Forgive Me

“Look at this,” Mandy threw her phone into my lap, “He texted me saying that ‘I’m a nice girl, but he doesn’t think we should be anymore than friends’. Can you believe that?”

I brushed my bangs back, shaking my head, “Guys can be harsh, no doubt.”

She groaned, tying up her dark red hair and pulled her knees up to her chest, “Why can’t I find a great guy?”

“You’re not looking in the right spot, I guess,” I turned around, having been in the kitchen and checked on Adam’s food.

“It’s a shame that all guys can’t be like Alex.”

I smiled a little, knowing that she wished she could be me. No one used to think like that because they never knew me. Back before Alex had gotten famous, no one envied me.

Mandy walked around the table, pulling open the fridge. If we were still in high school and in the same district, she was probably would’ve been my only other friend, besides the boys. She got where I was coming from because her dad had been the exact same way my mom was, growing up.

She went through far worse because her dad used to beat her, when he was high, though. He used to think that Mandy was her mom, and it was just a really messed up situation—more messed up than mine.

“So, I was checking out some of the music forums,” Mandy pulled open her laptop, loving the fact that my build had free wi-fi, “There’s a ton of pictures of Alex and the boys on the web, now days.”

“Of course there’s going to be, Mands. They’re big, remember?” I smiled, leaning over her shoulder as she clicked on a few.

Alex had his arm around the girls’ shoulders, smiling at the camera for them. It was just a typical friendly gesture because I knew that Alex would never turn them down a quick photo.

“You’re not nervous that he’ll sleep with one of them?”

“No, Mandy,” I glowered slightly, “I trust him.”

It was true. I trusted Alex more than anything or anyone.

Alex groaned, “I’m not going to do anything, babe.”

“I tried to tell her that,” I picked at my nails, holding the phone up to my ear, “She’s had so many freaking bad relationships, so it makes her think that all guys will cheat on girls.”

Talking on the phone with Alex was a bit of a relief. He usually called before they were about to perform and after the school, when they got on the bus. He made time for me, and I guess that’s what Mandy wasn’t picking up on.

“I’ll call in an hour, baby,” Alex’s voice hinted at a smile, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I smiled, hanging up.

I turned, walking into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. Adam turned, smiling at me as the movie began. It wasn’t a regular movie night, now days, but I loved it nonetheless; it was a switch up.

“I’ll be right back, bud,” I handed him the bowl, remembering what I had asked Mandy to bring over with her, this morning.

I headed upstairs and into the bathroom. I pulled the box out of the bag, sighing quietly.

After I had told Mandy what was going on, she rushed right over with the pregnancy test, telling me that her sister went through the same thing; before she found out she was pregnant. I honestly didn’t want to be pregnant.

I was just started to get my life in order. College was enough to handle, without having a kid other than Adam to take care of. Alex wasn’t home most of the time, either, so it’d be hard.

I sat the test down on the sink, after using it. Ten minutes didn’t seem too long because by the time I was falling asleep from boredom, it was done.

“Oh crap,” I groaned, “I can’t be.”