Mutiny Below

Jayce

I sighed and tried to pull the hospital gown off of my body. The sharp pains in my abdomen made me freeze before I was even half way. This was beyond ridiculous. I couldn’t even undress or redress myself. I bit my bottom lip as I glanced at the door. I knew who was waiting out there, probably in the same chair he’d spent the past three days in. I was just hoping to be able to do one thing by myself.

No luck. I finally gave up and tip toed to the door. I briefly wondered if anyone else had showed up in the past ten minutes before finally just cracking the door open. “John?” I called softly and closed my eyes as the chair scrapped against the floor. When I opened them again he was standing before me, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown set on his lips. I let him the door swing wider as I pouted. “I need a little help.” I gestured to the gown.

John smiled and took the door handle from me. He stepped in and slowly pushed me back into the small bathroom. He eyed my clothes still folded neatly and piled on top of the sink’s counter. His smile turned crooked as he smirked a little. “Come here, gorgeous.” He wiggled his finger and I rolled my eyes.

“Just untie me first.” I turned around slowly so that my back was facing him. I swallowed hard as my hands started to tremble. I don’t know why I was so nervous about John seeing me in my underwear, but I just couldn’t shake the nerves either. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes as I felt his fingers across my skin.

It was quiet except for John’s soft mumbles of ‘right here’ or ‘turn’. I did everything I could to avoid his eyes and I think he noticed because he was frowning by the time he finished. I smiled a little and reached up on my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

“Thanks.” I whispered and finally let those green eyes lock with mine. His grin returned, thankfully, and he pulled me to him, hugging me gently. He kissed the top of my head and then we were both walking out of the bathroom.

It felt good to be in my own clothes again. John took his spot in the chair and I sat down on his lap. I was tired of the hospital bed and I was antsy to finally get out. Adam came about half an hour later with my bag from the house. He threw it on the empty bed and held his arms out.

I giggled and, with John’s help, stood up to give him a hug too. “I’m coming down this weekend to visit, so keep the spare open for me Jay.” He kissed my cheek.

“You don’t have to check on me. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m coming this weekend.” He smirked and I rolled my eyes.

“At least wait till next weekend? I know you’re behind on school now and it’s stressing you out.” I pouted and he rolled his eyes this time.

“I’ll see you guys this weekend.” Adam waved to John before turning to leave.

John chuckled as I came back to sit on his lap. “You forgot to mention that the spare already has a guest.” His arms encircled my waist as my heartbeat stuttered. Thankfully I wasn’t attached to a monitor anymore.

“Right.” I agreed. Nick hadn’t been to the hospital since the first time I woke up. He hadn’t sent flowers or balloons or cards like everyone else. No one had even mentioned him till now, like he’d just vanished from the scene. No one asked why I was out driving before the accident anymore either. The news about my parents spread and they all assumed I was driving toward comfort, to John. Right.

“Are you hungry, babe?” John squeezed my thigh where his hand laid and pulled me from my thoughts.

“Some.”

“What do you want for lunch?” He grinned, knowing I’d been complaining about the hospital food for the entire three days I’d been in the hospital.

“Panera.” I grinned back and he laughed.

“I’ll text Eric to make sure they don’t eat on their way here.” He moved to reach his phone from the bedside table and again my heart stuttered. I hated how it always did that when I thought of Nick.

“Eric’s coming to pick us up?” I questioned uncertainly as he typed with one hand. “I thought it was Gemma and Kennedy.” I prayed it was Gemma and Kennedy.

“Kenny’s got a flat, which Gemma is blaming on Eric since he lost the paper, rock, scissors game to come pick us up.”

“Oh.”

“Eric’s bringing Nat with him too.”

I bit my lip. “What about Nick?” I tried desperately not to let me voice waver and apparently I did a good job since John didn’t even look up from his phone until after he send the text.

“Nick’s been real sick. Nat’s been staying over at our place with him. She said he’s been vomiting all over our bathroom.”

My chest tightened. It hurt worse than my broken and fractured ribs. He was in pain, because of me, probably because of how disgusted he was with me. I wondered for a moment if things would go back to how they were when he first arrived in Arizona. The harsh comments then had hurt, but I’d deserved them. They would still hurt now, but so much worse. To hear those crude words come from the man I was in love with. It would shatter me.

“Eric says they’re about five blocks away. You want to start the walk downstairs?” John switched his gaze from his phone to me. I managed my pathetic smile and nodded. He gently picked me up as he stood and then sat me on the bed beside my bag. “You stay here while I go get a wheel chair.”

I stayed quiet as he left, but once he was gone a small sob broke through my lips. A tear fell down my cheek. I couldn’t handle Nick hating me. I didn’t want him to hate me. I brushed the tear away and breathed in deep. I couldn’t lose it. Not now, and not here.

I suppressed all of the ridiculous emotions and smiled as I turned to see John pushing a squeaky wheel chair. I laughed at his frustrated face. “I can walk, you know.”

His frustration with the squeaky noise disappeared as he looked at me like I was insane. “Um, no. Not happening in a million years, Jayce.” He shook his head and left the wheel chair at the end of the bed. Then he came to the bed again and easily lifted me. I didn’t argue as he carried me to the wheel chair since I knew it’d do no good anyway. After placing me carefully into the chair, he grabbed my bag and swung it over his shoulder.

“At least let me hold the bag.” I outstretched my hands and he chuckled before placing the bag just as carefully onto my lap. I smiled as he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine in a small kiss. “Thank you.”

He smirked as he went behind me and started to push me out of the room and down the halls. It was weird how just as we got to the bottom floor and signed all the papers to check me out, Eric’s car pulled up outside. Convenient, but weird.

Eric jumped out of the car once he saw John and I coming out the front doors. He had that big goofy grin on his face and a pair of sunglasses that hid his brown eyes. “Jayce! John! It’s fucking good to see you guys!” He hugged John first and then slightly wrapped his arms around me.

“Where’s Nat?” John asked and Eric’s big grin fell a little.

He nodded back toward the car. “Both the Santino’s are a bit moody at the moment.” He muttered and then put his hands in his pockets. John frowned and then nodded before pushing me toward the car. Eric fell into step beside us. “I swear, it’s been like ‘hate on Eric’ week or something.”

I giggled but then quickly made a blank face as both boys turned to me. I smiled innocently with my arms outstretched toward John. “Carry me?” He laughed and handed my bag to Eric before picking me up from the chair. John placed me in the backseat of the car while Eric threw my bag in the trunk. Then Eric climbed into the driver seat as John pushed the wheel chair back into the hospital.

I could feel the tension thick in the car, as if Nick was here anyway. It was almost too hard to breath in, but John relieved some of it as he climbed into the backseat beside me. “So where are we going to eat?” Eric pulled away from the curb and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Panera, please.” John spoke up and put his arm around me. I bit my bottom lip and looked out the window. The car fell absolutely silent for the rest of the four minute drive to the closest Panera Bread restaurant. I swear we all nearly died.

John kept his arms around me as he helped me into Panera. I could feel Natalia’s eyes on us every now and then, but every time I looked over to smile at her she would quickly look away. I sighed and gave up after about the tenth time.

Eric paid for her lunch, even though she apparently wasn’t talking to him either. John paid for us and then the four of us found a table by the window. Everyone was pretty quiet while we ate too. It was definitely driving me insane. By the way Eric was fidgeting, I could tell it was really bugging him that Natalia was being so cold toward him too.

John was not oblivious to the tension, but it seemed he was trying to ignore it the best he could. I sat my sandwich down in the basket and finally made a face. “You okay, Jayce?” I knew he had been watching me from the corner of his eye.

“Um, I just have to use the restroom.” I scratched at the back of my head awkwardly and both sets of boys eyes turned toward Natalia. I groaned mentally. Should have kept my mouth shut.

“Nat . . .” John softly said her name and then trailed off as he dropped his eyes to the table. The awkwardness just got intensified by a thousand.

“Yeah.” Natalia sighed and stood up. She put her hands out for mine. I tried not to frown as I took them and pulled myself up with her help. She let me lean on her some as we staggered back to the restrooms. She even helped to the stall and to the sink. I smiled a little at her in the mirror.

“Thanks for your help, Nat. I really appreciate it.” I watched as her nose scrunched up. I frowned and turned toward her. She was glaring at me.

“Don’t Jayce, just don’t.” Her tone was full of more repulsion and loathing that it was practically like she smacked me in the face.

“Don’t what?” I turned the water off and turned toward her. She rolled her eyes and grabbed some paper towels before handing them to me.

“Don’t pretend. I know what you were doing before the accident so don’t play innocent. You don’t fucking deserve shit and I sure as hell wouldn’t be helping you if it weren’t for the fact that my brother loves you so much.”

That was definitely like a slap to the face. “I’m so—,”

She cut me off quick. “Don’t apologize either. We both know you don’t mean it.” She sneered and then sighed as she walked over to help me to the trash can. “I just wish you’d stop leading them both on.” With that sentence out, we both fell silent as we returned to the table and the guys.

John gave her a thankful smile as he put his hands on my hips to guide me to my seat. Natalia nodded and took her seat back beside Eric, who was frowning and looking so dreadful it was heartbreaking to see. I started to get overwhelmed again. I did all of this. It’s all my fault.

I hurt John and I hurt Nick, but it was more than that. I was hurting Natalia and thus hurting Eric and everyone else around us. I sighed heavily and stared down at my food as John and Eric struck up some idle conversation. It’s all my fault.

“You want to get a box for that, babe?” John rubbed my back and I snapped from my overloaded guilt trip. I just nodded and then bit my lip as he stood up to go ask someone for a box.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Natalia anymore. She was right. She was so right. But then, she was wrong too. I was sorry. I was more than sorry honestly. I had tried to stop this chaos from ensuing. I’d pushed Nick away. I’d fought my feelings constantly. I did try. But I also failed and I suppose that was all she saw, my huge failure.

The drive home to Tempe was equally awkward and quiet. I dozed off while leaning against John for a few, but then woke up when Eric stopped in front of our apartment. Eric asked if we needed any help getting into the apartment and then when we declined, if we needed anything else like tampons. I rolled my eyes and John told him goodnight.

I hadn’t realized how the day had slipped away already. It was dark as John carried me into the apartment with my bag resting on his shoulder. He let me down at the entrance of our home and I breathed in deep. It felt so good to be home, finally.

“Nick! We’re back!” John yelled and my smile completely dropped. Comfort went right back out the front door without bothering to stay for two seconds. I sighed and shuffled to the couch. John followed me cautiously but I swatted his hands away every time he tried to steady me.

“I’m fine. Really. Just go throw my bag in the room. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” I hadn’t to admit that I became snippy because of my own emotional issues. John chuckled and only left after I was safely sitting down. Nick strolled into the room without so much as a first glance to me. I swallowed hard and tried not to stare.

He sat down on the opposite side of the couch and watched the blank television screen. His features showed exhaustion and sickness. My heart saddened at the sight but I had to stay strong. I was surprised he didn’t say anything, but then maybe he was too ill to start something that would most likely end in a fight. Either way, John returned shortly with a smile as he took the spot between Nick and I and asked Nick how he was doing.

It didn’t take long either before we ended up watching a movie. We were all too tired to finish it though. I conned John into letting me take a bath before going to bed. He got up to grab clothes and a towel and then start the bath before he was coming back for me. Again, leaving me to be alone with Nick.

He looked at me for the first time once John left. His hazel eyes sparked so much in me, but I kept my face straight and so did he. He slowly started shaking his head before he tore his eyes away from me. “What the hell’s going on Jayce?” He mumbled and rubbed his palms on his jeans. “One second we’re doing great and then the next you’re all over John. I don’t even know what to think anymore.”

“I’m sorry Nick.”

“I don’t want an apology, Jayce.” He waved me off and then turned his head again, this time letting it rest against the back of the couch. His hazel eyes were searching mine for something. “Just tell me,” he paused, “did you choose John?”

I carefully kept myself guarded. “It’s always John.” I whispered and watched the turmoil swirl in those lovely orbs. He frowned deeper and turned his head toward the TV once again.

John entered the room, breaking the confrontation. It wasn’t much, but I think it got the point across. Nick knew there wouldn’t be an ‘us’ again.

I managed to keep myself together as John helped me undress and get in the tub. He left me to relax and told me to just shout when I was ready to get out. I smiled and kissed him like nothing was wrong. Once the door closed and I listened to his footsteps go back into our bedroom, I rested my head against the wall and cried silently until the aching in my body numbed the pain in my heart.