Status: Eeekk. i need to catch up
Dear Diary
12-12-10
Dear Diary,
Well life has been... hell, i should say.
You ask why?
Well, it's like this..
You and one of your "best friends" like the same guy. That's already bad enough. But when he chooses between you? Someone is going to get hurt either way. So, he chooses you. Your happy and nothing could ruin your day. That is, until choir class. You talk to your "best friend" and find out that he never really liked you. Your in denial. You think "she's just saying out of anger because he chose me." You make yourself believe that and just keep on smilin'. But, it starts to bug you and you wonder if that really is true. Half your friends are saying "She's just lying, don't worry about it, he loves you." The other half are saying "Dumb his sorry ass." You really don't know what to do. you text him the whole story and ask if its true. As your waiting for him to respond there's a million questions running through your head. But, when you read that it is true, your hearts sinks and your on the bathroom floor in school balling. You just can't help it. You weren't good enough and your heart is in a million pieces. You fight with him and keep fighting. It's worthless. You get back to class with everyone staring at you because they can tell you were just crying. He says he's sorry to you over a million times it seems like. You dump him and he says "I said yes for a reason. I love you." Your pissed now. After all that and the guy still loves you? You don't talk to him. You find out about a week later that him and your "best friend" are dating. Again, you run to the bathroom and cry. You cry and cry and cry. You think, "How can this happen to me? Why me?!?! I don't deserve this!" You also start to wonder why you keep setting yourself up to get hurt. You fight with this guy that you love and deserve to be with, more and more and more. You can't help it though, everything you've thought of, you just tell him. Fighting all day and he says to you "I still love you as a girlfriend, but i love her more." That's it. That's all it takes for you to break. You don't talk the same all day. Your friends ask "What's wrong? Is it because of Josiah?" You respond with "no" because just hearing his name makes you want to cry.
So all is not so well for your life so far. Then you get on facebook and see one of his status's that say something about him being a player. You can't help it. You comment saying "You are a player" Then, this guy that you've put everything for calls you a "fake ass bitch." Your heart sinks and you cry. Again. More and more. You think "how much more can you take?" You fight with this guy what seems like foreverrrrrr. Then he just says "Can we forget about his whole fight, and go back to normal?" You just stare at your computer screen. How can someone just do ALLLL of that and say that? You reply with "No we can't. I'm tired of people fucking up and asking me to take them back." You let him go. Sooner or later you'll regret it. Lets just hope, it's later.
Well life has been... hell, i should say.
You ask why?
Well, it's like this..
You and one of your "best friends" like the same guy. That's already bad enough. But when he chooses between you? Someone is going to get hurt either way. So, he chooses you. Your happy and nothing could ruin your day. That is, until choir class. You talk to your "best friend" and find out that he never really liked you. Your in denial. You think "she's just saying out of anger because he chose me." You make yourself believe that and just keep on smilin'. But, it starts to bug you and you wonder if that really is true. Half your friends are saying "She's just lying, don't worry about it, he loves you." The other half are saying "Dumb his sorry ass." You really don't know what to do. you text him the whole story and ask if its true. As your waiting for him to respond there's a million questions running through your head. But, when you read that it is true, your hearts sinks and your on the bathroom floor in school balling. You just can't help it. You weren't good enough and your heart is in a million pieces. You fight with him and keep fighting. It's worthless. You get back to class with everyone staring at you because they can tell you were just crying. He says he's sorry to you over a million times it seems like. You dump him and he says "I said yes for a reason. I love you." Your pissed now. After all that and the guy still loves you? You don't talk to him. You find out about a week later that him and your "best friend" are dating. Again, you run to the bathroom and cry. You cry and cry and cry. You think, "How can this happen to me? Why me?!?! I don't deserve this!" You also start to wonder why you keep setting yourself up to get hurt. You fight with this guy that you love and deserve to be with, more and more and more. You can't help it though, everything you've thought of, you just tell him. Fighting all day and he says to you "I still love you as a girlfriend, but i love her more." That's it. That's all it takes for you to break. You don't talk the same all day. Your friends ask "What's wrong? Is it because of Josiah?" You respond with "no" because just hearing his name makes you want to cry.
So all is not so well for your life so far. Then you get on facebook and see one of his status's that say something about him being a player. You can't help it. You comment saying "You are a player" Then, this guy that you've put everything for calls you a "fake ass bitch." Your heart sinks and you cry. Again. More and more. You think "how much more can you take?" You fight with this guy what seems like foreverrrrrr. Then he just says "Can we forget about his whole fight, and go back to normal?" You just stare at your computer screen. How can someone just do ALLLL of that and say that? You reply with "No we can't. I'm tired of people fucking up and asking me to take them back." You let him go. Sooner or later you'll regret it. Lets just hope, it's later.