Not A Soul

Hanley was shaking, rubbing his a aching head. I wanted to be there for Hanley, to make sure everything is fine, but the anger boiling inside of me towards Kellin was much too overpowering.

My pacing was violent. My fists curled up into tight knots, making pain shoot through my injured left hand. My palm's cut was probably bleeding again, and my wrist was pounding. It took everything in me not to start sobbing, and I was just so angry, I started to beat my fists against the wall.

Hanley just sat on the floor, watching my uncontrollable wave of emotions. He might have been calm, but I couldn't tell. Bennett showed up, and I'm not completely sure who told him what happened, but he rushed to Hanley and started to help. He put ice on Hanley's head, and he said something about going to the nurse.

That's when I broke down. I fell to my knees, my body shaking, and I sobbed. I cried harder than I had in a long time. I needed to be the one to be comforted, as much as I hate to say it.

I knew that everyone around us saw my break down, and they all were spreading something about Hanley and me. Bennett took Hanley to the nurse, and Leslie hurried towards me.

"Come on, Curt." She calmly said, "You should probably call home."

She took me to the guidance office, knowing that they'd want to talk to me, ask me what's the matter, and then decide whether I'm okay enough to stay in school.

I felt eyes on me, as I tried to calm my sobs, but Leslie pulled me inside, away from the school.

Miss Daria told Leslie to go, and then she turned to me. "Why are you so stressed? You're normally so happy."

I wasn't able to answer because I was sniffling so much. Ann Daria automatically thought it was family related."Are you still getting along with your father?"

I nodded, "Y-Yes."

"Talk to me." She sighed, "Tell me what's wrong."

I couldn't bring Kellin into this, and I couldn't make anything up. "I'm not having a good day. I'm just not in the best mood."

She told me to stay in school, which I was alright with since Kellin and I don't share anymore classes. I was unstable and everyone knew.

School let out, and I saw Kellin leaning on the side of the school. I marched my way over to him.

"I haven't been this upset since my parents split," He didn't need to know, but it left my mouth anyway, "They acted like everything was fine between them, and then once you left, they just broke it off. They didn't tell me until my dad moved out. They knew it would hurt me, and they did it anyway. They purposefully waited, knowing it would hurt more. But you! You were my best friend! I hoped so much that you would come back. I counted more on you than on my parents. You told me you would never hurt me, but you're a liar. You're just like your parents! I hate you. I hate how you feel like everything in your life is so horrible. You don't have to take your misery out on everyone else. Fuck you!"

I stomped angrily away, trying so hard to calm down and breathe.

I avoided Kellin as much as I could, which has made me feel much more relaxed. Hanley is back to his normal self, which I'm really happy about.

Tom winked, when he saw my arms around Hanley. I stuck my tongue out, and Hanley grinned. I haven't been this affectionate in a long time, and Tom and Hanley both know. Hanley likes to take advantage of it, and he tells everyone outrageous stories.

I know everyone believes him. I'm just glad he's alright. I think its safe to say he is my best friend.

"Want a pretzel?" I asked, holding the small bag towards him.

Hanley smirked, and he passed the offer up. "I know I said I wanted something salty, Curt, but I think we both know what I meant."

It took me a moment, but my cheeks turned darker, and I playfully pushed him.

Bennett made a face, as he told us how gross that was. I looked around the classroom, noticing how everyone heard what was discussed between Hanley and I.

What confused me the most was the look on Kellin's face.