Mutiny Below

Jayce

It didn’t take much of an effort to convince John I was sick the next day. Something as simple as his touch would make my stomach start churning and the tears start welling up. I tried showering and scrubbing off the dirty feeling but it didn’t work.

Eventually I persuaded John to get out of the apartment without me. I wasn’t sure where he was going, but the fact that he was leaving made me feel better, and then that made me feel guilty.

I tentatively stepped out into the living room, holding my breath. Nick was sitting on the couch, casual as ever. He turned his head when the floor squeaked underneath me. He smiled and patted the spot beside him. I frowned and took the empty seat farthest from him.

“Nick, we have to talk.” I bit my bottom lip and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. It seemed the tension between us never died. I still had the desire to jump on top of him and repeat all of last night, dealing with consequences later.

“Talk about what?” His voice was innocent, but the look on his face was anything but. He was smirking and that gleam in his eyes as he stared at me was full of mischief. He was thinking the same thing I was, and that was not good. It would have to be a joint effort to fight this craving.

“It won’t happen again.” I forcefully told him, but his smirk just widened.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Nick, it can’t happen again. I can’t do this. I have a boyfriend, remember? I have a life, a happy life with John. I’m not going to throw that away because you have some infatuation with me.” I crossed my arms and pouted.

“Infatuation?” He repeated in disbelief and then stood up. My insides quivered as he strode over to me, bending down on his knees and never breaking eye contact. I swallowed hard trying to keep my nerve as he slowly reached out and cupped my cheek with his hand. His eyes turned soft as he smiled slightly. “I wouldn’t do this if I was just infatuated with you, Jayce. This is much, much more.”

“But—,” he smoothed his thumb over my lips, stopping me from finishing my sentence.

“I know you have John. I know this is stupid and wrong, and I know how awful you feel doing this to him, but I can’t not have you.” He shook his head and then pressed his lips together. His hand fell from my face and fell to my lap were our fingers tangled reflexively. I stared down at our hands while he stared at me. I could hardly breathe. “Jayce?”

It took a minute before I could raise my eyes to his. He smiled a little, hope brightening up his features.

“If you can tell me honestly that last night was a mistake and you truly don’t want to do it again, I’ll back off.” He squeezed my hands and I frowned deeper. “But if there’s even a chance you felt what I did, then please don’t let this go.”

I opened my mouth and nothing came out. This only encouraged him more, making his smile widen.

“It’s okay to give in, Jayce.” He rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand.

“Don’t you, for one minute, think any of this is okay.” I snatched my hands from his and stood up, stomping off back to the bedroom again.

I laid on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Tears leaked from the corner of my eyes. I hated how I couldn’t push him away. I hated that John loved me and yet my heart was pulled toward Nick. I didn’t want to stop, I just knew I should. It was the right thing.

But as the hours dragged on and my crying slowly stopped, I got honest with myself. I’d never done the right thing in my life and I probably wasn’t going to start now.

I cleaned up my makeup and threw my hair into a bun. When I came back out into the living room, John was back. He smiled at me and I suppressed the shame as I bent down to gently peck his lips. I could feel Nick staring but I carefully avoided his gaze.

“I’m going to start supper in the kitchen. Any preferences?” I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched the television screen. The two boys were watching some show about cars.

“Actually, I picked dinner up tonight. It’s out on the counter.” John grinned cheesily and I rolled my eyes, letting my fingers tangle in his hair for a moment.

“How considerate.” I mumbled before going into the kitchen. I found the cartons of Chinese on the counter, just as he’d said. I was busy making a plate when the footsteps came into the kitchen behind me. I held my breath for a moment before glancing over my shoulder.

Of course Nick was leaning against my counter, hands in pockets and both his eyebrows rose. I ignored him at first, putting my plate into the microwave to heat it up some. Then he cleared his throat.

“So … you didn’t really give me an answer before.”

I sighed and glanced at him before also glancing at the doorway.

“He’s on the phone outside.”

I frowned and then shook my head, going back to the fridge.

“Are you seriously going to give me the silent treatment for the rest of my stay?”

I contemplated the thought but then turned to him with my hands on my hips. He looked slightly frightened. “After you leave, you forget me.”

He was surprised at first, then confused. “Jayce, I c—,”

“No excuses. When tour starts, this is done. For good.”

He stared at me for a long time. “Fine.” He agreed and then took a step toward me. I held my hand and kept my stance firm.

“One more thing.” He stopped short, his worry taking over his eyes again. My whole body tensed up. I lowered my voice but kept it strong. “John. Doesn’t. Find. Out.” This was the most important thing. I could deal with the guilt, the shame, the lying, the being an awful person, but I couldn’t bear to break John’s heart. He was too good for that.

Nick slowly nodded. He took the steps that were left between us and brought his hands up to my neck, gently cradling it. “Your wish is my command.” He whispered and then closed the distance between our lips.

The kiss was sweet and short. It sent sparks through my veins and quickened my pulse. He pulled away quickly and smiled real big before turning to leave the kitchen. I watched him, chewing on my bottom lip and wondering if I’d just made a huge mistake. He stopped just before he got through the doorway and looked back.

His eyes were shining and his smile was so intoxicating. I melted and let the counter support me. “You mind if Nat comes over? Eric ditched her earlier and I was thinking maybe we could all watch a movie.”

“Y-yeah, tell her to come on..” I managed a reply and a tight smile. He winked and then disappeared. I shook my head and turned back to the fridge again.

I grabbed a soda and my plate, hurriedly scarfing it down. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until that first bite. When I was rinsing my plate, a knock came on the front door. I reassured the boys I had it as I walked through the living room. It was Natalia, as I had guessed and I greeted her warmly before letting her in.

We both went back into the living room where the car show had now changed into standup comedy. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the only chair. I didn’t really pay attention to the TV, but instead let myself wander in my thoughts.

Soon enough, Nick left to go down to the pool. Of course he gave me a look before he left, but I subtly shook my head. Instead of following him, I went to the bedroom. All of the stress from last night had made sleep practically impossible until now. I was tired and it was sort of early, but I didn’t care.

I laid down and snuggled under the covers, letting my mind go blank. That lasted for only a few hours. I woke up at almost eleven with John beside me. I slipped out of the bed and shuffled my way to the bathroom. I had to pee so badly, but the door was shut and locked.

I groaned and leaned against the wall. A few seconds later the door opened and out stepped Nick in nothing but a towel. My mouth dropped opened as I stared at him. He smirked and looked behind me before quickly taking advantage of my frozen shock.

It was another small, simple kiss, but the feeling it gave me was beyond description. He pulled away again before I could do anything, still smirking at me. I snapped from my surprise and rolled my eyes, pushing him back.

He chuckled as I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.