Alone In This Bed

I rolled around in my bed trying to go back to sleep, my efforts were fruitless it was time to wake up and face the day. Throughout the night I had managed to flip myself to the opposite end of the bed. I looked back to see my alarm clock on my dresser, 11:24 in bright red letters. I sighed and coughed slightly before reaching for my phone. Four new messages Laura, Lee, Vegan, Nicholls, then two missed calls from Tom and Lee. I opened the messages folder on my Sidekick and read them each.

“Want to hang out today?” from Laura. No, I had work to get to at one. I sighed then scrolled down the to the next message from Lee, I reluctantly opened it.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’ll be here for you,” Lee’s message read, I felt comforted for a moment. I didn’t bother with Vegan’s or Nicholls messages, I’d answer them later. I managed to pull myself out out the bed of my depression to make my way into the bathroom that was connected to my room. I turned the shower knobs on and awaited the water to gain the correct temperature. I slowly stepped in and began washing my body then my hair, the purple would be fading by now, but it was okay. Curtis loved the purple, it was his idea.

I was the one who broke up with him, I shouldn’t miss him like this. I pressed my forehead to the tile as the water fell all over my body and rinsing the little bit of conditioner out of my hair. I grabbed the towel off the top of the shower, then turned the shower off. I began drying my hair with a towel then wrapped it around my body, walking towards my closet I noticed one of my favorite pictures of Curtis and I, Tom had taken it for me when we first started dating. I put the frame face down, I saw a note taped to the back. I didn’t bother to look at it, I just made a disgusted face as I stepped towards my closet. I turned on the medium sized television that sat on my dresser to the news. The man doing the weather stated it should be rather warm and cloudy but to make sure we had a brolly in case of rain. I grabbed some shorts, vans, one of Nicholls god awful beanies he left here that I secretly thought was cute, a t-shirt, my bag, and the panda brolly Curtis got me as a surprise. I shoved it into my blue messenger bag and I threw that on the bed. I walked into the bathroom, quickly dressed myself.

I sprayed some moisture stuff into my hair and began to brush it, then blow drying it, I reached into the cabinet grabbing my extensions. I finished drying my hair then began parting it for my extensions, they only gave me about a few inches difference to my somewhat long hair. For a while I stopped wearing them. I adjusted them properly, then hit the radio for it to play some Framing Hanley, it seemed to be the soundtrack of my life at the moment, I switched the music to Hollywood Undead. I sighed as I plugged in my hair straightened as the music filled the bathroom.

I ran the straightened through my hair to blend it with the extensions, then grabbing my teasing comb I backcombed it, giving me that edgy sort of scene hair I had been accustomed to wearing, only it wasn’t three feet high. I pushed my bangs into my face and slipped on the beanie. I pondered through my makeup collection after doing my usual face routine. I settled on doing a pin up style, with a neutral lip. I turned everything off and grabbed my phone from the charger and my keys shoving them in my bag as I walked down to my car outside. I climbed in and made my ten minute drive to downtown. I parked outside of the flower shop I worked at. I hated it, even more now, because of the memories. I was an hour early, I decided to walk down the coffee shop. I entered and the familiar smell off coffee grounds hit me, it smelled lovely. I ordered an iced coffee and a raspberry pastry, I made my way to a small table with my order. I sat there uncomfortably eating my breakfast and sipping my drink.

I made my way to the flower shop and entered I was still a little early, the owner of the store stood at the counter and said I could clock in early. I sighed and put on my apron then walked behind the camera. A new guy stood there clipping sets of flowers for arrangements. I tried not to acknowledge him.

“I’m Jordan,” he smiled turning around. He had a slight bit of a beard and wore similar glasses as I did. His cream colored v-neck fit perfectly to his boy and his tight pants rolled up to his knees complemented his vans and perfectly sculpted legs. He had an Scottish accent, but I could clearly understand his words, unlike Oliver’s girlfriend. I weakly smiled back.

“I’m Taylor,” I sighed and walked to the cash register where someone was ready to purchase an arrangement. I grabbed the rose bouquet he asked for out of the refrigerated flower thing behind me. I put it on the counter.

I scanned the barcode onto the computer, “Twenty-three pounds” the man paid in exactly the right amount and left, I threw his receipt in the garbage can. Tom walked in with Amanda, she stopped and looked at flowers and little arrangements around the store, Tom walked up to the counter.

“Can I get that white rose thingy behind yeh?” Tom pointed and I grabbed the flowers, “I need ‘em for a shoot with Amanda.”

I nodded and he purchased them, leaving with Amanda tagging behind him. I sighed and pulled out my phone checking the messages from Nicholls and Vegan, both the same asking if I was alright. I sighed and didn’t reply. Time was passing and the store was practically dead. I looked up to the clock, reading 4:50. Ten minutes until I got to leave, and everyday at this time Curtis would show up and buy me one of the fake flowers just to make me feel special. He knew they wouldn’t die and that was why he got me them. I tear slid down my cheek, I wiped it away and walked to the back where the apron rack was. I set mine up and grabbed my things from the cubby. I waited the extra minute and I clocked out.

I slid into my car and drove home, I passed by Curtis’ house and felt the guilt overcome me. Something had to be done, I couldn’t feel like this for the rest of my life. I entered the flat, I saw Lee standing quietly in the doorway, awkwardly with a bag in his hand .

“I brought some brownie mix and I was hoping we could make them and talk. I don’t like seeing yeh like this,” Lee stated softly, I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. We were grabbing the ingredients out of the fridge, then we went to the cupboard for a bowl, we both reached out and grabbed the same bowl, out hands touching. I felt the familiar spark on my spine, that I got from Curtis.

“So, what do you want to know Malia?” I asked as I poured the brownie powder into the bowl, he cracked the eggs and gave me a look. “Okay, fine,” I sighed, “I couldn’t do it anymore Lee, there was no love anymore, no spark, everything felt cold, he would yell at me and get mad, it would be a rare occasion we would sleep together.”

“I didn’t need to know about the last one,” Lee mumbled,

“Not like that, like he wouldn’t stay over and anytime I went over there he usually wanted sex and when we did there wasn’t anything, he was rough and it just wasn’t loving.”

“Then why’d yeh stay with him all along?”

“I loved him and he loved me and I guess it died, and I miss him quite terribly, but I know I need to move on. But yesterday he looked so hurt when I told him it was over and he thought there was somebody else and I-I…” I broke down sobbing, Lee turned me around to face him, his bright eyes now dull but still a piercing color. He pulled me into a hug

“It’ll be alright, yeh got people that love yeh,” he murmured rubbing my back.

“Like who?” I sobbed onto his shoulder.

“Yeh got yeh mum, and the guys, Amanda loves yeh to bits yeh like her sister, Olleh’s parents, everybody’s parents, and me,” he whispered.