Black Star Love

For the first time in weeks I felt happy. I was back with Mickey. And he did love me. This whole time he was just trying to protect me.

The next morning I woke up to hear Mickey humming a song. I didn’t recognize it, but he sounded like an angel. “Morning.” He said with a wide grin.

“Good Morning.” I stood up from the couch and watched as he walked across the room. He announced that he was going to go take a shower.

“Ok.” I replied.

I got up and went into his room and grabbed one of his shirts and clean jeans to wear. I smelled his scent from his cloths and sighed to myself.

I had been so happy the past few hours, I had totally forgotten about Danny. If Mickey was right and he liked me, I was going to hurt him, because I don’t like him back.

What if Many gets mad at me for rejecting his son, and he leaves my mom? Oh my god! How could I have been so stupid to get myself wrapped up in all of this … wait, Many would never do that, would he?

I have to talk to Danny.

When I walked back into the living room to put on my shoes, Gerard was standing there. His raised an eyebrow, “Frank, What are you doing here?”

“I slept over.” I felt weird to tell him that me and Mickey still liked each other because Mickey told him that he loved Dave. Gerard probably thinks that Mickey and I are crazy.

“Right, well I just came over to see how Mickey was doing. “ I could tell that he wasn’t so sure about me just staying over.

“Well he’s in the shower.” For some reason I felt awkward being in the same room alone with my best friend.

I sat on the couch and Gerard sat next to me. He looked nervous. Fuck I was nervous too. I wanted him to know that Mickey wasn’t crazy, that he only said all those things because he was being raped, drugged and used.

I believe every word Mickey told me about what had happened to him and so should Gerard.

He leaned forward and looked at the wall in front of him. “Frank, how come you never told me?”

“Tell you what?” I sounded stupid asking that question, but I didn’t know what he was talking about.

“About you and Dave … is that why you never wanted to go to the cemetery with us? Huh?-”

I shook my head and placed my hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t turn to look at me, “It’s hard to explain Gee.” I paused to think of what to say next. “I refused to go because I knew that Dave wasn’t a suicide. We were happy Gee and it was because of me that his brother-”

Gerard turned around to face me and pulled away from me. His eyes grew wide, “That’s why he was beating the living crap out of you at the cemetery.”

I sighed and turned way from him, “He blamed me for killing his brother, but it wasn’t like that,” I began to sob, “Lucas liked me and he wanted to get rid of his brother, so he let Dave kill himself. He drove him so crazy he had to do it…”

I berried my face into my curled up legs. “What does all of this have to do with Mickey?” he asked in a whisper.

“When…” I breathed deeply, “When I was with Dave, he …” I couldn’t say it. I just wished that we could leave all this in the past.

“Gee… what are you doing here?” Mickey had come out of the shower. He was changed and in the living room.

Gerard didn’t answer him, so he walked over and wrapped his arms around me.

Gee got up and started to pace around the room. “What the fuck is this huh? …” he through his arms in the air. “First you brake up with him,” he was looking at me, “ then you say your in love with someone dead,” he looked over at Mickey, “What the hell is going on?”

“You want to know the truth Gee?!” I shouted. I felt bad for shouting though. It wasn’t his fault that we hadn’t told him the truth.

I looked over at Mickey. I wasn’t about to tell his brother the truth without his consent. I waited and just like if he had read my mind, Mickey nodded in approval.

I calmed down and spoke. “Gee, the only reason I broke up with Mickey was because he was doing drugs and hitting me. Fuck I even found out there was someone else.” Gee turned to look at Mickey disgusted. “But guess what. I was wrong. Mickey he never meant to do the things he did.”

“You don’t know that … why do you keep defending him?”

“Because Gee, did you ever sit down and talk to him? No you didn’t and neither did I.” I made him look at me. “Gee, Mickey was rapped and drugged. He felt so ashamed he took it out on me. George didn’t stop there. He kept doing it again and again-”

“Who’s George?”

“The guy I thought Mickey was cheating on me with, but it wasn’t like that-” I stopped talking when I felt Mickey’s hand on my shoulder.

“Gee, I didn’t meant to hurt your best friend or my boyfriend,” Mickey wrapped his arms around me, “I had to lie to him so that George wouldn’t hurt him … I had to lie to you too.”

“Why?!” Gerard sounded so pissed of at Mickey.

“How would you feel if you were rapped and you had to tell me Gee? I felt that if I told you, you wouldn’t want to be my brother anymore.” Gee shook his head and wrapped his arms around Mickey.

“How could you think that Mickey … You know I love you.”

I expected Gee to get mad at Mickey for lying to him, but he didn’t. he was being understanding.

I walked off to Mickey’s room, to let them talk. Sure me and Mickey also need to talk, but this is more important.

**

I had fallen sleep in Mickey’s room, when Gerard woke me up. “Frankie, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” I replied rubbing my eyes.

All of a sudden he threw his arms around me, “Thanks Frank.”

“For what?”

“For forgiving Mickey and getting back with him.”

“Ummm, ok, but Gee, you’ve got to know, I didn’t get back with Mickey because I felt sorry. I got back with him, because I really do love him…”

“Yeah, I know…”

We went back into the living room, to be meet by Mickey … well at least me. Gee said he had to go, but that he was going to call later on.

As soon as Gee walked out off the front door, Mickey wrapped his around my waist from behind me and kissed me on the neck. “Frankie…”

“Yeah .”

“Are you going to keep living with Danny?”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to live with me again… ever since you left, I feel lonely.” He turned me around in his arms, “Knowing that you live with someone that also likes you, doesn’t make me feel that good.” he pouted his lips and I giggled.

“Of course I want to come live with you gain, “ I kissed him, “and even if I lived with Danny, you know I would never do anything to hurt you…”

“I know.” he stroked my hair before kissing me one last time.

I told him that I had to go talk to Danny and that I would be right back. He asked if he should come, but I told him that it would be better of if I went by myself.

So far the day started out bad but it got better. Hope fully it doesn’t get bad with Danny.