Not A Soul

I always loved the classes I shared with Hanley. He might not even realize how fun he is, but I cannot stop laughing whenever he is around. It is as if being around him is some sort of drug that if inhaled, one instantly laughs at all the dumb things he points out.

Hanley was making fun of Becca for asking him if someone could sit on a rainbow, like in the skittles commercial. Hanley and I instantly broke out into laughter. The disruption was definitely wrong, but how could we not laugh?

The teacher shot us a glare, I could almost feel the daggers, but that didn't take away from that awkward feeling I got when Hanley nudged me a few seconds later. "Look who's staring at you."

I looked up, and then back at Hanley, "You've got to be kidding me."
"I could almost see the drool, Curtie."

Does that mean he does remember me?

I didn't really know what to think.

"Did you just call me 'Curtie'?"

Hanley laughed and nodded, "I couldn't help it. I'm fascinated with your name, and I'm determined to give you a cute nickname."

I rolled my eyes.

As much as I wanted to pay attention, there were two things stopping me. One, Hanley kept adding letters to my name. Two, I couldn't stop thinking about how Kellin was staring at me.

School let out, and I still couldn't get Kellin off my mind. I started walking home, after I waved goodbye to my friends, and I let my mind wonder off.

If Kellin was honestly staring at me, was it because he thought I wouldn't still be living here? Or maybe because he seriously regretted letting me in on his background? He seems so different, and I know that I wouldn't be able to go up and talk to him now. He didn't want to keep in contact, so why should I want to figure out how he's managing? I never told a word to anyone, but I never really thought he would ever come back. It's some what easier keeping things from the world, when you don't think you'll see that person again.

Sometimes I hate getting lost in my thoughts. My mind just tunes everything out, my finger plays with the small loop in my nose, and I can't focus on the world around me.

I walk inside, barely noticing, and I slump down on the couch.

This is really going to bug me.