Lies and Broken Smiles

"Cali!" Jessica my sister called out as she burst into my room.

"What?" I yelled, my voice evil

"Jeez calm down." She smiles and sits down next to me "My friends and I are going shopping do you want to come?"

"No." I say

She sighs and then gives me a quick look. "You can't stay in this room forever." She says
It's true I can't I've been in thishouse room for three weeks I don't want to go out, I don't deserve to go out.
I stand up as black dots come to invade my sight and my head floats up the clouds I try not to show it as I wait for my sight to clear and my head to come back down.

"Are you alright?" Jessica ask

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I say

She waits for a moment concern clear in her eyes, before she leaves and closes the door behind her.
I walk up to my door and lock it I don't need anymore people barging in.

Sometimes I seriously consider taking a knife and vacuum and sitting in my room and performing at home liposuction, maybe I'll put some towels on the ground so if there's blood it won't be messy.
The smart me says no don't be stupid, that's horrible. The disordered side says yes do it, it's wonderful, the best idea you've ever thought of.
The smart side wins so I stick to starving it's the only thing I'm good at, and even then I still fail.

At the last minute I deiced to go out. I hate that me and my sister have the same friends. They were my friends first and then my sister got friendly with them, they like her better, and it's true, it's not me feeling sorry for myself it's really the truth, but then again who could like such a fat, disgusting, ugly, worthless, girl? No one that's who.
After being out for a few hours, I deicide to walk home it's not to far away, I start to feel dizzy I push myself to go on until the world starts to spin faster, I want to get off this merry-go-round, there's nothing merry about it.

"Whoa are you okay?" I hear a males voice I whip my head up and look at him trying to focus which just makes things worse

"Yea I'm fine."I lie I'm so use to lying.

"Are you lying?" He ask with a smirk

"No." I say annoyed just leave me alone

"Uh huh sure. I'm not leaving til you tell me whats wrong."

"I'm fucking dizzy there you happy." I start walking again

"Come on." I feel his arms wrap around me "There's a bench close by you can sit there."

He's right there is a bench he instructs me to sit with my head between my knees apparently it's mean to help.

"You feeling better?" He ask after a while.

"Yea." I'm not really but I figure it's better to say yes then no. I sit back up and look at him.

"You look familiar." I say I can focus better, where have I seen him before?

"Yea we go to the same school." He says

"Oh sorry. I'm Cali."

"Yea I know, I'm Dante."

"Oh sorry." I say suddenly feeling bad for not knowing this guy
He lets out a chuckle "What are you sorry for?"

His blue eyes piercing my green ones.

"I just feel bad." I said slowly not sure what to say.

He laughed again "Let me walk you home or get you something to eat." He offered

"No no it's okay I really should be getting home it's close by I'll be okay."

He looked at his watch. "It's only seven." He said

"Strict mum." I smile

"Alright I'll see you later." He smile and helped me up.

"Definitely, I'll see you later." I smiled and walked on