Mutiny Below

Jayce

I sighed as I folded another pair of John’s pants and sat them down on the bed. All of his laundry for tour was finally done and all that was left was to actually pack it into a small duffel bag. I decided to let him do that after he got back from hanging out with Kennedy.

I crossed my arms and checked one last time to make sure I had everything out for him. I bit my bottom lip. It was obvious none of my clothes were lying with his which would make this the tell tale sign that I was not going on tour with the boys.

John and I hadn’t really talked about it since the accident. All my injuries were healing fine, the physical ones anyway. My emotions were still a mess as I kept myself away from Nick as much as possible. I couldn’t go on tour with him. I couldn’t.

I exhaled again and shook my head, trying to get everything off my mind. I called Gemma to see what she was up to. She squealed about how excited she was for tour and how she was barely ready and how Kennedy was more not ready than her and how they were both running around the apartment trying to get things together. Then she hung up.

I frowned as I stared at the phone in my hand. John had left hours ago saying he and Kennedy had ‘things to do’. My heart thudded and bile rose in my throat. Why would John lie? I dialed Eric’s number quickly.

“Sup, Jayce?”

“Hey Halvo. Have you heard from John?”

“Uh, no? I did see the car heading out toward the lake this morning though. You know, he’s probably just got his before-tour jitters.”

I sighed with relief and closed my eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m not in the tour mind-sight since I’m not going this time.” I cringed. I didn’t plan on letting anyone know I wasn’t going until everyone was loading up on the bus.

“This is a bummer. You and Nat should both be coming! Life is unfair!”

“Stop complaining Eric!” Nick yelled in the background and I shivered. Then I groaned.

“I will not stop until both of them have agreed to come on tour.”

“I don’t think it’s going to happen, Eric.” I sighed into the phone and then crossed my arm over my chest.

“Are you coming over then? To do some sober chilling before I never see you again?” I couldn’t help but smile a little as I rolled my eyes.

“Sure, doll. I’ll be over in like twenty minutes.”

“Mkay; I’ll have Nick pull out the deck of card and we can all play bullshit for the last time ever.” I even giggled at that.

“Sounds fun, Halvo. I’ll see you then.”

We hung up and I tossed the phone to the couch before I glanced around the empty apartment. I felt better now that Eric had mentioned the lake. It made sense. John always liked to go out to the lake before tour to just kind of make all his thoughts serene. I ruffled my hair before shaking the weird feeling that something was wrong off and then I went to the bathroom.

I showered and changed into some fresh pajamas. I brushed my hair and pinned it up. I didn’t bother with anything else, feeling too tired to care about my appearance. Then I slipped on some sandals and headed out the door.

The sun felt nice on my shoulders. If I closed my eyes and tried hard enough, I could imagine things were okay. By the time I actually made it to Eric’s, I was grinning like a fool. Nick answered and pulled me into a hug when he saw me. My insides fluttered.

“You look beautiful, Jayce.” He whispered into my ear, making me go that much more crazy for him. I shook my head as I pulled away and bit my bottom lip.

“Everybody ready to play bullshit?” I called as Nick and I entered the living room. Eric was sitting up with Nat curled up beside him, her head in his lap. So damn cute.

“Technically, we can’t find the cards.” Eric gave me a weak smile and I rolled my eyes.

“Great.” I sighed and plopped down on the ground. “What are we going to do now?” I watched Nick in my peripheral as he went and sat on the couch just at Nat’s feet.

“Your guess is as good as ours.” Nick chuckled as he put his hands behind his head. He was smirking at me. I didn’t see it but I didn’t have to. I could just feel his warmth and that playful vibe that came off of him when he smirked. It made my heart flutter and for once, I didn’t let myself feel guilty about it. For now.

“Let’s pay Never Have I Ever.” Eric suggested and both Nick and I gave him an odd look.

“Nat doesn’t drink dude.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to play with alcohol. Here, everybody put ten fingers up.” He grinned as he took his hands from Nat’s hair and held them up by his head. Nat giggled and put her hands up above her. I copied her and then finally, after another eye roll, Nick held his up too. “Sooooo … Never Have I Ever … licked my nose.” He grinned goofily.

“Eric, no one can lick their nose.” Nick shook his head and tried not to laugh.

“That’s not true! It’s a very impressive talent!”

Nick actually snorted at this as did Nat and I. “Correction, no one in this room can lick their nose. Okay?”

“Fine.” Eric huffed and bit his lip for a second. “Never Have I Ever been in a car accident.” He smirked as everyone’s eyes went to me.

“Really?” I quirked an eyebrow as Eric snickered and I put one finger down.

“Nat’s turn!”

“Um, Never Have I Ever,” she hummed and then grinned. “Smoked a cigarette.”

“That’s harsh, Nat.” Nick playfully hit her leg as the three of us all put a finger down. She stuck her tongue out at him and then Eric exclaimed that it was Nick’s turn. “Well, Never Have I Ever killed my pet fish.” He smirked again and Nat gasped.

“I didn’t not kill him! He jumped out of his bowl!”

“Because you didn’t feed it.” Nick was laughing hysterically as Nat glared at him and put a finger down.

“Jayce!”

“I’m thinking.” I yelled back at Eric and then pursed my lips. “Never Have I Ever …”

“There’s nothing that you’ve never done, is there?”

“Shut up, Halvo! Never Have I Ever played in a band.” Nat giggled as Nick’s mouth fell open.

“Cruel.” Eric muttered as he put a finger down with Nick. “Never Have I Ever eaten popcorn.” I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, now you’re just lying.”

“Am not! I don’t eat popcorn! My mom always thought I’d choke on it and I kind of think she’s right.” Everyone cracked up. The game continued, Nat winning the first round. Hours went by without much notice until everyone got hungry.

The boys ordered in a pizza leaving Nat and I alone in the living room. I sighed as I checked my phone. Still no word from John. At all. I tossed the phone to the couch and rested my head back on the couch.

“You okay, Jayce?” My eyebrows furrowed. Nat sounded even more timid than usual.

“Uh, yeah, just a little worried. I haven’t heard from John since this morning. Usually he only spends a few hours out by the lake.” I shrugged and then glanced at her. She looked more worried than I felt as she bit her bottom lip and kept her eyes on the couch. “You okay?”

Her eyes darted to me and she nodded just as Eric and Nick came back into the room. Nat immediately curled up to Eric’s side as he sat down between us and I frowned slightly. She didn’t look okay.

We all fell into a silence with our eyes on the TV screen. I don’t know if anyone was really watching it. Well, Eric definitely wasn’t since he was the one to break the silence.

“I don’t want today to end.” He pouted and hugged Nat closer to him. Nick rolled his eyes from his chair. “Tomorrow’s the big going away party, and then the day after that Nat’s going to the airport, and the day after that we have to leave for tour. I wish we could just stay like this. At least for a few more months.”

I couldn’t help myself. My eyes started to water. As stressful as the past two months had been, as guilty and horrible I had felt, and the awful things I’d done, I still didn’t want things to change either. I didn’t want to let Nick go. I sniffled and kept my eyes glued to the TV. “Right there with you, Halvo.” I muttered and felt the burning of those eyes as the words left my mouth.

He could read through it. He would know what I meant.
Part of me wished he’d feel the same.