Forgive Me

I pressed my hand against my face, watching Aiden squirm around on his blanket. Adeline was asleep in her crib, having given me a less hard time than her brother. They both had been this way since we brought them home a week and a half ago.

Don’t get me wrong; they were both unusually quiet for nearly two week old babies. However, I figured that Aiden just loved to fuss at night. Adeline slept like a rock, just like her father.

“How’re you holding up?” Alex came up behind me, kneeling down.

“Better than I thought I would,” I admitted, picking Aiden up. I held him against my chest in an arm cradle, smiling down at him.

During the whole time the twins were home, Alex had been more than helpful, though it wasn’t needed. I loved that he was, but I still didn’t trust him like I used to; it was hard to even try. He did apologize, but there was that part of me that felt like Alex had a different motive, rather than being afraid.

I set Aiden in his crib, after kissing his forehead. I turned, walking behind Alex into the living room. I had given up my room to turn it into the nursery. Over the course of last month, Adam and Mandy had helped decorate and baby proof the entire room. Shortly after that, I all together just stopped communicating with Mandy.

Truthfully, I didn’t stop talking to her because of the whole Alex thing, but because she just carried on so much drama. She was constantly complaining and would take her man-built anger out on me. Thought I probably took my own hormone-built anger out on her, I always apologized afterwards.

I sat down on the couch, wincing from my stitches. The doctors had told me that I needed to take it easy, cut back on work and school and just relax. That’s probably where they figured Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian would come in.

“You okay?” Alex sat next to me, turning his torso towards me.

I nodded, sighing, “Thanks for helping with the babies.”

“Why wouldn’t I? They’re mine too, Hails.”

“I know, I know; it’s just, I don’t get it. You’ve been free for awhile with nothing to tie you down to one person. Why didn’t you just move on?” I clasped my hands together, glancing at him for a bit.

“Why didn’t you, if you were so concerned that I might move on? I wasn’t planning to move on, ever; even if you went through five marriages. I love you way too much, Hailee.”

I looked down, sighing, “I kept telling myself that you really didn’t cheat and that you’d come back.”

Alex watched me, gnawing on his bottom lip, “I’m so sorry, Hails.”

For the better part of an hour, we talked about nearly everything that didn’t truly matter because I was trying to avoid one subject. I wished we could’ve avoided it, but that was the first to last subject he brought up. Basically, she came onto Alex and took advantage of him in his drunken state; the typical story from a cheater.

“Look, Alex, I loved you more than anything. You save me from a horrible situation, and I’m grateful. I’ll never stop loving you, but I just need time. I can’t just up and full out trust you again.”

Alex nodded, smiling a little, “It makes sense. I’ll just let fate work itself out, but I’ll still help with our kids.”

I smiled, leaning over and hugged him, “That means a lot to me.”

“Sh, mommy’s here,” I cooed, holding Adeline against me.

If you would have told me two weeks ago that Adeline would end up fussier than Aiden, I probably would’ve laughed. Those days were a breeze with each baby, although my doctors, nurses and friends all told me otherwise. With Alex and the guys helping when they could, it made everything much simpler. Even Adam pitched in to help as well. It just sucked that Alex, Jack, Rian and Zack were leaving for tour shortly.

I expected to raise the kids on my own ninety-five percent of the time, but I didn’t want to do it so soon. It just seemed like the twins were better off being in the presence of the guys.

“Hailee, we’re getting ready to head out,” Rian walked into the nursery, beaming at Adeline.

“I hope you guys have fun, just not too much.”

“Oh, we’ll try to contain ourselves,” he chuckled, holding out a piece of paper—a receipt, “That’s for you.”

“What’d you buy me? I don’t need anything else for the twins; you guys already gave me too much.”

“Don’t fret it, Hails. It’s a paper-view from Alex and us for tonight. All you have to do it turn on your talking picture box and the picture on the screen will move,” he mimicked a southern accent, trying not to laugh.

“Oh gosh dang, pa. I sure can’t wait, but isn’t magic the devil’s work like ma said?” I followed in suit of his accent, rolling my eyes, “Don’t make fun of me for not watching television the last couple of days. What is it?”

“Alex told me not to say, so I can’t,” Rian kissed Adeline’s forehead, ruffling up my hair, “Just watch that tonight, and I’m sure it’ll make sense,” he winked at me, departing the apartment with the others, who had already said their byes.

Once Adeline had finished fussing, I gave her and Aiden a warm bottle of milk to help them get to sleep, which worked rather quickly. I had gotten Adam his dinner, ate with him and helped him with some homework. Soon enough, I was sprawled out on the couch, my face in the cushions, while I waited for the guys’ surprise.

“So, most of you know I’ve been in a relationship for a good couple of years,” Alex’s voice filled the living room, forcing me to sit up, “but what you don’t know is that she just gave birth to two beautiful babies: Adeline Rae and Aiden Joel.”

I stared at the screen, as Jack walked up to the microphone, laughing lightly into it. What the hell was this about?

“They’re awesome kids,” Jack breathed, “They both look just like their daddy.”

Alex laughed, strumming a few chords as the fans yelled ‘aw’, “I guess, but anyways, I’m itching to play you guys and my family a song.”

I watched as they all got situated, and Alex took center stage. I hadn’t expected to watch their HBO edition show, to be honest, but it was a sweet gesture. I listen as the music kicked up and as Alex stepped up to the microphone.

“Hey there it's good to see you again; it never felt right calling this ‘just friends’. I'm happy, if you're happy, with yourself,” Alex sang, smiling a little as the crowd screamed his words.

I pulled my knees to my chest, watching the last of their special. Bewildered was an understatement to call me at the moment.

“Now, I have just one more surprise,” Alex handed his guitar to Danny, smiling, “Can we get her on there, Evan?”

The boys’ crew moved around behind Alex, Jack, Rian and Zack, doing whatever the boys asked.

I creased my brow, reaching over as my cell phone went off, “Hello?” I heard my voice echo off of the television, indicating that one of the crew boys called.

“We’re gonna link you up to Alex, Hailee,” Evan said, though his voice didn’t echo, “but the crowd will still be able to hear you for a bit.”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me and leaned closer to the television, watching Alex. I was overly curious as to what he was planning, but couldn’t help but feel a little relieved to get to hear his voice.

“Hailee,” Alex sighed as the backdrop on the stage showed a picture of Adeline, Aiden, me and the guys, “I love you more than anything in the world. I know I messed up, and the reason I’m asking you this is because I have a good feeling about it,” the camera zoomed in on him as he got down on one knee, the crowd going wild, “Hailee, will you marry me?”