Black Star Love
Chapter 38
I expected Danny to speak up or say something, but he didn’t, instead he rested his head on my shoulder and started to sob. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just wanted to know who Steven was.
I knew that if I spoke it was only going to make him cry more, so I just patted him on the back. Slowly he eventually stopped sobbing. When I looked down at him, he had fallen asleep. I reached over and placed a pillow under his head.
Before leaving the room, I grabbed Taco of the floor, who had also fallen asleep and brought him downstairs. I was heading into the kitchen, but stopped and headed up to the restroom.
I took out the scale from under the sink and stepped on it. 135 dam! I’m over weight. I bent over the toiled and stuck my finger down my throat. I gagged a couple of times before, I threw up.
I heard Taco scratching outside the door. So I quickly put the scale away and washed my mouth. That horrible flavor you get when you throw up was stuck in my mouth and it wouldn’t go away.
**
Since me and Danny work together, we decided to drive together in his car, that way we save gas money and stuff like that. I work on the second floor and he works below me.
I was messing with some bottoms in the studio, when I started feeling dizzy. I was guessing it was from not eating and throwing up. I had been at if for about a month now, and I was at 125. I had lost ten pounds in one month.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I hated myself more and even more for doing this to myself.
I took a grip of the person standing next to me to keep my balance. Thankfully it was my assistant John. He wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me stand, “Frank, are you ok?” He sounded worried.
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.”
He pulled a chair for me, “Sit.”
“Thanks John, I’m going to be ok…” Boy was I lying.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I‘m sure,” I smiled even though I felt like shit.
“Alright,” He nodded, “you should go home and rest.”
“Yeah, think I might do that.” I think he was right, but I knew I didn’t need to rest, I need food … but I don’t want food, it’s bad for me.
I stopped thinking, ‘cause it was making me dizzy again. I used all the energy I had and grabbed some stuff to work on at home. I shoved everything into my bag and dialed Danny’s extension.
I explained to him that I wasn’t feeling well and that I was taking the bus home, since we shared a ride. “Nonsense, I’ll drive you home.”
“But that means u would have to leave work early.”
“If that’s what it takes to make sure that you get home safe then that’s what I’ll do. Wait for me at the front,” The line went dead after that. He didn’t even give me a chance to argue with him.
By the time I got downstairs, e was outside already. As soon as he saw me, he took my bag and flung it over his shoulder. “How do you feel?”
“Like throwing up …” I replied placing my hand over my tummy. I wasn’t lying. I do feel like throwing up, but not on purpose.
“Come on,” He took my hand in his and lead me to the car.
I must have fallen asleep on the way home cause I woke up in the living room couch, My head over Danny’s lap. He was stroking my hair. “Hey, how do you feel?”
I shrugged. I still felt the same tough.
“Frank…” He sighed and continued stroking my hair. “Joanna asked me to go over to her house for the weekend, but I can’t leave you alone like this.”
“Yes you can Danny, she’s your sister and I’m going to be ok.” tears were in his eyes as he shook his head.
Looking at him like this made me want to cry, which I did. I tried to sit up, but now my bones were starting to hurt to. Danny placed his hand around my back and helped me sit up a little, my face inches apart from his.
“Frankie, I know what you do … I didn’t want to believe it so I figured you would stop, but you didn’t.” more tear came to his eyes and to mines too. Why did he care so much?
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brushed my lips against his. “I’m sorry Danny …”
He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “Frankie, I don’t want nothing to happen to you.” This time he kissed me and pressed his forehead against mine. “Promise you’ll stop doing it.”
“I promise.”
He ran is soft fingers through my hair, “You need to eat something Frank …”
“I know, I’m hungry …” He took me in his arms and helped me get up.
I expected him to let go of me, but he didn’t. his arm was still wrapped around my waist. I looked up and stared right into his eyes. “Why Frankie? Why did you do it?”
I looked away from him, but he made me look at him, “Because I’m fat…” it was barely audible.
“Frank, Your not fat you hardly way anything. Fuck when I hug you, I’m afraid that if I hug you hard enough, I might brake you.”
I chuckled, but only a little. I started to feel this sharp pain in my chest. “I promise to stop doing it if you take me to eat something right now.”
“Ok.” I saw happiness in the smile he flashed me.
I knew that if I spoke it was only going to make him cry more, so I just patted him on the back. Slowly he eventually stopped sobbing. When I looked down at him, he had fallen asleep. I reached over and placed a pillow under his head.
Before leaving the room, I grabbed Taco of the floor, who had also fallen asleep and brought him downstairs. I was heading into the kitchen, but stopped and headed up to the restroom.
I took out the scale from under the sink and stepped on it. 135 dam! I’m over weight. I bent over the toiled and stuck my finger down my throat. I gagged a couple of times before, I threw up.
I heard Taco scratching outside the door. So I quickly put the scale away and washed my mouth. That horrible flavor you get when you throw up was stuck in my mouth and it wouldn’t go away.
**
Since me and Danny work together, we decided to drive together in his car, that way we save gas money and stuff like that. I work on the second floor and he works below me.
I was messing with some bottoms in the studio, when I started feeling dizzy. I was guessing it was from not eating and throwing up. I had been at if for about a month now, and I was at 125. I had lost ten pounds in one month.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I hated myself more and even more for doing this to myself.
I took a grip of the person standing next to me to keep my balance. Thankfully it was my assistant John. He wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me stand, “Frank, are you ok?” He sounded worried.
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.”
He pulled a chair for me, “Sit.”
“Thanks John, I’m going to be ok…” Boy was I lying.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I‘m sure,” I smiled even though I felt like shit.
“Alright,” He nodded, “you should go home and rest.”
“Yeah, think I might do that.” I think he was right, but I knew I didn’t need to rest, I need food … but I don’t want food, it’s bad for me.
I stopped thinking, ‘cause it was making me dizzy again. I used all the energy I had and grabbed some stuff to work on at home. I shoved everything into my bag and dialed Danny’s extension.
I explained to him that I wasn’t feeling well and that I was taking the bus home, since we shared a ride. “Nonsense, I’ll drive you home.”
“But that means u would have to leave work early.”
“If that’s what it takes to make sure that you get home safe then that’s what I’ll do. Wait for me at the front,” The line went dead after that. He didn’t even give me a chance to argue with him.
By the time I got downstairs, e was outside already. As soon as he saw me, he took my bag and flung it over his shoulder. “How do you feel?”
“Like throwing up …” I replied placing my hand over my tummy. I wasn’t lying. I do feel like throwing up, but not on purpose.
“Come on,” He took my hand in his and lead me to the car.
I must have fallen asleep on the way home cause I woke up in the living room couch, My head over Danny’s lap. He was stroking my hair. “Hey, how do you feel?”
I shrugged. I still felt the same tough.
“Frank…” He sighed and continued stroking my hair. “Joanna asked me to go over to her house for the weekend, but I can’t leave you alone like this.”
“Yes you can Danny, she’s your sister and I’m going to be ok.” tears were in his eyes as he shook his head.
Looking at him like this made me want to cry, which I did. I tried to sit up, but now my bones were starting to hurt to. Danny placed his hand around my back and helped me sit up a little, my face inches apart from his.
“Frankie, I know what you do … I didn’t want to believe it so I figured you would stop, but you didn’t.” more tear came to his eyes and to mines too. Why did he care so much?
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brushed my lips against his. “I’m sorry Danny …”
He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “Frankie, I don’t want nothing to happen to you.” This time he kissed me and pressed his forehead against mine. “Promise you’ll stop doing it.”
“I promise.”
He ran is soft fingers through my hair, “You need to eat something Frank …”
“I know, I’m hungry …” He took me in his arms and helped me get up.
I expected him to let go of me, but he didn’t. his arm was still wrapped around my waist. I looked up and stared right into his eyes. “Why Frankie? Why did you do it?”
I looked away from him, but he made me look at him, “Because I’m fat…” it was barely audible.
“Frank, Your not fat you hardly way anything. Fuck when I hug you, I’m afraid that if I hug you hard enough, I might brake you.”
I chuckled, but only a little. I started to feel this sharp pain in my chest. “I promise to stop doing it if you take me to eat something right now.”
“Ok.” I saw happiness in the smile he flashed me.