I'm Not Letting Go

5 Years later, Present Time.
November 20th 2013

(Pete)

So here I am five years later, celebrating Bronx’s fifth birthday with a bunch of his friends from kindergarten. There was also a bunch of adults there, but they didn’t interest me. All they talked about was money and politics, and that was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

I’m 35 years and an aging musician; not a lot of people understand me.

But Ashlee seemed right at home.

Making the perfect housewife

Over the last few years, we’ve grown a lot closer.

Now we were discussing having another kid, but that’s a big maybe.

But I finally stopped thinking of her as not Dakota, and that was really important for our relationship.

I hadn’t talked to Dakota since Panic’s Cd release party about two years ago.
I missed her, but it was useless.

She was, surprisingly, still with Brendon. They were still not married.

They were happy, whatever.

So I’m sitting here playing with Bronx, we’re about to eat cake shortly.

Ashlee had planned everything perfectly. She even let the band come so I wouldn’t go completely insane.

She planned the party to a Jungle Book theme, seeing as that’s why he had the middle name Mowgli, and it kinda was his favorite movie.

Everything was going perfectly planned than that door bell rang.

(Dakota)

I hadn’t seen Pete in two years, and it felt right.

I felt free. I still hadn’t married Brendon, and we hadn’t had sex in what felt like forever, but it was okay because we’re not fighting anymore, and that’s what really mattered.

We lived in some beach house in Venice, California. We were comfortable.

I think we stopped fighting because we weren’t around Pete and Ashlee anymore, and I couldn't make bad comments anymore, and then Brendon wouldn’t ask why I made that comment, and that would cause a never ending fight.

Today was Bronx’s birthday. Of course we weren’t invited to his birthday party. I hadn’t seen since he was born. Besides that I had only ever seen Bronx from afar, in Christmas cards and on the cover of magazines. It’s not as if I expected to get invited to his birthday party or anything. But I at least expected to be able to see the kid occasionally.

But here Brendon I was sitting on the couch, just enjoying each other’s company, watching the random Sunday movie.

Right when I could tell Brendon’s going start a serious conversation with me, the phone starts to ring.

I answered the phone quickly.

“Hello”

“Hey Dakota, it’s Patrick” like Patrick Patrick

“Stump?”

He let out a soft sigh “Yes”

“Oh sorry, I just haven’t talked to you in like forever and I’ve kind of have forgotten…”

“Dakota, please stop rambling. This is an emergency.”

“Oh, okay, well what happened?”

“Just get here as fast as you can. We’re at Cedar Sinai Hospital.”

“Okay, I’ll get there soon.”

“Just… please hurry. Bye.”

“Bye Pat”

I turned to Brendon, “We need to go to the hospital.”
---
We quickly arrived to the hospital.

I held Brendon the whole ride there.

This was the first time I’ve been so nervous in a long time.

We pulled in the parking lot and I texted Patrick.

We got out of the car and then I clang right back onto Brendon. I was nervous.

I hadn’t held Brendon like this in a long time. But I needed him.

I saw Patrick approaching us slowly. His eyes were puffy and red.

He had been crying.

“Hey Dakota” he said pulling me into a hug.

“Hey Brendon” shaking his hand.

He stepped back and took a deep breath

“Dakota, I don’t know if I can say it, I guess I’ll just show you.” He said quietly, lead us into the hospital, through hallways and in elevators.

We finally go to a room, where the rest of Fall Out Boy was looking their saddest.

Then I realized, they were one short of Fall Out Boy.
Pete.

I immediately began to tear up.

Patrick looked over at me, knowing I noticed.

“You wanna see him?” he whispered

“Of course.”

“Come on, he’s down the hall, in post-op, not quite awake.”

“Alright, Brendon I’ll see you in minute” I said quietly kissing him on the lips softly.

I followed Pat down another few hallways, and then I went and a room and I saw him and immediate broke down.

My Pete was hooked up to about a million machines.

“Patrick why is he here?” I barely choked out in between sobs.

“He did it again.” He sniffling back tears of his own.

“But why would he do that? He promised never to again after the last time.” I said.

I remember the promise Pete swore to me after this happen so many years ago.

“I know, but when Braxton came to the house today, and then said all that stuff. He just broke down and ran for the bathroom and took this medicine.”

“Wait, Braxton, what?”

“The guy who is Bronx’s real dad; the guy Ashlee cheated on him with.”

I just sat in silence.

“He came to Bronx’s birthday party, demanding to see Bronx, after finding out about him and knowing that it was his son. Pete flipped out, asked Ashlee if it was true, and of course she said yes.”

“You think you could give me a minute here alone with him?”

“Of course” he nodded, giving me a hug.

“Thanks for, ya know, everything. Just, where is the she?”

Patrick let out a laugh, “At home, cleaning up after Pete and watching Bronx.”

“Cleaning up?” I questioned.

“Well before Pete ran into the bathroom, he threw some stuff around, a couple picture frames that had pictures of them. He also screamed yelled a lot of some not so nice words in the presence of Bronx, all his friends, and all their parents.” Patrick explained.

“Wow. Well at least this time he didn’t punch anybody’s car window.” I stated sarcastically.

“That just cause there wasn’t any around” a voice mumbled behind me.