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Insanity Has a Face
I Want You
I couldn’t really think of anything to do today on my day off. I suppose I could make funeral arrangements and shit but I don’t feel like it yet…hmm.. I’ll just drive around all day like I do sometimes after work when reality wears down on me like a weight. I unintentionally headed directly to Haight-Asbury district to make myself feel whole again. It’s like 8 in the morning right now and I’m itching for some coffee. I didn’t want to get caught up in all of the hyper ness and chaos in the big chains like star bucks and hunted for a local one. I found a real hidden one called The Diamond in the Rough. I smiled at the appropriate name and the flatly tuned bell jangled overhead. There was short girl with black hair behind the counter with her back turned to me.
My heart skipped 5,000 beats with the possibility of it being her. “What can I get you, sweetheart?” her voice was soothing like the guitars of my favorite Beatles’ song, Across The Universe. “ Uh can I just get some strong, black coffee?” I muttered faintly. “Sure thing, deary, but one thing…” “What?” I practically whispered. She turned around and gasped loudly as she recognized me. “Tell me what’s wrong.” she replied softly looking directly into my soul and handed me my coffee. “Nothing.” that was such a lie and she knew too. “mhmmm.” she replied sarcastically. “Anyways how are you? Not that “I’m fine” crap, okay?” she demanded. “Do you badger everyone like this?” I asked. “Only to the ones I like” she laughed melodically. “Well..?” she kept prying me to tell her and I finally gave in. “Uh, my mom died a minute after I was wondering what life would be like without her. She came into the E.R. where I worked during the time I was working and died.” I kept saying died almost trying to convince myself that it indeed happen. It just sounded so weird saying it aloud.
The girl grabbed her own mug and came around to sit down next to me and put a comforting hand upon mine. “I’m Art and you are?” she introduced herself. “Jude” I replied and we shook hands. “I’m really sorry.” she said sincerely and held onto my hand a little bit longer. She let go, unfortunately because her touch was heavenly! Firm & strong but still soft and warm. She pulled me into a hug and whispered, “You didn’t kill her it was just fate. I am very sorry though.” her breath tickled my ear and I was almost blushing. Art looked up at my face and in her eyes was a hint of.. Hope? I took that as a sign to kiss her because I wanted to so badly. I corrected all those previous mistakes of acting like an idiot while joy, happiness, exhilaration, and jubilation swelled & burst in my stomach threatening to destroy my insides. Art pulled away, smiling and biting her lip a bit shyly. We took a sip of our drinks as a comfortable silence sat between us.
“So Jude, are you a doctor or something?” she inquired eventually. “No just an emergency room nurse.” I answered lamely, I wanted to tell her I could have been a doctor but I decided not to! I’m a genius you know but with the way I live my life you wouldn’t think so! I didn’t say any of that but instead, “Are you a model?” I half heartedly flirted because I seriously think she could be. She smiled “Haha no. I’m an artist on the side, I’m obviously working here, and will be a student at San Fran State in September.” She replied. “ Are you from California?” I continued the conversation. “No, I’m originally from Chicago but for the past year I had been traveling Europe.” She said animatedly. “ Really? Like where? I have been to Ireland, Wales, England, Scotland, France, and went to school in Germany.” I was really excited to be able to share this with her and we have something in common. It has been a very long time since I have had an actual nice conversation with people who were interested in me. “ Well I started out in Austria, then.. Switzerland, Germany, France, Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia, Netherlands, Ireland, Italy, Rumania, Russia, Poland, Hungary, Turkey, and Syria. I spent about two months in each country. Oh I hope you don’t have a girlfriend because you’re mine now.” she teased. “ I dunno why you’re joking because I’m dead serious.” I was mock serious. She smiled a great big smile and laughed. “ Okay sweetie, this is the major question! Worth all the money in the world!” she announced in a game show voice.
“ Music.” she uttered that earth shattering word. “Hmmmm, to just list a few… The Who; The Beatles; Bob Dylan; Pink Floyd; Frank Sinatra; Coldplay; Simon & Garfunkel; The Doors, and The Rolling Stones.” I listed. She attacked my lips with hers swiftly and then returned behind the counter. “ Thursday, noon. That is when I will see you next.” she claimed writing on a napkin. “ Are you predicting?” I asked in wonder. “ No silly, here.” she handed me the napkin that had her name and number on it. “Oh okay!” I was a bit TOO enthusiastic, she didn’t mind it. “So bye I guess?” I said uncertain if this was the end of a great morning. “Sorry, I’d love to have you stay but… I can’t focus with such a cute distraction.” she smiled sheepishly. I smiled “Bye.” she blew me a kiss.
My heart skipped 5,000 beats with the possibility of it being her. “What can I get you, sweetheart?” her voice was soothing like the guitars of my favorite Beatles’ song, Across The Universe. “ Uh can I just get some strong, black coffee?” I muttered faintly. “Sure thing, deary, but one thing…” “What?” I practically whispered. She turned around and gasped loudly as she recognized me. “Tell me what’s wrong.” she replied softly looking directly into my soul and handed me my coffee. “Nothing.” that was such a lie and she knew too. “mhmmm.” she replied sarcastically. “Anyways how are you? Not that “I’m fine” crap, okay?” she demanded. “Do you badger everyone like this?” I asked. “Only to the ones I like” she laughed melodically. “Well..?” she kept prying me to tell her and I finally gave in. “Uh, my mom died a minute after I was wondering what life would be like without her. She came into the E.R. where I worked during the time I was working and died.” I kept saying died almost trying to convince myself that it indeed happen. It just sounded so weird saying it aloud.
The girl grabbed her own mug and came around to sit down next to me and put a comforting hand upon mine. “I’m Art and you are?” she introduced herself. “Jude” I replied and we shook hands. “I’m really sorry.” she said sincerely and held onto my hand a little bit longer. She let go, unfortunately because her touch was heavenly! Firm & strong but still soft and warm. She pulled me into a hug and whispered, “You didn’t kill her it was just fate. I am very sorry though.” her breath tickled my ear and I was almost blushing. Art looked up at my face and in her eyes was a hint of.. Hope? I took that as a sign to kiss her because I wanted to so badly. I corrected all those previous mistakes of acting like an idiot while joy, happiness, exhilaration, and jubilation swelled & burst in my stomach threatening to destroy my insides. Art pulled away, smiling and biting her lip a bit shyly. We took a sip of our drinks as a comfortable silence sat between us.
“So Jude, are you a doctor or something?” she inquired eventually. “No just an emergency room nurse.” I answered lamely, I wanted to tell her I could have been a doctor but I decided not to! I’m a genius you know but with the way I live my life you wouldn’t think so! I didn’t say any of that but instead, “Are you a model?” I half heartedly flirted because I seriously think she could be. She smiled “Haha no. I’m an artist on the side, I’m obviously working here, and will be a student at San Fran State in September.” She replied. “ Are you from California?” I continued the conversation. “No, I’m originally from Chicago but for the past year I had been traveling Europe.” She said animatedly. “ Really? Like where? I have been to Ireland, Wales, England, Scotland, France, and went to school in Germany.” I was really excited to be able to share this with her and we have something in common. It has been a very long time since I have had an actual nice conversation with people who were interested in me. “ Well I started out in Austria, then.. Switzerland, Germany, France, Yugoslavia, Czechoslovakia, Netherlands, Ireland, Italy, Rumania, Russia, Poland, Hungary, Turkey, and Syria. I spent about two months in each country. Oh I hope you don’t have a girlfriend because you’re mine now.” she teased. “ I dunno why you’re joking because I’m dead serious.” I was mock serious. She smiled a great big smile and laughed. “ Okay sweetie, this is the major question! Worth all the money in the world!” she announced in a game show voice.
“ Music.” she uttered that earth shattering word. “Hmmmm, to just list a few… The Who; The Beatles; Bob Dylan; Pink Floyd; Frank Sinatra; Coldplay; Simon & Garfunkel; The Doors, and The Rolling Stones.” I listed. She attacked my lips with hers swiftly and then returned behind the counter. “ Thursday, noon. That is when I will see you next.” she claimed writing on a napkin. “ Are you predicting?” I asked in wonder. “ No silly, here.” she handed me the napkin that had her name and number on it. “Oh okay!” I was a bit TOO enthusiastic, she didn’t mind it. “So bye I guess?” I said uncertain if this was the end of a great morning. “Sorry, I’d love to have you stay but… I can’t focus with such a cute distraction.” she smiled sheepishly. I smiled “Bye.” she blew me a kiss.