You Are and Never Will Be Better Than Me

*Two days later*

Zacky hadn't left my side since the accident, I felt like I was being a burden to him.
"Take your medicine," He whispered, flipping through some books
I stood up and walked to the bathroom, grabbing my bottle of pills. I swallowed two and sat on the toilet. I knocked the door shut with my foot and sighed.

"I gave him my emergency bottle, this has happened before, and my mom just gave me some pills and I was fine." I whispered to myself

"Babe?" Zacky asked

"Oh, u-uh I'm Fine!" I squeaked, rushing back to my room.

"Are you okay?" He asked standing up

"Zacky?" I asked

"Yeah, Frankie?" He answered

"The accident has happened before, ya know?" I said, sitting on the bed

"But, Jackie said she's never seen it before," He said, confused

"She hasn't seen it, but it has happened before, I can't stop it. And the doctor is wrong, it doesn't happen if I don't take my medicine, it happens even if I do take it."

"That doesn't add up, what is "it" that you're talking about?" He muttered

"It's something that comes with the diagnosis of being a Schitz, I can't help it." I explained

"You keep saying that you can't help it, what the hell is it?!" He shouted, I cringed

"I don't fucking know, Zacky." I whispered harshly

"How do you not know when it's happening to your fucking body!" He roared

"Zack, I don't know. I never knew! The doctors don't even know! The medicine doesn't help and with you telling me to take it every five minutes I'm going to go completely fucking insane!" I yelled

"Frank, I didn't mean-" He mumbled

"I know you didn't mean it, no one ever means it! I want someone to stand up to me, I am a piece of shit to everyone, and you seem to think that I don't know it! I do know and it upsets me to see someone like you, who has everything going for them having to deal with a piece of shit like me who doesn't understand anything. I don't know why you find it so hard to just tell me what I am! Say it!" I shouted

"Frankie, you aren't-"

"Tell me what I am, Zacky." I growled

"Frank, you are a kid with too many expectations, a kid who has everything he wants. You say you don't know anything, but you are extremely smart and I can tell that you want to try to get better grades. And you're the kid that I want to marry someday, I love you, Frank." He spoke simply

"I know you do, but you don't understand," I mumbled

"I'll try to..." He suggested

"No Zacky, you don't understand me, no one does." I explained

"Then I'll stay here until I do understand." He smiled slightly

I huffed, if I could be let alone, I could fix me and my life.