Alone In This Bed

We were falling apart. We were like a glass vase hitting concrete, we were shattered. There was no use to get on my knees and try to pick up the glass shards of this relationship. The glass would just slice up my fingers and leave more scars. I missed the warm touch I’d get from him, now everything was cold. Everything was dead now. Time to pull the plug on this. I walked down the street to where he lived, I knocked on the door feeling the nerves in my stomach bunch up in knots. He opened the door, his big eyes looked down at me, a weak smile appearing on his face. This was it, I had to move on just as he was.

“Curtis, I’m sorry but I don’t want to be with you anymore,” I stated dryly my eyes narrowed on him.

Curtis bit his lip and nodded, “so, Olleh sent yeh here didn’t he?”

“Oliver has no fucking clue I’m here. Why the fuck would he? This isn’t about him and I don’t understand why it would be. I don’t like Oliver.”

“Because I was kicked out of the fucking band! I didn’t want to tell yeh!” he yelled, a few neighbors looked over to us. I closed my eyes and prayed this was supposed to happen.

“Well, the fuck ever. Oli didn’t send me here I sent myself. Curtis we’re through. It hurts like hell to tell you this but it has to be over. You ignore me, you yell at me. Our relationship has died and I’m tired of trying to revive it,” I stated looking down at my shoes. Tears pricked my waterline, I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears. “I can’t do it anymore.”

“I gave yeh everything,” Curtis practically whispered. I looked away to his mother’s rose bushes.

“As I for you,” I whispered. “Curtis I swear to you I wouldn’t do this if there weren’t a reason.”

“Is there someone else?” he questioned reaching out, tilting my head up with his fingers under my chin. I looked him directly in the eyes, my heart nearly stopped seeing the sadness build in his eyes.

“No, there isn’t,” I felt my heart ache as I spoke. He leaned up against the doorway and nodded.

“Okay, this must be goodbye then,” he wiped under his eyes and I turned away. I walked home feeling awful, possibly even more awful then when I lost my virginity, which made that pain of thinking about it worse, it was with Curtis. I finished my short walk and walked back into the flat that I resided in. I looked in the kitchen and saw Vegan and Lee raiding my refrigerator. I sighed entering the kitchen and taking a seat on one of the bar stools at the island by the stove. I put my face in my hands and proceeded to let my tears fall.

“What’s wrong?” Vegan’s deep voice filled my ears. I didn’t respond. I felt a soothing hand on my back, stroking gently, it must have been Lee because Vegan was infatuated with his cheese sandwich.

“Yeh not alright, tell me what’s wrong?” the thick accent which belonged to Lee felt so close, his arms slid around me embracing me, just like Curtis did whenever I felt down in the dumps, tears flowed more.

“Curtis and I broke up,” I sniffled before wiping my hands on my jacket sleeves

“Why?” Vegan asked his mouth full of sandwich. I shook my head and inhaled deeply, making a disgusting snot noise.

“Because,” I stated in the most nonchalant way I could, “it needed to be done.”

“That’s not a good enough reason,” Lee had already let me go, I missed the feeling of a warm embrace already.

“Yes it is,” I growled getting up from my seat and walking down the hallway to my room. I pushed the door open making my way into the cold room. I threw myself down face first letting the cold comforter brush over my exposed skin. Maybe this wasn’t right after all.