Status: complete :)
I'm Frightened That I Won't Be Strong
22.
I woke up the next morning, my head still on Jesse's chest. I could still remember what I had heard the night before, and I was still just as confused. Jesse hadn’t given any spoken answers to Joe's questions so I couldn't be sure of his half of the conversation. And I knew that if I asked again, Jesse wouldn’t give me an answer. So I just had to wait.
I opened my eyes to find Frankie playing on the Wii with the sound on mute. I smiled and sat up, slowly moving out of Jesse's arms. "Sleep okay, Frankie?" I asked him and he grinned and nodded but didn't take his eyes away from the screen. I chuckled lightly and then went into the kitchen. I decided to make pancake for everyone and so got about doing that.
"Morning," Kevin said as he stumbled into the kitchen about 15 minutes later. I smiled at him over my shoulder.
"Morning," I smiled.
"Nicky," Kevin said softly and I turned to him properly. "I'm happy for you and Jesse. He's good for you." I smiled at him gratefully, knowing that this was him telling me he approved of my boyfriend. I knew he was slightly uncomfortable, so I changed the subject.
"Pancakes?" I asked him and he grinned and nodded.
"I'll go wake up the others," he said and then quickly left the kitchen, no doubt embarrassed by what he'd just said. I smiled softly and went back to making the pancakes.
Only a minute later, Kevin and Frankie came into the room, accompanied by a sleepy Joe and Jesse. I smiled at Jesse happily and he smiled back as he got plates out of the cupboard, along with things to put on the pancakes. A few minutes later, we were all sitting around the table, happily eating pancakes and laughing and chatting. Truthfully, I had missed my family desperately when I'd been in England, but I didn't want to come back unless Jesse came too. But now I had both – my family and the boy I loved. If I were to die right now, I'd die happy.
Kevin, Joe and Frankie all left at about 1 o'clock and Jesse and I set about tidying all the blankets away and making the living room look presentable again. Once we finished, we collapsed on the sofa, Jesse's arms around me tightly. "Nicky," Jesse whispered and I turned and looked up at him. "I've, um, I've got something for you." I turned to him, frowning slightly.
"Jesse, you don’t need to get me anything else," I said softly. "You got this flat for us. I couldn't accept anything else." Jesse just smiled and stood up.
"Stay here," he said, placing a tender kiss to my cheek, and then quickly left the room. I frowned, wondering what was going on, but then he quickly returned. He sat down beside me and then placed a small, blue velvet box on my knee. "For you," he whispered. My heart was racing and I wondered if Jesse could hear it.
"Wh-What is it?" I whispered, slightly scared to open it.
"Have a look," Jesse whispered and I slowly pulled back the lid and gasped, tears instantly pricking in my eyes.
"Jess..." I whispered, looking away from the ring and up into his eyes.
"I wanted to wait for the perfect moment...but then I realised that that meant I had to wait for it. And I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to," he said softly. He slid off the sofa and knelt in front of me between my knees. He picked up the box and took the ring out tenderly. "I love you, Nick. I always will. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you and I will do anything I can to make you happy. So...will you marry me?" I gazed down at him, looking into his wide, beautiful eyes.
"Yes," I whispered, a small smile tugging at my lips. Jesse grinned. "Yes of course I will!" I reached down and pulled off my purity ring and put it on the table next to the sofa. I turned back to Jesse and he picked up my hand and gently slid the ring onto my finger. I looked down at the ring. It was a gold band with a small ruby set in the centre. It was stunning. I wondered when he had bought it, because he was with me most of the time. And then I realised that this is what he and my brothers were talking about last night as I woke up. I grinned and leant down to smash my lips against Jesse in a fiercely passionate kiss. "I love you, Jesse," I whispered against his lips. "So, so much."
"I love you, too, Nick," he whispered, his warm breath caressing my skin. He then closed the gap between us again and kissed me desperately. I pulled away and glanced at the table which now held my purity ring, then I looked down at my left hand. I smiled softly and then stood up, pulling Jesse with me. "Nick?" he asked, confused as to what I was doing.
"I don’t want to wait anymore," I whispered. "I want you. There isn’t a difference between doing it now or when we're married." I saw Jesse's eyes widen slightly as he realised what I was saying. "Jesse," I whispered. I could feel my cheeks warming slightly as I took a deep breath before speaking again. "Come and make love to me." I heard Jesse's breath catch in his throat and I hid my face. Jesse just raised my face again and gazed down at me. He lowered his lips and kissed me softly and then took my hand and we went into the bedroom.
I opened my eyes to find Frankie playing on the Wii with the sound on mute. I smiled and sat up, slowly moving out of Jesse's arms. "Sleep okay, Frankie?" I asked him and he grinned and nodded but didn't take his eyes away from the screen. I chuckled lightly and then went into the kitchen. I decided to make pancake for everyone and so got about doing that.
"Morning," Kevin said as he stumbled into the kitchen about 15 minutes later. I smiled at him over my shoulder.
"Morning," I smiled.
"Nicky," Kevin said softly and I turned to him properly. "I'm happy for you and Jesse. He's good for you." I smiled at him gratefully, knowing that this was him telling me he approved of my boyfriend. I knew he was slightly uncomfortable, so I changed the subject.
"Pancakes?" I asked him and he grinned and nodded.
"I'll go wake up the others," he said and then quickly left the kitchen, no doubt embarrassed by what he'd just said. I smiled softly and went back to making the pancakes.
Only a minute later, Kevin and Frankie came into the room, accompanied by a sleepy Joe and Jesse. I smiled at Jesse happily and he smiled back as he got plates out of the cupboard, along with things to put on the pancakes. A few minutes later, we were all sitting around the table, happily eating pancakes and laughing and chatting. Truthfully, I had missed my family desperately when I'd been in England, but I didn't want to come back unless Jesse came too. But now I had both – my family and the boy I loved. If I were to die right now, I'd die happy.
Kevin, Joe and Frankie all left at about 1 o'clock and Jesse and I set about tidying all the blankets away and making the living room look presentable again. Once we finished, we collapsed on the sofa, Jesse's arms around me tightly. "Nicky," Jesse whispered and I turned and looked up at him. "I've, um, I've got something for you." I turned to him, frowning slightly.
"Jesse, you don’t need to get me anything else," I said softly. "You got this flat for us. I couldn't accept anything else." Jesse just smiled and stood up.
"Stay here," he said, placing a tender kiss to my cheek, and then quickly left the room. I frowned, wondering what was going on, but then he quickly returned. He sat down beside me and then placed a small, blue velvet box on my knee. "For you," he whispered. My heart was racing and I wondered if Jesse could hear it.
"Wh-What is it?" I whispered, slightly scared to open it.
"Have a look," Jesse whispered and I slowly pulled back the lid and gasped, tears instantly pricking in my eyes.
"Jess..." I whispered, looking away from the ring and up into his eyes.
"I wanted to wait for the perfect moment...but then I realised that that meant I had to wait for it. And I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to," he said softly. He slid off the sofa and knelt in front of me between my knees. He picked up the box and took the ring out tenderly. "I love you, Nick. I always will. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you and I will do anything I can to make you happy. So...will you marry me?" I gazed down at him, looking into his wide, beautiful eyes.
"Yes," I whispered, a small smile tugging at my lips. Jesse grinned. "Yes of course I will!" I reached down and pulled off my purity ring and put it on the table next to the sofa. I turned back to Jesse and he picked up my hand and gently slid the ring onto my finger. I looked down at the ring. It was a gold band with a small ruby set in the centre. It was stunning. I wondered when he had bought it, because he was with me most of the time. And then I realised that this is what he and my brothers were talking about last night as I woke up. I grinned and leant down to smash my lips against Jesse in a fiercely passionate kiss. "I love you, Jesse," I whispered against his lips. "So, so much."
"I love you, too, Nick," he whispered, his warm breath caressing my skin. He then closed the gap between us again and kissed me desperately. I pulled away and glanced at the table which now held my purity ring, then I looked down at my left hand. I smiled softly and then stood up, pulling Jesse with me. "Nick?" he asked, confused as to what I was doing.
"I don’t want to wait anymore," I whispered. "I want you. There isn’t a difference between doing it now or when we're married." I saw Jesse's eyes widen slightly as he realised what I was saying. "Jesse," I whispered. I could feel my cheeks warming slightly as I took a deep breath before speaking again. "Come and make love to me." I heard Jesse's breath catch in his throat and I hid my face. Jesse just raised my face again and gazed down at me. He lowered his lips and kissed me softly and then took my hand and we went into the bedroom.