You're My Schennshine

I wasn’t too keen on leaving the security of the hospital. I was actually finding comfort in the hospital…it was where Luke was…and where my comfort zone was. It was where the love was…Where I could trust things would be OK. He was getting better, stronger. From the waist up, Luke had reached a point where he had full control of his body. He was lifting light weights, using the phone, and being the goofy ray of Schennshine that made my life seem a little less glum. The smiling little text messages he liked to send me…hell, sometimes, he’d send me a text message while I was asleep, just ‘cause. I’d wake up to the busy light on my blackberry, to see only “Good morning babe” From him. I’d sleepily look over at him, seeing him grinning like a kid in a candy store. When he realized I’d seen his text, he’d start giggling. He always woke up early; he had a strict therapy schedule that had him waking up early. Physical therapists from the team were already coming in to make sure that his knees were loose and that he was prepared to start getting his strength back as soon as his spine could talk to his legs.

I’d been called in to hand some paperwork into work. I kissed him as he was working on forearm strength and communication, squeezing a meter that could gauge what strength he had. “Don’t do something amazing without me.” I whispered playfully, nipping his ear. He laughed, kissing my cheek as I pulled away.

“Don’t worry, I won’t get up.” He grinned playfully.

“I should see if they’ll let me wheel you out onto the lawn later.” I grinned at the door. “You need some fresh air…and I wanna bond with you more.” He grinned so wide his eyes sparkled and I laughed.

“I would love that.” He grinned. “Go…the sooner you leave…the sooner you get home.” He urged, waving playfully. He was so much better than he had been. It melted my heart. I blew him a kiss and he pretended to catch it, pressing it to his cheek. I almost ran to the parking garage then, I wanted to get back. God…we’d been dating for over a year, and he made me so happy. I was excited to just see him, constantly. Even with him hurt, I was excited to see him. That never stopped.

I drove safely, but quickly. The hospital was a little bit on the edges of the city, merely because it was so big. Conversely, the newspaper headquarters was close to the arena, on the other side of the city. It was a bit of a drive, and knowing city traffic….I was probably gonna end up wanting to take some gun and shoot out the red lights…or something like that. I was really not a patient girl.

I’d been to New York once, and they drove in this interesting, and very…rude matter. One hand at the top of the steering wheel, one hand on the horn. If I’d had a siren on the hood of my car, I would have used it. Instead, I was doing that thing that the New Yorkers do. I beeped my horn if someone stalled at a green light, or took too slow. I wasn’t prepared to wait for anything.

I parked at a meter and shoved in a couple of quarters. I Ran right up to my office, not waiting a moment.

“Hey Cass! How’s it going!?” My cubicle mate, Jason waved. I ran right past, waving hastily. Then I felt like an ass, so I dragged myself to him, waving.

“Hey Jason.” I smiled. “It’s going…I edited that article on the Leafs…you’re getting better with every article.” I praised. He’d been my intern shadow, so I saw him as a younger brother. I took care of him; made sure he produced the best work he could make. He got my press pass and job after I started dating Luke and was looking at me to help him through.

“I don’t care about how I’m doing.” He laughed. “Well I do…but I asked how you were doing.”

“I’m…yeah.” I laughed softly, shaking my head.

“How’s Luke doing?” He asked softly. “I suggested to Tim that you could do an article for it…I’d kinda rather you do it…I don’t really wanna…screw that one up and have you read it.” He laughed. I shook my head.

“You wanna do an interview with him…it’s netter you do…He doesn’t take it seriously when I talk to him anymore.” I laughed. “He gets very big on himself and doesn’t take it seriously.” I laughed. “Half the time he’s got this sarcastic, half assed witty remark…” I grinned. “After half an hour…he calms down…but…no…I can’t interview my boy.” I laughed, shaking my head, sliding my hand through my hair.

“That’s kinda fucked up.” He laughed.

“He gets all confused when I put on my big girl pants…and kinda hard.” I teased, wrinkling my nose as I giggled.

“Oh…ok…that’s a little too much…I don’t need to think of him boning you on the desk that I now have….” I laughed, bending over as I just considered the very real event. Though it was in my new office…not on my reporter’s desk. It was too open there. My new office had a lock. I blushed as I thought of how he lifted me on the cool, smooth, mahogany surface and just gave it to me. He was a beast.

“Oh…god Jason…” I shook my head. “He can move from the waist up…he’s doing well…his legs still aren’t moving…but they’re anticipating something from him soon. He’s getting some feeling down there. They have to Novocain him now when he gets his spinal taps…and he giggles when I tickle his toes.” I laughed. “He hates that.”

“…because you’re tickling his toes.” Jason said frankly. I laughed, nodding again.

“Yeah…but he’s on the upswing…so…I don’t wanna miss much. Shoot me an e-mail and I’ll set up an interview or something…maybe you can interview me instead.” I grinned playfully. “But…Tim’s stupid reports…” I held up the thick folder.

“Those were total horseshit.” He agreed. “You’re late on that by the way.” I smirked, pulling away from the cubicle.

“I know…but my boy’s kinda paralyzed. Tim can suck it if he thinks that I’d take time away from him to finish these on time.” He laughed and waved me off.

“You’re lucky Tim likes your ass…” He laughed, waving me off. Yeah, it was a major magazine…we should have technically been professional…but at this point, me and Tim were far beyond the professional kind of relationship. We always roasted each other and poked fun…Unfortunately for Jason; he got that kind of cocky confidence by association with me. As a rookie writer, it got him in trouble…at my fault.

I dropped off the folder and talked to Tim for a little bit. We cursed and teased each other before he noticed my rush and sent me off to go take care of Luke. It’d been almost relaxing to joke with my coworkers and just for a moment take my mind off of the slight stress at the hospital. It wasn’t that I was impatient…it was just the uncertainty of the situation. Would Luke make a full recovery or not? I was getting anxious…and trying to keep my chin up. His hands moving, and touching him again made it a little better. I could kiss his fingers, hold his hands…and he was holding mine back.

I navigated the congested streets of downtown Toronto with anxiety…wondering what I’d missed. Despite the comfort among the guys…I’d taken much too long on my small errand. Normally it would have only taken me twenty minutes to a half hour…I was now an hour into my errand, making the slow going a little more anxious for me.

I navigated the maze of the parking garage to find a slot. I found myself running quite a bit today, as I made quick work of the way from the garage to the hospital lobby. I checked in, and found curiously, I was directed to a higher floor than I usually went to. I considered a few options as I found the elevator…maybe they were moving Luke’s room to a more lax floor as it seemed he needed less immediate and intensive care. He could move his arms now; he could feed himself and take control of his own situations a little more.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid to show a very open floor plan. I looked around, expecting to see the usual 3 forked hallways to lead me to different rooms of different patients. Instead, big glass common rooms were spread out before me. I blinked, looking down at the new room number that the receptionist had written down for me. I blinked and noted I was on the right floor. The elevator chimed and the doors started to close, forcing me to make a quick decision and hop out before I went back down.

I wandered around, looking for a patient’s dormitory or something of the sort...figuring that once I found that section of the hospital, I’d find Luke’s exact room number later. When that didn’t happen, I just tried to find the room number given to me.

I slipped into the big room right in front of the elevator and mentally kicked myself for not just looking for numbers. I thought for myself entirely too much sometimes. I slipped into the room and looked around, seeing a rehab center…with tools for physical therapy. I blinked, slowly walking before I heard some talking. I froze, listening before moving.

“You sure I can? I mean…I feel my toes…but…they move slow…”

“I’ll be right here for you if you need me to help you…Luke…we don’t have to rush this…but if you work at it, you’ll get stronger before you know it. The more you work at it…the better you’ll be…look at your hands.”

I slowly took a walk in, and looked around a corner, seeing Luke sitting in his chair beside two parallel bars. He looked at his hands, dropping them onto his armrests limply.

“My hands don’t hold up my body.” He mumbled, looking nervous and a little less confident about his abilities. “If I fall, I’ll fuck myself up worse, won’t I?”

“I wouldn’t be cleared to work with you unless we were confident that we can’t hurt you any worse…” She said soothingly, rubbing his back. “We can just have you do some more leg exercises if you want…but you know Luke…if you don’t push it, you won’t have any significant improvement.” The therapist had this naturally gentle voice. It could empower anyone…and it seemed like it was giving Luke some of his own confidence.

I saw the determination harden his blue eyes to an icy, crystalline determination. He grabbed the wheels of his chair and rolled closer to the bars, so that his legs were touching the steps of the platform. He bit his lip and grabbed his pant leg, tugging his feet from the feet rests of the chair onto the steps. His therapist had a hand on his shoulder; I guessed part for comfort and part for stability. If she needed to, it made it a quicker grab before he fell and hurt himself.

I could see the muscles in his arms arch and harden as he reached his hands up and wrapped his fingers around the bars. The veins in his arms started to make themselves known as he grabbed the wood rods so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He grit his teeth, exertion showing on his face, the way his lip curled and his brow creased. He puffed out his cheeks and grunted as he lifted himself up onto the step. His biceps bulged as he held himself up, his toes barely touching the platform below him. He breathed heavily, groaning gently as he tried to keep all of his weight on his weakened arms.

“Luke…” The therapist said softly. “Slowly lower yourself down…” He said softly. He looked at her stiffly, his arms shuddering a little. I was shocked as to how weak he’d gotten already. He could bench press a small horse if he wanted to, and now he was struggling to hold himself up. “You’ll lose your grip…just a little bit.” She advised. He grunted and looked at his toes, grunting as he straightened them so they weren’t curled under him. He was breathing heavily as he slowly lowered himself, putting weight on his feet.

When she saw he was stable on his feet, she nodded, rubbing his back. “Ok…just scoot your feet forward…we won’t do steps.” She said softly. “Just scoot…don’t try to lift your feet.” He took in a slow breath, nodding as he held the bars in a vice grip. His toes touched at the platform, extending, trying to pull himself for ward. He bit his lip, lifting his toes up, using them in a different way, like the lip of a ski. He slid his foot forward, just a little bit, no more than 4 inches, before he terrifyingly put his weight down, sliding forward his other foot. He bit his lip as he used his arms to cushion more of his weight, gulping and blinking as he gently pushed through for a few steps, inches at a time, before he gasped, shaking on his arms.

“I…I can’t do more.” He gasped. “I’m…” He shook his head. She nodded, wrapping her arm around his waist and slowly guiding him back.

“Ok…just relax Luke” She said soothingly. “Just move with me…work with me…” She said quietly, guiding him back off the platform and easing him into the chair. She was a strong little woman, although Luke was using the last of his strength to help her. “You did really well Luke.” She nodded. “You’ll improve immensely.” He hung his head as he breathed heavily.

“I can’t…” He whispered frustratedly, grabbing angrily at the wheels of his chair, shoving himself back away from the platform. I walked into the room then, walking quickly to him. His sharp eyes caught me and his head shot up, looking at me. His clear blues were hazy with the look of defeat…the same stormy color they got when he fucked up on the ice, when a goal went in off his skate or something equally upsetting. It was the look he got when he was hard on himself. When he beat himself up and thought of his attempts as failure. I bit my lip, moving to kneel before him, putting my hands on his.

“That was amazing Luke…” I whispered, biting my lip and wrapping my fingers around his. He bit his lip and looked down, breaking the gaze between us. I watched him, and reached up, touching his cheek and bit my lip, taking a slow breath.

“No…it wasn’t…I couldn’t even take a step.” He whispered.

“Luke…baby…that was walking.” I coaxed, holding his hand tightly, kissing his knuckles. “Luke baby…” I whispered. “You walked…that’s more than anything you’ve done yet.” He looked at me, and then shook his head.

“That wasn’t walking…that wasn’t even fucking baby steps.” He whispered. He was frustrated, who wouldn’t be? It was taking longer than almost anyone expected. There was talks, wondering if he’d come back this season…wondering if he could make any good progress. He was weak…and he was taking longer than anticipated. Although he got his arms back quickly, they were looking at a month, before he had full mobility in all four limbs, and that didn’t count the weeks of training to get them back to their original strength. He was under more pressure to perform…to get better. Pressure he didn’t need right now.

“Think about it baby.” I whispered. “You just did that…Luke…two and a half weeks ago we didn’t think you’d even walk again. We didn’t think you could play even sledge hockey. Look at you now.” I whispered. “You’re gonna be back on the ice baby…it’s just gonna take time.” I smoothed his hair back, trying to comfort him. I felt the wet roots, watched the sweat glisten off his brow and upper lip

He lifted his head again, looking at me. “I want to get better.” He whispered softly. “I want to be on the ice. I want to make them all shut up and watch me come back.” He whispered. “This…is so frustrating.” He whispered. “Why is it taking so long?” I leaned up, pressing my lips to his.

“Luke…you’re just upset.” I whispered. “They’re talking just to talk…no one’s gonna replace you…no one’s gonna let you go.” I smoothed his hair back again, pressing my forehead to his. “I’m in awe of you…I don’t have a fraction of the strength you do.” I whispered. “I am in awe.”

A smile flashed on his face and he shook his head. “I’m impatient…I’m sick of sitting.” I smiled and nodded.

“We’ll get you good soon.” I said softly. “You’re all sweaty.” I whispered. “Let’s go clean you up.” I said softly, holding his hand as I stood up. He looked at me, leaning up, straining for a kiss. I bit my lip and leaned down, kissing him gently.

“You gonna wash me?” He asked, tipping his head back as I moved behind him to push his chair. I grinned and nodded, kissing his forehead.

“Oh yeah.” I said softly. “After that therapist had her hands all over you…no one else is gonna get in there with you.” I grinned, pushing him into the elevator and sending us down.

“She didn’t have her hands all over me.” He said with a laugh. “That’s called helping me.” I shook my head.

“Oh hell no…” I growled. “You’re mine…no girl is allowed to touch you…no.” I laughed, kissing his head as I pushed him into our room and into the bathroom connected to it. He shook his head and laughed with me.

“I love your irrationality.” He laughed, shaking his head and looking at the shower. I smiled, watching as he shifted himself in the chair, pulling off his gray shirt. I sucked in a breath. He was so well toned. His body was well built and he couldn’t fail to make me feel weak with just a simple removal of his shirt. He smiled at my reaction, a little color coming to his cheeks as I reached down to touch his full chest, hard and soft at the same time….amazingly solid. I leaned down, pressing my lips to his, kissing him a little more deeply. My hands slid up to cup his cheeks, holding him as I slid my tongue into his mouth slowly, tangling with him.

“Mmm…what did I do to deserve that?” He purred as he pulled away, smiling as he looked down and lifted himself up just a little bit so I could get his shorts and boxers off. I grinned at him.

“Being sexy.” I teased, leaning over to turn on the water and making sure it was warm before I moved his chair to the side of the bath. We worked together to slide him across and into the seat of the shower, positioned so he was under the water. I smiled at him, pretending then to sniff my armpit. “Oh…I stink.” I feigned upset. “Looks like I need to shower too.” His face lit up as I sighed, quickly starting to undress.

“You’re bad.” He laughed softly, eyes tracking me as I left my clothes in a pile beside his chair, stepping into the space in the shower next to his seat. I grinned, leaning over and kissing him again.

“What? I need to clean…and I wanna make sure you’re cleaned well.” I teased. He was already wet from the shower and I grabbed his shampoo. I lathered between my hands, and sat in his lap, wanting to be close to him as I enjoyed caring for him.

I slid my fingers through his hair, watching the white streaks of suds slide through the darkened blond locks. I smiled as he purred softly in happiness, closing his eyes as I took care of him. I bit my lip as I pulled back to grab the faucet and leaned over, rinsing out the suds before they could get into his e I bit my lip as I pulled back to grab the faucet and leaned over, rinsing out the suds before they could get into his eyes. He shook the water away and grinned as I tended to him.

I felt a warm growth start to come alive against my legs. I bit my lip and looked down, seeing his length pressed into my thigh. I grinned, looking up at him, seeing the bright red blush across his cheeks. I laughed softly, kissing him, leaning over and nipping his ear. “You like this baby? Getting you excited?” I asked playfully. He laughed nervously, shaking his head.

“Um…yeah.” He said softly. I heard him gulp. I nipped his neck, and slowly stood, pulling away from him. His eyes widened as he looked at me and I grinned, sliding my hand through his hair.

“Poor thing.” I grinned playfully. “Gonna take care of you.” I whispered, my lips dragging over his brow as I knelt down, nudging his thighs apart so I could kneel between them. He sucked in a breath as he realized my intention, and he slid his hand shakily into my hair.

“Oh you’re really bad.” He whispered apprehensively. I grinned, kissing his hot, hard tip, closing my eyes as I just focused on feeling. His hard shaft against my lips…the warm water on my back. I wrapped one of my hands around his thick girth, holding him as I leaned down to take him in. I felt the ridges, the gentle folds of skin slide past my lips and tongue as I slowly slit him into my mouth, and then pulled out; hearing him gasp and feeling him squirm beneath me. I could almost laugh. Without sex in so long…he was super sensitive. I knew he would be.

I squeezed him in my hand gently, hearing him hiss. I smiled around him, moving myself on him slowly, just feeling him slide in and out of my mouth, over my tongue. It was so nice to feel him like this. So nice to have him after so long.

“Oh fuck…” he whimpered. “Oh Cassidy, you’re so good at this.” He whimpered. His hand slid through my hair over and over. It only made me suck him a little more aggressively; stroking his shaft and feeling him squirm beneath my lips. He groaned arching away from me and pushing his hips up to my lips, wanting more. I sucked harder and suddenly, I got the warning.

“Fuck babe…I’m gonna…go!” He choked out, his toes curled and he clung to the seat as he came, shooting gets of his salty, bitter yet sweet tasting nectar across my tongue and into the back of my mouth. I swallowed eagerly to keep up with the sporadic bursts of excitement as they flooded my mouth. Only as he started to soften, did I pull away, coughing gently. He was panting again, shaking in amazement.

“That was a little bit of a workout huh?” I grinned. “Wiggly.” I teased. He pouted, leaning down to kiss me. “At least we know SOMETHING is talking to your brain.”

“Babe…that’s got a brain of its own.” I laughed, hitting him in the arm. I reached over to turn off the water, grabbing him a towel. “You’re amazing.” He laughed.

“No babe…” I shook my head. “You are.”