Walls

Two days later, Sydney was with Amanda and V, seeing off the guys. Sydney stood there awkwardly as V and Zack, Amanda and Jack, Rian and Kara said their goodbyes.

Alex walked over, “Makes you feel kinda out of place, doesn’t it?” she laughed and nodded, “Yeah, just a bit.”

He laughed, “I know the feeling. Happens basically every time we tour.”

She smirked, “What, Alex Gaskarth never has a girl to say goodbye to?”

“Nope.” She nodded, unsure of what to say next. Luckily he continued a few seconds later, “But I guess that it’s better in some ways. I mean...it makes it easier. I just have to say goodbye to my parents before getting in the cab.”

She nodded, “Yeah. Well I can see your side in that. I mean, I guess.”

He laughed and shook his head, “Why so nervous, Syd?”

“I don’t know. Goodbyes were never really my thing.” There was then heaviness in the air around them. Sydney mentally scolded herself for saying that, because of the situation she had put them in again, and Alex cleared his throat.

“So when I get back, you’ll fly out and we’ll talk right?”

“Yeah.” She knew she owed him that much. She wasn’t allowed to ask if he could come see her; she had to go see him.

“And you’ll be fine in-”

“Alex, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m a big girl. And for the most part V will be there with me.” Alex chuckled and bit then his lip.

He wasn’t sure if he was comfortable falling back into their old routine. He wasn’t sure if his heart could take it again. But then again, he had three fourths of a tour to finish out.

Five minutes later Alex was sitting next to Jack on the plane. He gazed out the window, and then pulled out his notebook and a pen. He looked at the blank lines for a few seconds and then began to scribble.

Sydney was at Amanda and Jack’s house, the four girls laying out in the backyard. Although V was sitting up and had on a hoodie. Sydney laughed and shook her head, propping herself up on her elbows. “So what’s up with you three?”

“What do you mean?” Amanda asked, rolling over.

“I mean, all of you have been with your guys for a long while now...”

“Oh.” Amanda said and then shrugged, “I don’t know. I like just living with Jack. Things aren’t complicated, and I think that we’re too young for marriage.”

“And as for Rian and I, I don’t know. I think we’re ready but I don’t think that he is...” Kara trailed off and then Sydney turned to the black haired girl. She had heard from Marla that Marla had mentioned to Zack about putting a ring on her finger. She wanted to know Evangeline’s opinion on the matter.

“I would love to marry Zack eventually. But as for right now, he just needs to be free and spread his wings.”

“You’re making it sound like you’re taking a break.” The girl half smiled bitterly, and Sydney and the other two girls sat up abruptly, “You’re not taking a break are you?” Sydney asked quietly.

“No, we’re not taking a break.” The girl replied softly, “But sometimes I wonder. Ya know when he’s away, I wonder if he wishes he were single.”

“Why would you wonder that?” Amanda asked, “I mean, it’s obvious that you two are in love, and that he’s crazy about you.”

“I know that.” she said softly, “I just think that he may want to be freer.”

“Evangeline Marie-”

“Don’t use my full name Amanda, please.” She said softly.

The three other girls were quiet for a bit and then Sydney nodded. “Come with me.” She said getting up and offering her a hand. The girl took it and followed Sydney back into the house. Sydney called her sister-in-law and then looked stubbornly at the black haired girl. When the woman on the other end picked up, Sydney put her on speaker.

“Marla, tell me again what all you and Zack talked about?”

“Well he showed me the pictures of him and his girlfriend when they went to Italy and France, and then he got this smile that lit up his whole face. It was like...when he talked about her; he could see his whole future with her. Like she was the only one he would ever see for the rest of his life. And then when I saw the pictures of them together, playing in the snow; I don’t know...he didn’t say anything but the look on their faces when they were together was one of the most beautiful things that I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“And was he surprised that you asked when he was going to put a ring on her finger?” Evangeline gave Sydney a look, her eyebrow raised and Sydney gave her a stern look as if to say, ‘Just listen.’

“He wasn’t surprised, per se. He just said that for now, he was pretty sure that they were just happy being young and in love with each other. But I could tell that there was a future possibility.”

“Thanks. Well I gotta go, Mars, I’ll call you later so I can talk to Jesse too.”

“Okay. Bye, Sydney.”

When Sydney pressed end, she looked at the girl her hands on her hips, “Do you still think that he’d be happier without you?”

“I didn’t say he’d be happier without me.” She replied softly, “Just happier to be on break while he’s on tour.”

“Well do you still believe that?”

“No.” she said softly. “I’ll be right back.” Sydney watched as the girl walked to a back room and Sydney walked back outside.

“What’d you do?” Amanda asked, noting that the girl hadn’t returned with Sydney.

“Oh, just made her see that she’s crazy for thinking that Zack would rather be on a break while he’s on tour.”

“Good.” Amanda said finally, “She’s always had this problem. She constantly thinks that people would be better off and happier without her.”

Sydney was quiet for a bit and then sighed, “She has a strong fear of rejection.”

“Why?” Kara asked and then Sydney sighed, contemplating if she should tell them what Evangeline had told her.

“She wasn’t widely accepted where she came from in Texas. People were extremely rude and mean and used her all the time. So she’s basically been programmed to believe that all people will be that way. It’s hard to break that cycle.”

After a few minutes of silence Evangeline came back, a smile on her face and her eyes bright. “All better now.” She said, her cheeks still a bit red.

“Good, because I’m hungry!” Sydney said giggling some.

Sitting at the table, Sydney felt a strange sense of familiarness. Their waitress walked up and the girl looked at Sydney.

“Sydney Maxwell?”

Sydney raised an eyebrow and nodded, “Yeah?”

“How have you been?”

“Good.”

“So how’s living out in California?” the girl pressed.

“It’s good.” Sydney replied and Evangeline snickered some and then the girl turned to her. She made a slight face and then noticed Amanda and Kara.

“Oh hey guys. What’s up?”

“Nothing really. Just taking a lunch break.” Kara said, “How have you been?”

“Pretty good. Still going to school. I haven’t picked my major yet.”

“That’s good.” Kara said, a smile on her lips.

“Yeah.” And then it was as if she suddenly realized that she was at work and laughed nervously. “Sorry. Uhm, what can I get you all to drink?”

“Sweet tea.” Sydney, Kara and V replied.

“Water.” Amanda said, and then the girl was off.

Sydney looked at the two in front of her, “So what was that about?”

Amanda laughed and shrugged. “She graduated with us. And she always talks about how jealous she is that you were able to leave and model.”

“Why do people think that it’s an easy industry?” she asked, shaking her head. “It’s so hard to break out and then stay on top.”

The girl brought their drinks and set them on the table, “Do you know what you want?”

“No, just a few more minutes.” V replied, not looking up.

The girl walked off and then the black haired girl grinned from behind the curtain of her black hair. The other girls laughed and shook their heads.

“So, while we’re on the topic of your job...” Kara trailed off. Kara modeled too, and Sydney found it comforting that she knew what it was like. “What’s it like to do those high fashion shows and stuff?”

Sydney shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s just runway.” Kara laughed and nodded.

The four girls talked for a bit, and then Evangeline yawned. “I’m beat. Manny, ready to go back to your place so I can nap?”

Amanda laughed and shrugged. “Sure, I guess. I’ll go to the gym while you’re asleep.” The two said their goodbyes and then Kara and Sydney were left alone.

“I have to walk Tyson and Stella. Wanna walk them with me?” Kara asked. Sydney nodded, and followed Kara to her house in her dad’s car. Once there, Sydney parked at the curb and followed Kara inside. The two dogs came running up to her and then sniffed Sydney. Once they found that she was suitable they each jumped on her, causing her to fall to the ground.

“They’re very affectionate.” Kara said laughing, returning from fetching their leashes.

The two girls and two dogs then got into Kara’s car and she drove them to a park in her car and then they all got out. Sydney was holding Tyson’s leash and the two girls walked around for a bit and then Kara asked quietly, “Are things better between you and Alex?”

Sydney bit her lip, “They’re getting there.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Sydney sighed and nodded, “Sure.” She then bit her lip, unsure of where exactly to start, and when she opened her mouth, she was interrupted by a sudden downpour of rain.

The two girls ran to Kara’s car, the dogs basically dragging them and once all four bodies were in the car, Sydney laughed some, trying to tame her hair.

“Well, I guess you’ll tell me over a mug of hot cocoa.” Kara said laughing.

“Sounds good.”