They Always Told Me I was Gorgeous In a Way

Max’s POV

I walked out of Leah’s house with only one question in my head. Why did she lie to me about Hannah being a rape baby? I don’t get what she’s so worked up over. She could tell me the truth and I would still love her.

I opened my car door and I got into the drivers seat. I sighed and pushed the key into the ignition. I heard the car roar as my foot pressed against the pedal lightly. I switched the gear to reverse and I slowly backed out of Leah’s driveway. I wonder what she was going to tell me and why was my opinion about it so important.

Leah’s POV

I smacked my forehead in frustration and I sighed. My nightmare will never end. Hannah ran off and if it wasn’t for Allie I could have been done and over with the situation and would feel way better than I do right now.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Allie poke her head from the inside of her room. She looked at me and I rolled my eyes. She cautiously crept her way out of her room and to the living room.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you guys.” Allie murmured.

“It’s fine.” I grumbled. It wasn’t really OK with me but I’m not in the mood to fight with my friend. She shot me a small smile and walked away. I glanced over at the clock and it read 7:30. I began to walk over to Hannah’s room and I knocked gently.

“Hannah, it’s time for your bath.” I said. Hannah bolted out of her room and she ran into the bathroom. I slowly walked my way over to the bathroom to find Hannah trying to pull the lever to the shower so it would be set to warm. I smiled and helped her. I quickly stripped her of her clothing and she got into the bathtub. I started to think how things might have been different; if I stayed in jersey when my mom came with the police. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this predicament. Maybe I would still be with Max. But I’ll never know now.

Once I finished with Hannah’s bath I wrapped her in a warm towel and I picked her up. She nuzzled her head at the crook of my neck and her breathing deepened. I quickly walked into her room and changed her into her PJ’s. I quietly tucked her in to her bed and I kissed her forehead. I walked out of her room and closed her door. I walked over to the couch and decided to watch my favorite movie. The Rocky Horror Picture show. The phone began to sound and I picked it up.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey Leah.” I heard Max’s smooth voice.

“Oh hi. What’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing. I just was wondering what you were going to tell me.” He sighed.

“Oh. About that; it gets very complicated and I hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings but Hannah isn’t a rape baby, she’s your daughter.” I bit my lip to the point where I could taste my own blood. He didn’t say anything. Not for a very long time. He just sat on the other line breathing heavily. I expected that from him.

“So, Hannah is my kid.” He mused.

“ Yeah.” I confirm.

“ Why are lying to me?” He asked abruptly. My eyes widened so much that I thought they were going to pop out of my skull.

“I’m not lying to you. What makes you think I would?” I asked enraged.

“Well, lets see, you leave me here, not knowing where the hell you took off to. You didn’t tell me that you were pregnant and now you come and tell me that Hannah is my kid. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” me exclaimed.

“ I couldn’t tell you because I knew this was what your reaction would be! This is why I didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy. I didn’t want to have to take this shit from anyone!” I yelled. I completely forgot that Hannah was sleeping in the other room.

“ I’m not going to deal with this shit.” He muttered before ending the call. I angrily slam the phone down and cross my arms over my chest. I knew he was going to react that way; he doesn’t need to act like he’s on his period.

“Mommy, why were you yelling?” A small voice asked. I turned around and Hannah was rubbing her eye sleepily.

“Hannah, just go back to bed. Mommy needs some time to think.” I sighed. She shrugged her shoulders and walked back to her room. Once I heard her close her door and grabbed my hair and began to pull. My problems keep growing and growing and I think they will never stop growing.

Next day

I lay on my bed, looking at the ceiling with an empty feeling inside. That’s how it’s destined to always be. I’m always supposed to be alone and no one can honestly be called my friend because they end up leaving anyways. Just like I did four years ago.

My mind was still wrapped around the argument that me and Max had yesterday. It keeps replaying in my head over and over again and it’s killing me. Why does he have to be so oblivious to the fact that Hannah is his kid? Why can’t he see that this wasn’t supposed to happen?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone open the door and I tilted my head to the side. Hannah was at the door while holding her teddy. She looked worried. I open my arms out and she quickly runs towards the bed. She jumps in and she wraps her pale arms around me.

“Mommy, don’t be sad, be happy.” She murmured. If she only knew what her father put me through.

“I am happy Hannah.” I lied. I am a piece of shit for lying to my only daughter.

“No you’re not. I can tell.” She huffed.

“It’s OK. Really. Just let mommy think to herself.” I sighed. She nodded and stayed still in my arms while my emotions got the best of me. My tears started to fall down my face. Hannah looked up at me and wiped my tears away with her small thumb.

I’m too lucky to have a daughter like her.