Tour With Me

Natalie’s POV

Once Bryan and Summer arrived, they took me back to the hotel to get my things. They were constantly asking me why I wanted to leave, but I remained silent. I couldn’t explain things to them. I couldn’t explain my actions to anyone anymore. Nothing made since anymore.

I thought that leaving would make things better but instead it made them worse. Things became more confusing. I know longer knew if what I was doing was right.

I knew that leaving would hurt Justin, I knew that it would hurt him more than anything else that I had done. What I didn’t know, or expect, was for this to hurt me just as badly.

I wasn’t expecting for the pain that I was feeling earlier in the club to return to me. I wasn’t expecting for the pain in my chest to intensify. I wasn’t expecting to feel slightly depressed.

I wasn’t expecting any of this.

Yet, I continued with my decision, much to everyone’s dismay. Justin wasn’t the only one who was hurt by my decision. Sabrina and Thomas hated my leaving as well. Chaz and Ryan hated to see me leave, knowing what it was doing to Justin. They didn’t hate it as much as Justin, but they were extremely close to it.

Despite this I had to leave. Leaving was the only thing that I could do. Leaving was the only solution that I had. It was only fair.

Justin was hurt by this, there was no denying that, but I knew that he would only be hurt for a little while. Eventually we would both move on. He would realize that me leaving was in fact that right thing to do. Staying would have hurt us both more in the long run, he would realize that someday.

Hopefully, I’ll realize this too.

I didn’t know when and I didn’t know how, but I knew that I would. One day I would look back on this, and actually feel proud of my decision. The pain wouldn’t feel so bad. Everything wouldn’t feel as bad as if felt now. I would look back on today and feel as if I were overreacting.

But that day wasn’t today.

Until that day, I would have to find a way to keep myself together. I would have to find a way to stop thinking about the pain.

I slowly opened my eyes as the car came to a stop. I sat upright, so that my head was no longer pressed against the cool glass window. I looked around noticing that we were at a gas station. A few cars were pulled into the station as well. Kids were going inside either for snacks or to use the bathroom.

Bryan had been driving for about an hour now. It took a total of 4 hours for us to get back home. I knew that we would be on the road for a while.

I didn’t mind though. I had grown accustom to being on the road while I was on tour. Being in the car for a while no longer bothered me.

I was brought out of my trance as the sound of Bryan closing the door echoed in the silent car. I inwardly sighed as I leaned my head against the window once more.

“Sweetie?” Summer spoke.

I glanced over at her. She was looking at me through the rear view mirror. Her eyes were filled with nothing but concern.

She knew that something was wrong. She knew that there was something that I wasn’t telling her. Her motherly instincts didn’t have to be in tune to figure it out.

However, her motherly instincts were the tool that she was going to use to try and figure out what was wrong. I knew that she would figure it out eventually. She was a mother of two. Not to mention the fact that she was Maya’s mother, my over dramatic best friend. She knew how to figure out what was wrong. The good thing is, she could do it subtly.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to talk about it?” she questioned.

I shook my head no, in response. I didn’t want to lie to her, nor did I want to talk to her about my personal problems. I could talk to Summer about anything, but this was something that I would rather keep private.

“Well okay,” she spoke “I’m going inside to get a snack. I’ll just pick up a Milky Way or two for you, okay?”

I nodded my head, as the smallest of smiles formed on my lips. Summer smiled back at me before she stepped out of the car. My smile faded once she was gone.

I glanced down at the floor where my purse was placed. I don’t know what made me do it, or why I did it, but I reached into my purse for my phone. I set my purse back on the floor once I had found it. I turned my phone back on regretting it as soon as I did it.

I had ten missed calls, twenty text messages and five voicemails. All of them were from multiple people. The ones that stood out the most were the ones from Justin. I stared blankly at the screen, debating on what to do.

I decided to scroll through the texts that I had received. The first one was from Justin.

From: Justin
Ally please don’t do this to me. I can’t take this Natalie. I’ll do anything to have you back. Please just tell me what’s wrong. I need you Natalie. I can’t lose you, I won’t lose you. Please just come back. I’ll do anything. I don’t care if I have to remind you of how much you’re not hurting me every day, I’ll do it. Please Natalie, just come back.
I love you,

That was the final straw. That message was as far as I could get. I had a breakdown then and there. I did something that I hardly ever did. I did something that I hadn’t done in months. I did something that I hadn’t done years before that.

I cried.

Tears began to flow down my cheeks rapidly. My breathing grew ragged, my phone slipping from my hands and onto the floor. I buried my face into my hands as I continued to sob. It was as if my world was beginning to cave around me.

Justin was in pain, and it was my entire fault. I had done the worst thing that I could possibly ever do.

I hurt the person that I was in love with.