Not A Soul

I laid down on my bed, hugging my pillow to my chest and stared up at the ceiling. Why does everything have to be so complicated all of the time? Kellin is horrible. He promisedme himself he wouldn't turn into his parents. They're drinkers, smokers, and liars. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me, and he hated me. Yet, the look on his face when he heard Hanley's sexual remark made it almost seem like he does have a heart. I felt like he did care. I felt like he was my protective best friend, again. Maybe it was my imagination because it was something I longed to see.

I massaged my left wrist. It has pained me since Kellin twisted it. I was too stubborn to get someone to look at it. I've just tried to ignore how much it hurt.

"Are you just going to stay like that?"

Bennett had his arms across his chest, folded firmly, as if he was upset at me. I had almost forgotten he was over. He was just so quiet.

I sat up, "I'm sorry, Benny."

"Don't apologize. Get up, change, and meet me downstairs. I want to take your mind off of things." Bennett smirked, and then left my room.

I sighed and dropped my feet to the floor. I wish I could say I moved gracefully to the dresser, but that would be a lie. I tripped over my own feet, but I managed to catch myself at the dresser, where I pulled open the drawers. I tore off my own shirt and replaced it with something a little more fitting. I slipped out of my pants and boxers and replaced those as well. I had to jump a couple of times for them to slide on, since they were a little tighter than my other ones, but I managed.

I freshened up a little. I splashed water on my face in the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, before I finally chose to march downstairs.

"If Hanley was here, you would have to wear something less sexy." Bennett laughed, "He's like a puppy. He'd hump you senseless."

I rolled my eyes, "He jokes about all of that, you know."

"Are you sure?" Bennett and I left the house and climbed into his car, "Sounds like he's trying to tell you about his undying love for you."

I shook my head, "I would know. He's my best friend."

I've only been to a few parties, and most of which were birthday parties. Today, though, Bennett pulled up to a large building, and he smiled, "Kathrine hosts the best parties I've ever been to. This will get your mind off of things, I'm sure."

I sighed, "As long as you won't drink with me."

"Deal."

We walked into, this girl, Kathrine's house, and immediately drinks were handed to us. It was as if someone was waiting at the door, handing out drinks. Benny and I set our drinks down, and started to make our way around.

We ran into a group of people that Benny seemed to know, and they made room for us to join them. I ended up being pulled down onto a dark blonde's lap, and he rested his head on my back. I was unsure of how to take this, since Benny ended up being squashed between a strawberry blonde girl and a dark-haired guy. At least he managed a seat... I got a lap.

I guess this is one way to take my mind off things.

The guy I was sitting on was murmuring, and I was glad that someone decided to speak up to me about it because when they did, I finally realized I definitely need to stop parading around how much of a faggot I am by the clothes I wear.

"Aaron's drunk," She grunted, "He probably thinks you're his ex-girlfriend, Margot. Just play along, and we can all see how he reacts. It'll be hysterical."

I looked to Bennett, who nodded for me to listen to her, and I tried to smile about it. I mean, seriously? I have to leave him to believe I'm some girl named Margot? Yeah, throw me into a ditch and shoot me.

I leaned into him, forcing him to sit up straight, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. He slurred away words that I couldn't understand. He grabbed my wrist, the one that pains me, and I bit my lip. It took so much out of me, as I tried not to hiss.

"What the fuck, Curt?"

I jumped off of Aaron, breaking free from his grasp around my body, and he didn't say anything.

I walked around with Hanley, before he finally decided to ask me about what was going on, and I told him the truth. He pouted for a while, but then he was back to his happy ol' self. I grinned, making him more and more like his usual self.

I sat around with him for what seemed like hours, but I knew it couldn't have possibly have been that long.

I caught a glimpse of Kellin, which surprised me. It shouldn't have. This was probably the worst place to have come, if I wanted to avoid him. He didn't come even close, though, and it was probably because of what I told him. Yet, I really couldn't shake him from my mind. I excused myself from Hanley, and I quickly went after my old friend.

I found him outside, bringing a cigarette to his lips. Everything he does either gets on my nerves or makes my knees cave in. This just happened to make our on-off relationship confusing. When I say 'relationship,' I don't mean it in a dating kind of way. I can't call him a friend, or a boyfriend, so the topic is stuck with the title of 'relationship.'

I quickly brushed my soft bangs out of my eyes, and I moved closer. I opened my mouth, expecting to speak first, but it ended up making me look more shocked when I found out that I wasn't.

"Are Hanley and you together?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why do you have to confuse me so much? One day, you piss me off beyond relief, and the next you're asking about my love life? Will you ever make up your mind?"

"Are you or not?" He still wasn't looking at me, and his curiosity is starting to worry me.

"I'm not dating Hanley, Kellin."