Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Dulaney High School was meant to be a place to learn, to gain social skills, friends, and obtain goals that would be useful later on in future careers and work paths, much like any high school in the United States, or anywhere in the world for that matter. I, for one, had achieved most of this throughout my stay in Lutherville, Maryland; everything was going so well for me, and I just hoped it would continue on that path for a while.

Too bad I was confused about a certain Alex Gaskarth.

The school was pulled into my immediate vision as my sister parked the car and stepped out into the cold air. I soon followed, throwing my backpack over my shoulder and slamming the car door shut with a resounding whack. All eyes of our friends turned with smiles on their lips as choruses of our names and welcomes made their way into our ears.
I couldn't help but smile, walking toward the group as Melanie embraced me in a hug.

“How's it feel to be back to good 'ole Dulaney again?” She asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as Bailey hugged Jack.

I shrugged, “I feel like the new girl again.” I admitted, pushing myself away from the darker brunette and toward Kara and Rian. I hugged both, earning an extra cheeky smile from Rian, and beginning to make my way around the small group in order to hug every single person.

“Better question,” Jack said as I stood in front of him. I raised an eyebrow, “How does it feel to be back at Dulaney the weekend after you shamelessly kissed at a party?” My eyes widened and a crimson blush found its way onto my cheeks. The group snickered at my reaction as my eyes traveled over to the boy standing a foot away from me, his hood over his disheveled hair as a similar tint of red formed on his face as well.

“Shut up, Jack.” Alex mumbled, tightening his grip on the strap of his backpack. Finally, his eyes met mine and I could feel myself physically weakening.

Up until that point, I had tried to keep up a tough exterior where I made it seem that I was built with a brick wall of defense around me. Alex had been the one from the beginning to find the smallest of cracks and forced himself in. He made me break down those walls chunk by chunk and with one glance, they came tumbling down.

I could feel the awkward tension surrounding the group as Alex and I stared at each other; we hadn't talked to the other since the party and that had been on Saturday...today was Monday. Of course the group had gotten together, but I hadn't gotten a single idea about how to approach Alex about the situation at hand. For once in my life, I was completely and utterly...speechless.

After a few moments of just staring into each others eyes, I heard a loud groan from my right, “Oh my God, just hug or something already!” Melanie shouted before I felt a firm pair of hands push me into Alex's torso.

There was a small 'oof'' before we realized that we were very close to the other. I had never felt more awkward in my entire life. Finally, Alex's arms wrapped around me in a small hug which I hesitantly responded to.

“Okay, that's enough PDA for now.” Jack yelled, pulling the two of us apart as the bell rang in the distance, warning us to get to class before we were marked as tardy.

“Get your fucking lunch! I'm fucking starved!” Melanie yelled as I scrambled through my locker for my lunch money. After successfully pulling it out from behind my science notebook, I slammed the door shut, lacing the lock through the hole before turning back to my friend.

“Okay, two things: One, I needed to find my lunch money so stop PMSing and two, you're starting to become Jack with your obsessive use of the f-bomb.”

“You love it.” Melanie replied, childishly sticking her tongue out at me as we continued down the hall towards the cafeteria.

“I do. Let's get married.” I joked, as Melanie grinned, shaking her head as we walked into the crowded cafe, thousands upon thousands of students bustling around for tables and friends.

“No can do partner,” Melanie replied as she pulled me into the line of kids getting food, elbowing a few to get to the front as she began piling food onto her tray, “I think a certain Gaskarth would be very disappointed in not having you all to himself.”

A small blush crept onto my cheeks as I piled some food for myself on the Styrofoam tray, grabbing a bottle of water before following Melanie out towards the table where the rest of the group sat.

“Melanie...shut up.” The brunette chuckled as she plopped her tray down next to Jack, his immediate reaction was to wrap an arm around her shoulders and steal one her many fries.

“What's up party people?” A familiar voice shouted, the many others in the group chorusing back a greeting as the lanky boy sat himself next to me in the empty seat on my left.

“Yeah, Alex, you sure did have some great fun at that party last Saturday, didn't you?” Jack smirked, stealing another one of Melanie's fries as he looked between myself and Alex.
The rest of the group snickered as the air between myself and Alex thickened, as well as the growing blush on my cheeks.

“Aw, Jack, don't embarrass them.” Kara laughed, leaning against her boyfriend who was smiling with all his teeth, kissing the top of her head as she spoke.

“Yeah, Jack,” Rian began, looking over at Alex and I, “leave the two alone, because if we're not looking, they might actually make out or something.”

“Rian, close your fucking mouth. We're not at the ocean so your lighthouse teeth don't have to ward off incoming ships.” Alex grumbled as I snorted with laughter, choking on the water I had been sipping on.

“God damn, Alex, look what you did! You almost killed her! No sexy time for you.” Jack yelled, causing a few passersby to stare at our group in almost disgust. I blushed even more, burying my head into my arms as I rested them on the table.

“Jack, hey guess what?” Alex's voice rang through my ears as he placed his hand on my back, beginning to rub it comfortingly.

“What?!”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You guys,” Kaylie spoke up after going to throw away her trash, “I don't want this cookie, does anyone want it?”

My head jerked up as I yelled a 'Yes' at the same exact time Alex did. I turned to look at him, a challenging look on both our faces.

“I want the cookie. I said it first.” I announced, reaching forward and grabbing the cookie from Kaylie's outstretched hand.

Alex grabbed the treat from my fingers, shaking his head, “Bull shit, Jay Bird. Besides, I'm older, that means I get special privileges.”

“Yes, special needs privileges, now give me my damn cookie, woman.”

“Oh, now you're insulting my manhood?” Alex teased, breaking off half of the cookie and handing it over to me.

“Yes, I think I am.” I retorting, biting into the treat.

“Well, you weren't on Saturday night.” My mouth fell open as the rest of the group snickered behind their hands, looking between the two of us as we quarreled like old times.

“Yeah, well, alcohol does have a way of messing with your mind in mysterious ways.” Alex laughed, taking a bite from his own half of the treat as he stood up, picking up his tray to throw away, myself doing the same.

“So, I was thinking,” Alex said, smirking at me from the corner of my eye.

“Wow, that's a first.” I teased, smiling over at him as I threw the tray into the trash can.

“Ha ha. Soooo funny, Jay Bird,” Alex muttered sarcastically, “No seriously. I think you should meet me in the field during your math block so we can talk like old times.”

I nodded, “First one there owes the other one a dollar.”

The air was rushing through my hair as I sprinted towards the field, Alex a good distance behind me as he struggled to keep his baggy jeans from falling around his ankles. I laughed, collapsing to the snowy ground as I made it first to the field, rolling around in the all too familiarity of the scene. Alex plopped himself down next to me, laughing as well as we lay therein the snow, staring up into the blue of the sky as small clouds floating across its vast expanse.

“I forgot how beautiful the sky was,” I whispered, scanning the large sky.

“I didn't,” Turning my head, my eyes caught Alex's as he smiled at me, his brown orbs sinking into mine as I blushed, much like I had been all day today. Alex smirked over at me, seeing the blush rising up my cheeks and placed his hands behind his head.

“You still owe me a dollar, jerk.” Alex laughed, sitting up as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket of his baggy jeans.

“You know, while you were gone, my wallet was a lot bigger.” I laughed, stretching my hand out as I sat up. Before he could place the tattered dollar bill into my palm, I closed my hand, pulling it away from his view. He gave me a confused glance as I chuckled.

Leaning forward with a small smirk, I whispered, “I want something better than a one dollar bill.”

Alex's face lit up as he, too, leaned forward, “Oh really?” He whispered.

I nodded, “Yup,” Alex began to close the space between as I grinned, “I want five dollars.”

“Why you little cock blocker.” I chuckled, jumping up from my spot in the snow, trying to get away. Before I could, Alex's hands found their way around my ankles causing my body to slam against the ground, his weight toppling on top of me as he began to tickle my sides, our laughter cutting through the once almost silent air.

“You're gonna pay for that, Jay Bird!” Alex playfully threatened as he continued to tickle me relentlessly.

“Alex, stop, I'm gonna pee myself!” I screamed through my many laughs as Alex stopped, looking down at me with a lingering smile on his lips, the blue sky illuminating behind his coffee-colored hair.

That's when we both noticed exactly how Alex was positioned; his body straddling mine. Once again the awkwardness was back in the air as Alex cleared his throat to try and relieve the tension before climbing off of me, myself pushing my body off the cold ground.

“So-sorry about that...” Alex said, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided my gaze.

We didn't talk for a bit after that, both of us looking around the field and the lingering building in the near distance. We each cleared areas in the snow, digging in the cold until we hit the brown grass and sat down. I picked up blades of grass and built it up into a small hut of sorts, the browning strands piling up on top of the other, and the pile continued to grow with the awkward tension and silence in the space around Alex and I. Alex continued to mess with his hair like he always did, twisting some of the strands and inspecting the color of them like it had suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the world, occasionally picking up handfuls of snow and dropping it back onto the ground beside him.

In the silence, I welcomed the questions that came to mind, the questions I had been pondering since the party last Saturday. Alex and I hadn't discussed what this all meant; sure we liked each other and we both knew it, but I wasn't sure how to act around him. Would we hold hands now, would we share small kisses before classes, would it be awkward when Lisa found out? What if, what if, what if, was the main focus of my thoughts before I heard the all too familiar sound of a throat clearing and decided to be the first to voice my questioning mind.

“Did you like it?” Alex began coughing unexpectedly, and I had to admit, I wanted to punch my face in for asking such a stupid question. Of all the questions plaguing your mind, you had to ask that one, didn't you Jade?

“Like what?” He asked hesitantly.

I sighed, there was no use in going back now that I had voiced my troubled question, “The kiss...”

After a small silence, he finally spoke, “That's a dumb question...” Alex answered, avoiding my stare momentarily before glancing back at me, a small smirk on his lips.

“You didn't answer it though,” I pointed out, spreading out my pile of grass among the small space of field around my body.

Alex was silent for a moment more, pulling the hood of his jacket over his hair once more, “I liked it...” He answered as a grin slowly grew on his lips, his gaze turning back to me, “A lot.”

“Me too.”

We were silent for another few minutes, both of us returning to our previous activities before Alex began to stutter, his words incomprehensible and not forming the sentences his brain was hurriedly making.

“Yes?” I asked, looking over at him as he opened his mouth to say something. But instead of words coming out, the loud screeching of the school bell sounded, sending both of our sets of eyes to the school where the door slammed open and a few students began to trickle out. I sighed, standing up off the ground and wiping off my pants of the excess grass strands and inspecting the small patches of wet snow that accumulated during the time we had been sitting in the field.

“I guess its time to go, Alex.” I muttered, beginning to walk away from him as he continued to sit on the ground of the field.

After I was about halfway to the growing group of students in the parking lot, I noticed that Alex still wasn't walking with me so I turned around to investigate what had happened to him.

I turned around, intent on yelling at the boy who was merely standing in his same spot on the field, tugging his jacket tighter around his body. Before I could get any word in, Alex's booming voice interrupted me.

“Jade, will you be my girlfriend?!” He yelled across the field, his hands somewhat cupped around his mouth.

I placed a hand on my hip, rolling my eyes at the boy though he couldn't see that from the distance between us, “Is that really how you're going to ask me, Gaskarth?” I yelled back to him.

Alex shrugged, “Well, I couldn't think of a better way to. I mean, god damn, Jay Bird, you're a freakin' complex person!” He screamed throwing his arms up in the air in an exasperated way.

“Well, maybe you should get your skinny ass down here and stop yelling at me from across the field!” I yelled, raising my arms above my head to add emphasis to my point.

“Yeah, maybe!” Alex began to run down the field, still holding up his baggy jeans as he ran, causing a laugh to escape my lips.

When he was standing directly in front of me he smiled, taking my hands in his, “Hey.”

I smiled back, my thoughts getting lost in his chocolate brown eyes that I had hated the first day I met him, “Hey.”

“Will you be my girlfriend now?”

“That's a dumb question.” I answered back, a small smirk on my face as a short laugh escaped his mouth.

“You still haven't answered it though.” He pointed out, leaning towards me with his smile growing on his face.

“Yes.” His face broke out in a grin as well as mine as he connected our lips together, his smile continuously growing as he wrapped his arms around my body, pulling me closer into the warmth of his chest. I sighed, weaving my hands around his neck as I latched my fingers into his hair, combing through the soft strands.

When he pulled away, his smile had taken up almost half of his face which caused my smile to further up my cheeks as well.

“You know this means that you're officially my Jay Bird, right?”

I nodded, “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

Alex met my lips with his once more before lacing our fingers together and walking us toward the growing group of friends at the front of the school's parking lot.

As we approached the group, all eyes turned to meet us, their gaze immediately glancing down at our intertwined fingers before they all erupted in applause and congratulations.

“I will repeat: IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!” Jack screamed, causing the group to erupt in cheers once again.

“What's about fucking time?” I turned my attention to the smiling Rian, his face in a huge toothy grin as he passed by a red head and a blond who were staring over at our group at a picnic table nearby. As he approached the group, his eyes fell to Alex and my hands intertwined together and his grin furthered up his face. “Ooooh....gotcha. Its about fucking time you two.”

We all laughed, Alex wrapping his arm around my shoulders as he kissed my temple, earning 'aw's from the group around us. I smiled, leaning into his torso and wrapping my arm around his middle so that there was little to no space between us.

I looked around the group, smiling at my friends as they joked and teased each other and laughed like we had never been apart a day in our lives. It made me realize that this is what Sam would have wanted for Bailey and I all along: to feel like we belonged in a place that had real people for us to share everything with. He wanted us to be happy, and, in a way, he had brought us that. I owed everything to Sam.

He brought me home.