I'm Not Letting Go

(Dakota)

So her name was Jeanae.

Yeah that one.

The one where you probably know the sloppy ending to.

But she wasn’t that bad in the beginning, even though I made it out to be the opposite.

I would refuse to be around them for too long.

But when Pete asked me if I wanted to go out on warped tour with the band, of course I wanted at the opportunity, thinking I'd finally have my boys back. The only downside was, all day they were gone, and I was left with her.

And all bashing aside, Jeanae’s not bad at all, but because of what she did, I’ll never think of her the same.

But warped tour ended up being one the best/worst things ever for me, because that’s when I met Frank, Frank Iero. Yupp, the hot one from My Chemical Romance, who were also on warped tour. I met one night, and he was like the coolest guy, just like chill and really hot to boot.

We started hanging out more and more. Eventually we started going out. I didn’t do it to piss off Pete, which was the reason for all my previous “relationships”, I did this time because I genially liked Frank.

Which turned into love, and we all knows what happens with love.

(Pete)

We(me mostly begging) asked her on tour.

Dakota, of course.

Jeanae I asked because, well if she wasn’t there’d be nothing stopping me from being with Dakota. Everything was fine; I played and then spent the rest of the time with Jeanae. No problems, I even got to hang out with the guys and Dakota, even though I knew she hated every second of it, because Jeanae was with me and not her.

But it didn’t take her very long to find some guy to be with. I think about three weeks. I wasn’t surprised with her choice; he reminded me a lot of myself. Even down to his haircut.

I remember when she introduced me to him. She made him seem all perfect, and I guess in sense I was glad she wasn’t gonna be moping around wishing Jeanae was dead, but it kinda hurt to see her happy with someone else.

Patrick kept telling me “You can’t have it both ways, make the girl jealous and expect her not to move and find someone else.”

Then I would yell something about not wanting to make her jealous and liking her.

But it was obvious to everyone Dakota, that I was in love with her since day one.

(Dakota)

Frank was awesome. He more than made he forget Pete, but he made me like him for than just a distraction. He was everything I wasn’t, beautiful, funny, confident, poetic, perfect. Bu t I stop there, because it’s starting to sound like Pete too much.

I remember after warped ended, everything, surprisingly, was still perfect. Frank moved in, and I was finally happy in Chicago with not Pete.

But Pete on the other hand, his life was about to go down the tubes, only to make mine go down with it.

(Pete)

Well, she was happy. I guess, looking back at that time, it’s the only good thing about it. It was after warped.

We went on tour again, but this time international, because we were finally getting big.

Jeanae needed to stay this time, it was too much for, and I felt like I needed a break honestly, not that I didn’t want to be with her at all hours, just to make myself not think of Dakota, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be around anyone, especially someone I loved.

I remember the day I came back.

None of my friends from home would look me in the eye, and Chris, our best friend and biggest fan since forever, wouldn’t talk to me or anything.

Later that night when I went to Jeanae’s I found out why. To say I was pissed to put it lightly. I even punched her car window.

The worst thing about it all was that everyone knew, and didn’t tell me.

Those were my worse months.

But Dakota was always there.

Whether Frank, who she was still suprisingly with, wanted her there or not.

She helped me even after the Ativan episode. After that, I knew she would always be there, even if not the way I wanted.

(Dakota)

She broke his heart
real shocker there
she was the type

With his best friends and everything but whatever.

I decided to help him get over it, rather than go punch her brain, like she needed more brain damage. She just broke the most perfect man’s heart.

I remember everything little conversation we had, just laying on his bed.

I also remember every single fight me and Frank had during this time.

And I remember Pete saying “It’s okay… I mean if it’s gonna start something with Frank then don’t come.”

But how could I not go, he needed me, and I knew I needed him.

plus, he was my Pete again.

Frank thought that every time I was going over there we were hooking up.

But it was farthest thing from it.
I ate dinner with him and his parents, then watch a movie, mostly Nightmare Before Christmas, and feel asleep on one of his twin beds, woke up at like one in morning and drove home, leaving him a note on the rare occasion he was actually asleep.

I would do the same thing all weekend long, returning to work during the week. I was a waitress, it made enough to make through the month, with or without Frank.

But one Sunday was different, I came home and Frank wasn’t asleep, but he definitely was in bed