Black Star Love

Me and Mikey had been talking about our relationship and thought that it was better if no one knew but us. Yeah it didn't feel right not telling the guys, but what if they stopped talking to us for being the way we are. We don’t want that.

By the way Gee talks to me about his brother, it looks like he might be OK with it, but what if he’s not? I don’t want to ruin our friendship.

The only time that I got to spend with Mikey was when Gerard wasn’t around, and it was just my luck. He wasn’t home and Mikey’s parent’s thought we were up here doing stuff we always do, but we weren’t. In fact, I was straddling Mikey on his bed planting kisses down his neck.

“Frank…” He moaned.

“Uhu,” I asked as I continued with my actions.

“I think…” something in his voice stopped me, “I think were getting a little carried away.”

I looked down at his beautiful eyes, “Yeah I think your right.” I laid down next to him staring at the ceiling.

“Frank you know what tomorrow is?” I thought about his question, but not hard enough. “No.”

He sat up on the bed. “Tomorrow is two years since Dave got buried.” Shit! I had forgotten about my encounter with Dave in the morning.

“Are you going to come with us this year?”

“If your ok with it.”

“Of course.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me, but pulled away as we heard Gerard call from far away.

Gee came in without even knocking. “What are you guys doing?” He took a seat on Mikey’s computer chair.

“Umm, we were talking about tomorrow and about going to the cemetery.” Mickey glanced at me.

“Oh yeah,” Gee started turning around in circles on the chair. “Last year was weird.”

“It was?”

“Yeah, you remember Lucas?” Lucas was Dave’s older brother. He was around Gees age. We were all close friends; Bob, Ray, Mikey, Gee, him and me, but after the death, we kind of lost touch with him. “Yeah, what about him?”

“He asked about you last year.” Gee fell to the floor.

“When we told him that we didn’t know why you didn’t go, he muttered to himself, ‘I know why he didn’t come and it better stay that way.’” Mikey deepened his voice.

Gee got up off the floor and sat on the bed with us. “Why didn’t you go with us last year? You two were really close friends.”

“Oh, I, well I didn’t feel like going,” I knew he didn’t by it, but he didn’t question me. Sometimes I feel like if he knew about me and Dave, “But don’t worry, I’m going tomorrow.

**

I got up extra early today and went to Mikey’s house. Bob was going to drive us to the cemetery, but since it was a two hour drive and we wanted to be back early for tomorrow, ‘cause we had school.

Bob was going to go pick Ray up first, and then he was going to come to pick all three of us here.

Ray was in the front with Bob, so Gerard sat behind Bob, Mikey behind Ray, leaving me in the middle between the two brothers.

Gee was telling me about this band he had heard of, Rise Against when I heard something being banged against the window. It was Mikey’s. he was banging his head against the window.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I couldn‘t so I asked, “What’s wrong Mikey? You look sad?” he stopped banging his head against the window and turned to look at me. His eyes were weary.

Before he could speak, Gee spoke up. “I think Mikey misses Elizabeth.”

“Oh, yeah Gee, I miss her so much.” He spoke sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“Ok, then what’s wrong?” Ray asked from the front.

“Nothing.” Mikey replied and turned to look down at his lap. Something was wrong. Yesterday he looked so happy. And today he looks warn out… does it bother him that I’m coming with them?

Half an hour had gone by. Gee had fallen asleep, his head was on my shoulder. Ray was asleep too. The only ones awake were me and Mikey and Bob.

I couldn’t ask Mikey out loud if he was mad at me so I dug my hand into my pocket and took out my cell phone.

I went to new text message. Then I went to contacts, Mikey, and inputted, What’s wrong Mikey? Did I do something wrong Then I pressed send.

Thirty seconds went by, before I felt his phone vibrate besides me.

He pulled it out and I watched as he read the message.

He glanced at me before typing something in… which I felt lie it was taking an eternity

I received his message. No Frank You didn’t do nothing wrong… I just got thinking yesterday about what Gee said about Lucas and I was wondering if it ever crossed your mind that he knew about you and Dave… and I hate the fact that I cant hug you like Gee is hugging you… I really like you Frank.

That made me think about Gee. He now had moved his hand and wrapped it around me. I smiled at the thought of how Gee sleeps when he’s by himself.

I was getting lost in my thought when I received another message, I mean it when I say it Frank… and if your thinking about me being sad cuse you were with Dave, I don‘t care. You trusted me by telling me how you felt about him and that‘s what I care about.

I replied back in less than a minute, MICKEY, I LOVE YOU!!! I hadn’t said that to anyone besides Dave and I really meant it.

I saw him read the message, but he didn’t reply back. He just looked up at Bob.

He was breaking my heart. I knew I shouldn’t of said that to him. How could he love me back.

Bob was looking out his window at the plains.

Tears were coming to my eyes.

“Do you guys mind if I put on some music?” Bob asked. I shook my head and Mikey replied “No.”

Bob was busy looking for a CD on his lap, when Mikey turned to me and whispered, “I love you to Frank...”

He pressed his lips against mine causing me head to jerk back, crashing into Gee’s.

“Owww,” Gee massaged his head with his eyes still closed.

Mikey pulled away and looked out the window like if nothing had happened.

“What the hell was that?” Gee didn’t sound mad, but I guess his head did hurt, ‘cause, mine was hurting.

“My bad.”

“My bad.” Gee mocked me.

Mikey couldn’t help but to giggle to himself.