Walls

Sydney was nervous as she pulled up at the house of Jack Barakat and Amanda Litty. She knocked on the door and when it opened she laid eyes on V.

“Hey, Jack said you were supposed to come by. We’re in the back having some brunch.”

Sydney followed the girl to the backyard where there was a food tray and a pitcher of what looked like orange juice with raspberries in it. Sydney sat down in beside the black haired girl and Amanda smiled at her.

“Morning Amanda.”

“Morning Sydney. When Jack said that you were going to come by I wasn’t sure if he was just lying or not.”

Sydney laughed and shrugged, “I guess I could see that.” she eyed the pitcher and then the flutes on the table, “I’m guessing that this isn’t just plain orange juice?”

Amanda shook her head, “Mimosas.”

Sydney laughed and she shook her head. “Okay.” She poured herself a glass and sipped from it. They ate and caught up and Sydney felt herself relax. She felt as if she hadn’t relaxed in two years.

Two hours later Sydney, V and Amanda were walking away from Amanda’s car and into the mall. Once there the three girls walked around for a bit and then Sydney stopped in front of an advertisement. The two girls stopped and turned around to look at what Sydney was looking at.

The black haired girl smirked slightly, remembering the shoot. Amanda looked closer at it and then smiled at Sydney. “That’s amazing, Sydney.”

Sydney laughed, somewhat uncomfortable. “Thanks.” The picture was for a perfume, but she was nude. Not that you could see anything, because of the way that she had turned her body, but it still made her uncomfortable. “V was the one who did the make-up.”

Amanda looked at her, her green eyes wide. Sydney’s body was covered in body make-up, flowers coming up her back. “That’s make-up?” Amanda asked, gesturing to the picture. “I figured that was put on digitally.”

“Nope. It was actually pretty awkward.” Evangeline said. “I’m not too good with nudity, and so...”

Sydney laughed and nodded, “Yeah. It was really awkward. All that was heard was the background music she always plays.”

“Who do you play the most?”

“Third Eye Blind.”

Amanda laughed and nodded, “I was going to ask if it was them or Blink.”

The trio walked around more, a few fashionista’s stopping and asking Sydney for pictures.

“Sydney?” Evangeline asked when the three were laying around Amanda’s house a few hours later.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you leave like that?” Sydney shook her head, “I don’t know. I was scared.”

“But-” the black haired girl was cut off by the door opening. A group of guys walked in and Sydney froze. Alex looked up, and the smile on his face faltered.

“Alex...” she said softly.

A few beats of silence took place and then he said softly, “Wanna take a walk?”

Sydney nodded and got up, feeling all of the eyes of the group on her. As she walked out into the sun, she felt her heart in her throat. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and they walked in silence.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.” She said finally. “I never meant to hurt you. I never even meant to have sex with you.”

Alex nodded his hands in his hoodie pockets. “I know.” They continued in silence, “But you could’ve stopped it.”

“I know.” She said softly.

“Then why did you let it happen?”

She sighed and ran her hand through her dirty blonde hair. “I was so overcome with emotion. You had just told me you loved me and...”

“And you thought the best way to respond to that was to have sex with me. Cross out mixed signals.”

She sighed and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, “I know what it sounds like. Hell, I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me. What I did was shitty and there is no way to explain it other than I was...scared.”

Alex stopped walking and faced the girl; “You were scared?” she nodded and looked at the orange nails of her toes. She heard him sigh and she looked up. The look in his eyes was unreadable and Sydney didn’t know what to think.

“Why were you scared?”

“I don’t believe in love. So how could someone love me?”

“That’s bullshit, Sydney.” Alex said his eyes hardening. She could sense that his mood had changed as well, and she knew that she was to blame. “You believe in love. You just don’t trust yourself.”

“No, Alex, I don’t believe in love.”

“This was a fucking mistake.” He said and turned around and walked away.

Sydney bit her lip, tears coming to her eyes. She had upset him again. It seemed like that all she was doing as of late was upsetting the people who are or were close to her. She walked slowly back to Amanda’s house in time to see Alex’s car pulling out of the driveway. He sped off in the opposite direction of her, and she bit her lip harder.

She walked to the back where Zack and V were sitting by the salt water pool. The girl got up and embraced Sydney, and that’s when Sydney cracked. Tears flooded from her eyes and the girl squeezed her. Sydney wrapped her arms around V's back, her hands landing on her shoulder blades. “I’m such a fuck up, V. I don’t know what else to do.”

“Give him a little more time, hon. He’ll come around.”

“No he won’t.” Sydney sniffed. “He hates me.”

“No he doesn’t and yes he will. He asked me to set up a meeting between you two so you could talk.”

“Really?” she asked pulling away and wiping her eyes. The black haired girl nodded, and wiped some of the tears away. “Yeah. So just give him more time. I mean, the first time he sees you since you left is at a trial. There’s a lot of emotions that go along with that.”

The two walked back over to where Zack was still sitting and Sydney sighed. “So you both moved out to California after high school?”

They shook their heads, “Not together. I moved out there first, started school and then after a while Zack moved out there.”

“Let me tell you those were some of the toughest months. I mean, I saw her on tour, but only on the Cali dates, and then when I was home, I was still away.”

Sydney nodded and then shook her head, her thoughts going back to the boy who left her. “Why would Alex want me?” Sydney asked softly. “I had sex with him and then left him.”

“Sydney, that was two years ago.” Zack said softly. “I mean, yeah, he’s upset. But he still...”

He paused and Evangeline continued, “He still really cares.”

The three sat in silence and then Jack ran out of the house, tackling Zack into the pool. The two girls laughed and Amanda walked out shaking her head laughing as well. The two popped up and Zack dunked Jack under the water. When he let him back up, he free styled to the edge, and placed his arms on either side of his girlfriend’s legs, “You’re so lucky that I didn’t have my cell phone in my pocket Jack, or so help me god...”

Evangeline giggled and Zack raised an eyebrow at her and pulled her in. she squeaked and jumped on his back as soon as she came up. He swam them over to the other edge, away from the others and Amanda sat next to Sydney. “Sydney, he really does care.”

She shrugged, knowing that they were trying to be supportive, but she wanted to talk about something else. “When are you all coming back out to California?”

“Well the tour picks back up in a few days I guess, since the trial is over and whatnot.” Jack said lifting himself out of the pool.

“Oh, so you didn’t cancel the whole tour?”

“No.” Jack said, “We just told them that we had to get off for a few days, and that we’d let them know when we could return. Flyzik called this morning and we leave in two.”

Sydney nodded, “Makes sense.” And then she said more to herself than anyone, “Life stops for no one.”