Not A Soul

The sun has disappeared long ago and the moon is now high in the sky. People are already in bed fast asleep, yet here I am, wide awake because of the screams. Just outside my door they’re doing it again, screaming their lungs out at each other.

I can hear the slurs in their words so I know they’re drunk. The sound of skin slapping against skin tells me that he’s hitting her. If I actually gave a damn, I’d help, but I don’t so I listen to her holler at him. I listen to him tell her how useless she is.

Sighing, I look at my clock that reads it is nearing 2 A.M. My eyes feel heavy but I know I cannot sleep. There will always be that slight fear inside my chest, the fear of that monster entering my room and slaughtering me in my sleep, especially during a time like this.

Pushing myself off the bed I go for my window. It’s a small fit but I manage to slip out. The moment my feet touch the ground I head for the one place I know I’ll be safe.

“Kelly…what are you doing?” Curt’s hoarse voice asks after he opens his window. I roll my eyes because of course he’d ask that.

“What does it look like,” I snort, slipping inside and past the boy who is looking far too tempting with nothing but his boxers on. Whatever he’s talking about doesn’t even go to my ears because I am far too busy imagining what he’d be sounding like if I managed to get my hands under those boxers.

Oh yes…the temptation.

“Kellin…are you listening to me?”

“Don’t ever wear just boxers around Hanley.”

Curt stares at me oddly before flushing furiously. I smirk and throw an arm around his waist, pulling him against me so I can clash my lips with his. The shiver I receive coaxes me on. I brush his bottom lip with my tongue, getting immediate access. After I feel I’ve done enough havoc I pull away.

“I uh…so what…why are you here at two in the morning?”

“Why do you think,” I scoff, kicking off my shoes and socks while tearing off my shirt and pants, throwing them in a random pile on Curt’s floor. Speaking of Curt, he’s sputtering something I cannot understand. “I don’t understand idiot.”

Curt whines and I look over my shoulder to see the red tinting of his cheeks. “W-What are you doing? Stop s-stripping!”

“What? I can’t sleep with my boxers on and you can? That’s unfair.” I pull back the blankets and jump in bed. I can feel Curt’s curious gaze on me so I roll onto my back and look at him. He’s standing near the foot of the bed, cheeks flaring fire hydrant red, which makes me grin. “You joining me or are you going to continue to stare like an idiot?”

He jumps and shakes his head, scurrying over to the bed and jumping under the blankets. I roll back onto my side and shut my eyes, only to open them seconds later when I feel something or rather someone curling into my chest.

Looking down at the boy before me I find him with his arms wrapping themselves around my waist and burying his face in my chest. Is he…trying to cuddle or something? So what, am I supposed to hold him now? But…why would I do that?

Whatever, just this once won’t hurt.

~

I sit quietly while Curt and Hanley talk. Yesterday I got me a small scolding so I’m not going to get overly possessive todayalthough Curtie is mine and I will kill Hanley if he tries anything. But as I watch Hanley throw his arm around Curt in a “friendly” hug and I see how big Curt’s smile is, I scowl.

He really likes being affectionate, but I am nothing close to that. Showing affection, doing any type of affection just is not my thing. I don’t hug him often, hold his hand, or just wrap my arms around him while standing still in the hallway.

I don’t know, we just aren’t affectionate with each other or well…I’m not really affectionate with him. So…should I be? I mean, he is with his friends, even if it’s just a hug he seems to be happy with it. To make him happy then…I should kiss him more often, cuddle with him and all that other mushy shit, right?

I groan. And what about dates? Does he expect me to take him our somewhere, like out to eat or movies? I wouldn’t mind going to the movies because it’s an excuse to make out, but even then why should I take him out? I’ll have to pay and buy him stuff. Why should I have to do that?

Because I’m his boyfriend…that’s just a stupid excuse. Can’t we be happy without buying each other things and going out on dates? Can’t we just be in the others presence and be happy with just that?

We don’t need that to be in a relationship. We like each other so why the hell do I have to suffer through being a little girl and do things like cuddling or buying him things? Exactly, I shouldn’t have to. Curt and I should be fine without that shit.

But still…I’m sure that kind of thing would make him happy and when Curt’s happy…I’m happy.

“Kellin, are you coming?”

I search the room for Curt only to find him standing at the door. Everyone but me has gotten up and left. Damn, I spent the entire class period thinking about Curt again. I’m really useless aren’t I?

Grunting, I get to my feet and head to Curt’s side. Wrapping an arm around his waist, I kiss his temple, which he is a bit shocked at, but smiles anyways. And when I pull away the two of us continue on our way to next period withthat fucker Hanley.