Lies and Broken Smiles
12
"Cali! Wake up!" My sister Jessica yells shaking me gently.
"What?" I ask yawning
"Phone is for you."
"Hello?" I say taking the phone from Jessica
"Come over!" Yells Alice into my ear
"Why right now?" I ask
"Because we have to make plans."
"About?"
"The pool party duh!" She says
"Summer is still a month away." I point out
"Soooooooooo you gotta help me pick out a cute outfit"
"Fine I'll be there in like an hour."
"Why do I have to wait so long!" She whines
"Because I need to have a shower and get dressed." I say sitting up and stretching
"Okay then I'll see you soon." She says hanging up
I jump in the shower but not before weighing myself.
95 pounds.
For some reason I'm feeling positive.
Right now my positive mood says to try and beat this eating disorder. A battle is going on inside my head.
One part says
"Work on getting better you can do it!"
The the other side says
"No you fatty! You just want to give up so you can stuff your fat face!"
I wonder if the good side of me will ever win?
I get dressed and I decide to try and listen to the good part of my brain for once, I pour myself a bowl of cereal.
Mmmmmmm coco pebbles.
I stare at it
"You can do it Cali! It's easy!"
I lift the spoon to my mouth and chew the cereal. I repeat this process a few times before it gets to much and I give up.
I get up and call out to the house
"I'm going to Alice's house!"
"All right sweetie." My mum comes into the living room "I'll see you soon." She smiles and
gives me a hug
I arrive at Alice's house and everybody is there.
"What took you so long!" She yells out
"I had to get ready you woke me up!" I smile and hug her
"Naw you lazy person." She laughs and hugs me back
"I want to go shopping to pick out a new bathing suit I need to look good."
"You look good in everything you already own."
"Well then I'll need to look better." She says
"Come on we should all get hot outfits!" Says Julie
"I don't have any money." I say looking down
"It's okay I'll buy you something."
"No I won't let you!" I say
"Fine at least try clothes on with us." Julie says
"You just wanted me to come over for the car." I joke
"Of course duh!" Alice laughs
We arrive at the mall a while later
"Forever 21 here I come!" Yells out Alice
"I thought you wanted a bathing suit?"
"Well what fun is that when you don't have a cute outfit as well, don't you wanna impress that Dante boy?" She teases
"N-no I don't even like him like that." I say
"Haha it's writen all over your face. YOU like him!" Julie says
"We're just friends."
He'll never like you when you eat so much!
What happened to being positive.
We walk into Forever 21 and next thing I know my arms are full of clothes
"Try them on Cali!" Julie pushes me to a dressing room
"I feel like this was a plan to make me try on clothes."
"Of course not!" Says Alice but she makes it obvious she's lying
"Alice!" I say
"Oh come on Dante is cute and we know you like him!" She says
"It doesn't matter. He'll forget about me anyways." I mumble
"Oh shut up Cali. He could never forget about you!" Says Alice "Hurry and show us your clothes.
I walk out of the change room.
I have on a pair of jeans.
My opinion: They make me look fat.
Friends opinion: They make my butt look 'cute'
I have a blue top on with a design by the breast.
My opinion: My hips are huge!
Friends opinion: You're so tiny and look great
This happens with most of my outfits.
Finally Alice buys a few and I get to 'borrow' them.
"Now wear this to school next week, and Dante will be speechless!" Alice says
The clothes are laid out on her bed in little outfits.
"I don't know!" I say fidgeting
"Of course you'll wear it! And you're sleeping over today with Julie so we can make you
perfect!" Says Alice
"Woof woof."
Alice and Julie give me weird looks
"Well you're ordering me around like a dog so I might as well act like one." I joke.
"What?" I ask yawning
"Phone is for you."
"Hello?" I say taking the phone from Jessica
"Come over!" Yells Alice into my ear
"Why right now?" I ask
"Because we have to make plans."
"About?"
"The pool party duh!" She says
"Summer is still a month away." I point out
"Soooooooooo you gotta help me pick out a cute outfit"
"Fine I'll be there in like an hour."
"Why do I have to wait so long!" She whines
"Because I need to have a shower and get dressed." I say sitting up and stretching
"Okay then I'll see you soon." She says hanging up
I jump in the shower but not before weighing myself.
95 pounds.
For some reason I'm feeling positive.
Right now my positive mood says to try and beat this eating disorder. A battle is going on inside my head.
One part says
"Work on getting better you can do it!"
The the other side says
"No you fatty! You just want to give up so you can stuff your fat face!"
I wonder if the good side of me will ever win?
I get dressed and I decide to try and listen to the good part of my brain for once, I pour myself a bowl of cereal.
Mmmmmmm coco pebbles.
I stare at it
"You can do it Cali! It's easy!"
I lift the spoon to my mouth and chew the cereal. I repeat this process a few times before it gets to much and I give up.
I get up and call out to the house
"I'm going to Alice's house!"
"All right sweetie." My mum comes into the living room "I'll see you soon." She smiles and
gives me a hug
I arrive at Alice's house and everybody is there.
"What took you so long!" She yells out
"I had to get ready you woke me up!" I smile and hug her
"Naw you lazy person." She laughs and hugs me back
"I want to go shopping to pick out a new bathing suit I need to look good."
"You look good in everything you already own."
"Well then I'll need to look better." She says
"Come on we should all get hot outfits!" Says Julie
"I don't have any money." I say looking down
"It's okay I'll buy you something."
"No I won't let you!" I say
"Fine at least try clothes on with us." Julie says
"You just wanted me to come over for the car." I joke
"Of course duh!" Alice laughs
We arrive at the mall a while later
"Forever 21 here I come!" Yells out Alice
"I thought you wanted a bathing suit?"
"Well what fun is that when you don't have a cute outfit as well, don't you wanna impress that Dante boy?" She teases
"N-no I don't even like him like that." I say
"Haha it's writen all over your face. YOU like him!" Julie says
"We're just friends."
He'll never like you when you eat so much!
What happened to being positive.
We walk into Forever 21 and next thing I know my arms are full of clothes
"Try them on Cali!" Julie pushes me to a dressing room
"I feel like this was a plan to make me try on clothes."
"Of course not!" Says Alice but she makes it obvious she's lying
"Alice!" I say
"Oh come on Dante is cute and we know you like him!" She says
"It doesn't matter. He'll forget about me anyways." I mumble
"Oh shut up Cali. He could never forget about you!" Says Alice "Hurry and show us your clothes.
I walk out of the change room.
I have on a pair of jeans.
My opinion: They make me look fat.
Friends opinion: They make my butt look 'cute'
I have a blue top on with a design by the breast.
My opinion: My hips are huge!
Friends opinion: You're so tiny and look great
This happens with most of my outfits.
Finally Alice buys a few and I get to 'borrow' them.
"Now wear this to school next week, and Dante will be speechless!" Alice says
The clothes are laid out on her bed in little outfits.
"I don't know!" I say fidgeting
"Of course you'll wear it! And you're sleeping over today with Julie so we can make you
perfect!" Says Alice
"Woof woof."
Alice and Julie give me weird looks
"Well you're ordering me around like a dog so I might as well act like one." I joke.