And I Stumble
Not Like A Lover
Never found out why you left him,
But this answer begs that question.
I never did find out why you left your loving husband of nearly fifteen years. You never bothered to tell me. And I never bothered to ask.
It's not like I wanted to know either. It would only make what we were doing even worse. If I knew the reason you walked out on my best friend, the guilt of this - of us would be too much to bear. It wasn't like it was particularily easy to deal with now, but I managed to push that thought out of my mind. It wasn't hard to push that thought out of my mind when we were fucking either - being completely honest.
I know I probably sounds like a horrible person right now. And that's what I felt like at first. But after a while I got over it. I started to blame you, Billie Joe. Obviously you weren't good enough for your wife. Why else would she leave you?
Which brings us back to the first question. Why did she leave you? I sometimes find myself wondering if you even knew the answer.
What bothers me the most though is that you're probably sitting at home or with Tre and thinking that this is all my fault. That I lied to you. That Adrienne left you and your boys because we planned it. That's not how it went though. She just showed up at my door one day. It was 6 days after you called me and told me the news. You cried to me that you were getting a divorce. I had attempted to comfort you, but I was at a loss.
I was angry. At Adrienne. How could she do this to you? After all the work you had put into your marriage and she just decides to leave. You had admitted to me, only weeks earlier, that things with you two had been going so well.
Then Adrienne showed up at my door. She looked like she had been crying. My anger disappeared. I remember feeling guilty that I let her in and let her cry to me. But after that all of my thoughts just became a blur. I didn't mean to, but when she kissed me with her soft lips I couldn't resist. You would know that though. You would know how irresistable she was. You were married to her for a long time. You know the deal.
Back to where I was though. Nothing had ever happened between Adrienne and I. We were never sneaking around behind your back. I never intended this. I never intended to take your wife and band away, all at the same fucking time. You have to understand that.
There was nothing between Adrienne and me. Never. Well, there was that one drunken night. It doesn't count though - or at least that's what we always said. It was so long ago that I nearly forgot about it. You two weren't even married yet. You were just on and off. It was mistake. We didn't want to hurt you so we never told you.
I guess it's a little late for that, isn't it?
Back to Adrienne and the ever so confusing subject of us.
What were we? It wasn't like we were really in a relationship. I didn't love you and you didn't love me. We weren't meant to be. It's not like I was the reason you left Billie. At least - I don't think so. And if it was, then I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Just keep it to yourself.
Whatever your reasoning was, it doesn't matter. I'll be honest right now. I don't care about you. At least, not like a lover. But I don't have a reason to.
Don't get upset. Don't let tears stain your pretty, little face. You know you don't love me either. We both know that the only reason you're here is to fuck me.
Not that it bothers me. Because it doesn't.
Not one single-fucking-bit.
But this answer begs that question.
I never did find out why you left your loving husband of nearly fifteen years. You never bothered to tell me. And I never bothered to ask.
It's not like I wanted to know either. It would only make what we were doing even worse. If I knew the reason you walked out on my best friend, the guilt of this - of us would be too much to bear. It wasn't like it was particularily easy to deal with now, but I managed to push that thought out of my mind. It wasn't hard to push that thought out of my mind when we were fucking either - being completely honest.
I know I probably sounds like a horrible person right now. And that's what I felt like at first. But after a while I got over it. I started to blame you, Billie Joe. Obviously you weren't good enough for your wife. Why else would she leave you?
Which brings us back to the first question. Why did she leave you? I sometimes find myself wondering if you even knew the answer.
What bothers me the most though is that you're probably sitting at home or with Tre and thinking that this is all my fault. That I lied to you. That Adrienne left you and your boys because we planned it. That's not how it went though. She just showed up at my door one day. It was 6 days after you called me and told me the news. You cried to me that you were getting a divorce. I had attempted to comfort you, but I was at a loss.
I was angry. At Adrienne. How could she do this to you? After all the work you had put into your marriage and she just decides to leave. You had admitted to me, only weeks earlier, that things with you two had been going so well.
Then Adrienne showed up at my door. She looked like she had been crying. My anger disappeared. I remember feeling guilty that I let her in and let her cry to me. But after that all of my thoughts just became a blur. I didn't mean to, but when she kissed me with her soft lips I couldn't resist. You would know that though. You would know how irresistable she was. You were married to her for a long time. You know the deal.
Back to where I was though. Nothing had ever happened between Adrienne and I. We were never sneaking around behind your back. I never intended this. I never intended to take your wife and band away, all at the same fucking time. You have to understand that.
There was nothing between Adrienne and me. Never. Well, there was that one drunken night. It doesn't count though - or at least that's what we always said. It was so long ago that I nearly forgot about it. You two weren't even married yet. You were just on and off. It was mistake. We didn't want to hurt you so we never told you.
I guess it's a little late for that, isn't it?
Back to Adrienne and the ever so confusing subject of us.
What were we? It wasn't like we were really in a relationship. I didn't love you and you didn't love me. We weren't meant to be. It's not like I was the reason you left Billie. At least - I don't think so. And if it was, then I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Just keep it to yourself.
Whatever your reasoning was, it doesn't matter. I'll be honest right now. I don't care about you. At least, not like a lover. But I don't have a reason to.
Don't get upset. Don't let tears stain your pretty, little face. You know you don't love me either. We both know that the only reason you're here is to fuck me.
Not that it bothers me. Because it doesn't.
Not one single-fucking-bit.