Lies and Broken Smiles
27
I'm sitting in a chair my heart thumping around in my chest, my breaths shaky.
They got me they really did it. They are trying to take IT away from me.
I'm at a consellors office. I told them I don't need it.
"Hello, you must be Calista."
A woman with long black hair and bright green eyes comes out she is smiling and she is beautiful.
I nod my head, I can't speak suddenly.
"You can come on in." She smiles and gestures towards her office
I look back at my mum I don't wanna go I feel like a little girl.
"I'll be right here waiting." She says
I drag myself out of the chair and towards her office. She then closes the door and we are
alone. She motions towards the chair meaning I should sit, so I do and then she does.
"I'm Chloe Green." She holds out her hand and I shake it
"So whats on your mind Calista?" She ask
"Nothing," I tug at my hair
"There has to be something on your mind, anything bothering you?"
"I don't need to be here."
"You're mother tells me you aren't eating and you look underweight." She says straight up
"I'm NOT underweight I'm massive!" Why can nobody see that? Why are the all so blind I'm hideous.
"How long has this been going on for?" She ask ignoring my outburst.
"I don't know about 4 or 5 years." I mumble
"Would you consider getting a check up? To see how much damage you've done to your body?" I look at her
"I guess."
"That's great, well there is this really good eating disorder specialist only two cities away
would you consider going there, they are great."
"That's kinnda far."
"Lets ask mum, if that's okay with you." She ask.
"Alright." I tug again at my hair a couple of strands fall into my hand and I quickly release them to the floor.
"What is it?" My mother ask "Is everything okay?"
"Yes everything is fine, just thought maybe Calista should get a check up to see what kind of damage she's done to her body. I have a very good eating disorder specialist, they live two cities away if you don't mind driving that way."
"Of course I don't mind, I just want my little girl to be alright."
I roll my eyes, never cared before.
A few days pass and I'm triggred by the physical I have comming up, I must be thin then, I have to be, I go out as much as I can to get away from everybody else. I can't deal with this I hate it I must be thin I'll fast for 10 days until my physical, then I'll be thin enough, and so I do.
Untill they notice I force a bean and cheese burrito down my fat face feeling disgusting every and crying over it, but I have to make them happy, it's always about them.
Before I know it, its time for my physical.
They got me they really did it. They are trying to take IT away from me.
I'm at a consellors office. I told them I don't need it.
"Hello, you must be Calista."
A woman with long black hair and bright green eyes comes out she is smiling and she is beautiful.
I nod my head, I can't speak suddenly.
"You can come on in." She smiles and gestures towards her office
I look back at my mum I don't wanna go I feel like a little girl.
"I'll be right here waiting." She says
I drag myself out of the chair and towards her office. She then closes the door and we are
alone. She motions towards the chair meaning I should sit, so I do and then she does.
"I'm Chloe Green." She holds out her hand and I shake it
"So whats on your mind Calista?" She ask
"Nothing," I tug at my hair
"There has to be something on your mind, anything bothering you?"
"I don't need to be here."
"You're mother tells me you aren't eating and you look underweight." She says straight up
"I'm NOT underweight I'm massive!" Why can nobody see that? Why are the all so blind I'm hideous.
"How long has this been going on for?" She ask ignoring my outburst.
"I don't know about 4 or 5 years." I mumble
"Would you consider getting a check up? To see how much damage you've done to your body?" I look at her
"I guess."
"That's great, well there is this really good eating disorder specialist only two cities away
would you consider going there, they are great."
"That's kinnda far."
"Lets ask mum, if that's okay with you." She ask.
"Alright." I tug again at my hair a couple of strands fall into my hand and I quickly release them to the floor.
"What is it?" My mother ask "Is everything okay?"
"Yes everything is fine, just thought maybe Calista should get a check up to see what kind of damage she's done to her body. I have a very good eating disorder specialist, they live two cities away if you don't mind driving that way."
"Of course I don't mind, I just want my little girl to be alright."
I roll my eyes, never cared before.
A few days pass and I'm triggred by the physical I have comming up, I must be thin then, I have to be, I go out as much as I can to get away from everybody else. I can't deal with this I hate it I must be thin I'll fast for 10 days until my physical, then I'll be thin enough, and so I do.
Untill they notice I force a bean and cheese burrito down my fat face feeling disgusting every and crying over it, but I have to make them happy, it's always about them.
Before I know it, its time for my physical.