Not A Soul

His lips pressed against my own, and I stopped talking. Hell, I stopped breathing. His lips moved harder against my own, and I was kissing back with just as much pressure. His hands pulled my face closer, as he forced his tongue into my mouth. His tongue massaged my own, and his tongue moved to feel every part of my mouth. I held back my moans as best as I could.

He tore away from my lips, "Shit."

I bit my lip. Was I seriously that bad? I would like to think the kiss shared between us, our first kiss, was worth it. The way Kellin reacted when he pulled away was as if he regretted it. He regretted kissing me.

I rolled to my side, as I continue to lay on my bed. The moment continued to replay and replay and replay in my head. Each replay made me feel like it more and more of my fault.

Tom and Paul curled up on my bed, and Hanley and I sat on the floor against my bed. Hanley was playing Guitar Hero, while the rest of us watched. It helped get my mind off of Kellin.

Paul sat up, "Curt, I'm starving. Can you help me out?"

I followed him to the kitchen, and I let him search the fridge.

"I really think that you should be careful." He said, pulling the milk out. "I'm not sure if you see it, but I don't think Hanley wants to just be a close friend."

I sighed, "He's not just a close friend. He's my best friend."

"Not what I meant." He chuckled, "I see the way he looks at you. It's just like the way Tommy looks at me."

I rolled my eyes, "Nonsense."

Although, it made sense. He does look at me sometimes and it is as if I'm the best thing since trampolines. He does anything to keep me entertained and to make me happy. It's as if my smile brightens up his world.

"He's trying to impress you. Watch him play. He looks at you constantly." He bit into his spoonful of cereal. I hadn't even noticed he made it.

"He's my best friend." I was stuck on that.

He just smiled as he chewed the cereal.

"He can't like me."

"What's not to like?" It wasn't Paul. It was Hanley.

I sat on the swings, avoiding the consequences that I'd face if I went home. I stared towards the playground. No one was out because the sun had already gone down. It was just light enough to see, but the darkness was quickly taking over.

"That's my spot. Fuck off." I knew that voice, so it was easy to identify without looking at him. It was low and stern. He seemed even more frustrated tonight.

"I was here first. Take a different swing."

Kellin advanced towards me, furious, "I'm warning you."

He set the set of beers down, and he was ready to push me off the swing. I snorted, "What are you? Five? You're seriously going to try to push me off the swing?"

He grabbed my wrist tightly. He had already hurt me a while before, so he just squeezed. "Ow, you're hurting me."

"Fuck off," He grunted.

I stood up and pressed myself between his legs. He stared down at me, waiting for me to move. I did the one thing that has been bugging me all day. I leaned up and pressed our lips together. It was a dangerous action, but I craved the feel of his soft, warm lips against my own.

Our lips moved together, and I felt his hands on my shoulder blades, pulling me closer. I softly pulled away, and he quickly took his hands off of me.

I sighed, "I'm not leaving, so you need to grow up and deal with it."

I sat back down onto the swing. I tried to be the peacekeeper between us, as I said, "You can sit here with me," and I pulled a beer away from the rest of the set, and I handed it to him.

He snatched it, "Whatever."

I wanted to ask for his opinion on Hanley, asking if it was okay to try to still be his best friend if he likes me, but I knew I should just keep my mouth shut. My lips were still tingling from when I had kissed him, and I didn't want to screw things up. It just feels so good when we kiss, and I would love to feel it again and again and again.

I heard him snap open the beer, and I watched him gulp it down.

I sighed, and I asked something I've never asked before, "Can I have a sip?"

I was curious. He made it look like it tasted so good, but I've heard just the opposite. I heard it tasted horrible. I've never had it, and it only made me want it. You know that saying that goes along something like you want what you can't have.

"Fuck no." He glared at me.

"Why not?"

I pulled our swings together, after he said, "It's bad for you."

He looked at me, and I quickly pressed our lips together once more. It was lip-on-lip for just a few seconds, and then I pulled away.

I stood up, and I started to walk towards my house. I stopped, turned to face the confused boy on the swings, and I smirked, "It's nice to know that you care about my well-being."