Lies and Broken Smiles
31
I've just gotten back from my interview with Macaronni Grill, ED monster of course is there telling
me I've failed, I'm to fat to get the job, that doesn't even make sense but that is what I'm told.
"How did your interview go?" Ask Jessica, I'm surpised after how bad I've treated her she is still nice to me.
"I don't know." I say
"I'm sure you've got it." She smiles at me
"I'm sorry, for being so mean lately." I said softly, I hate apologizing.
"Its fine, you know I just care about you."
I felt much better after getting that out. I realize a lot of things the ED has destroyed in my life, it messed up my relationships with people.
I figured its time to tell Dante he should know so I call him up and we go to the park.
We sit down at the swings and at first I'm quiet how will he react? Will he dump me?
"You said you wanted to talk about something?" Dante says worry clear in his voice
"Yea, I'm just gonna say it."
"Okay."
I take a deep breath and "igotaneatingdisorder." I say as quick as I can
"You're gonna have to slow that down Cali." He says
"I.... I have an eating disorder." I say, I can't look him in the eye.
He silent for a few moments, which makes me regret saying it
"How long?" He ask
"I don't know, a few years." My heart is pounding in my chest, ED monster is screaming in my head, telling me I've failed. I should not have told anyone.
"Its alright." He gets up and hugs me "You shouldn't be so worried about telling me these things, I
care about you, no matter what, I just hope you get better." He says kissing me lightly on the forehead. I give a little smile, relieved.
"I am trying to get better." I say
"Good." He smiles and takes my hand pulling me up off the bench we've been sitting on.
We go for a walk talking about anything and everything.
Time really does go by fast when I'm with him, but the day isn't over yet and I still have one more person I need to tell so I tell Dante I need to go and head over to Alices house.
"Hey Alice," I say as she anwsers the door.
"Hi Cali," She smiles and gives me a hug. "What do you need?" Alice ask letting me inside.
"I got something I want to tell you, but you can't tell anyone!" I say "Promise."
"You know you can trust me." She says.
She sits on the couch and I make sure no one is around, when I'm sure its safe I sit down next to her and tell her.
"I have an eating disorder." I said with a bit of confidence after how Dante reacted
"What?"
"You can't tell anyone!" I said quickly
"Oh Cali, I didn't even know." She said softly "What about Julie?"
"She doesn't know, and I don't wanna tell her yet." I say
"I won't tell her, but why are you telling me suddenly?" She ask
"I'm trying to get better and my therapist says I need a support group."
"Oh well, I'll definetly support you in that." She smiles and gives me a hug
"Thanks Alice." I say relieaved.
I know I can do this, I know I can.
Some days are hard, some days feel impossible. The behaviours are hard to correct but as long as I don't give up thats what matters.
I will surround myself with people that support me and understand or try to and as long as I have them I can do anything, one step at a time.
me I've failed, I'm to fat to get the job, that doesn't even make sense but that is what I'm told.
"How did your interview go?" Ask Jessica, I'm surpised after how bad I've treated her she is still nice to me.
"I don't know." I say
"I'm sure you've got it." She smiles at me
"I'm sorry, for being so mean lately." I said softly, I hate apologizing.
"Its fine, you know I just care about you."
I felt much better after getting that out. I realize a lot of things the ED has destroyed in my life, it messed up my relationships with people.
I figured its time to tell Dante he should know so I call him up and we go to the park.
We sit down at the swings and at first I'm quiet how will he react? Will he dump me?
"You said you wanted to talk about something?" Dante says worry clear in his voice
"Yea, I'm just gonna say it."
"Okay."
I take a deep breath and "igotaneatingdisorder." I say as quick as I can
"You're gonna have to slow that down Cali." He says
"I.... I have an eating disorder." I say, I can't look him in the eye.
He silent for a few moments, which makes me regret saying it
"How long?" He ask
"I don't know, a few years." My heart is pounding in my chest, ED monster is screaming in my head, telling me I've failed. I should not have told anyone.
"Its alright." He gets up and hugs me "You shouldn't be so worried about telling me these things, I
care about you, no matter what, I just hope you get better." He says kissing me lightly on the forehead. I give a little smile, relieved.
"I am trying to get better." I say
"Good." He smiles and takes my hand pulling me up off the bench we've been sitting on.
We go for a walk talking about anything and everything.
Time really does go by fast when I'm with him, but the day isn't over yet and I still have one more person I need to tell so I tell Dante I need to go and head over to Alices house.
"Hey Alice," I say as she anwsers the door.
"Hi Cali," She smiles and gives me a hug. "What do you need?" Alice ask letting me inside.
"I got something I want to tell you, but you can't tell anyone!" I say "Promise."
"You know you can trust me." She says.
She sits on the couch and I make sure no one is around, when I'm sure its safe I sit down next to her and tell her.
"I have an eating disorder." I said with a bit of confidence after how Dante reacted
"What?"
"You can't tell anyone!" I said quickly
"Oh Cali, I didn't even know." She said softly "What about Julie?"
"She doesn't know, and I don't wanna tell her yet." I say
"I won't tell her, but why are you telling me suddenly?" She ask
"I'm trying to get better and my therapist says I need a support group."
"Oh well, I'll definetly support you in that." She smiles and gives me a hug
"Thanks Alice." I say relieaved.
I know I can do this, I know I can.
Some days are hard, some days feel impossible. The behaviours are hard to correct but as long as I don't give up thats what matters.
I will surround myself with people that support me and understand or try to and as long as I have them I can do anything, one step at a time.
♠ ♠ ♠
The End. I hope you all enjoyed.