyone before. Adam,” I said with tears about to come out of my eyes. I sighed.

“Babe it’s nothing, just sex.” He explained like a casual conversation.

“JUST SEX! Adam are you stupid, which is the one thing that is the most important in relationship! I gave myself to you out of trust and of love. I never once fucked you it was all love to me and now you have seriously pissed me off!” I screamed at him. I swear I saw him piss a little bit; I have never gotten this mad before.

“I guess your man wanted something more fun and not so boring.” Puck bunny said. Steam was literally blowing out of my ears. I walked over to her and punched her square in the jaw. Shaking my fist out of pain I left Adam’s. “Bri wait!”

I turned around quickly and met with Adam’s face, “No I won’t because I thought maybe just maybe I wasn’t just a piece of ass to you but I guess I was. I never want to see you again.” I said wiping my tears and heading to my place.