Tonight, I Fly

I get to Mikey’s house, present secured in my hand and wrapped tightly. I ring the doorbell until I hear footsteps running at the door. It flies open to reveal my boyfriend in all his glory.

“Sheesh, alright already,” he grumbles, not noticing me.

“That’s not a nice way to answer the door, babe.” I fake scold him.

He smiles and jumps at me, “Paul!”

I laugh as he drags me inside, telling me where I should put his present. Then drags me to the family room where everyone is at. I say hi to his parents and his sister, and then sit on the couch next to him. All of our friends here, which I’m happy about. It’s harder to be relaxed and be myself when it’s just us and his parents. I catch them staring at us sometimes and it really creeps me out. Thankfully there are about fifteen teenagers in here, so they have more to worry about than just me.

Katie, a friend of ours, comes and talks to me. We talk about what we got for Mikey, quietly of course. She got him a skateboard. I got him something like a rosary, except there isn’t a cross at the bottom. The necklace is attached by two guns pointing outwards and in the middle, there’s a small heart cut into the metal. At the bottom of the part that hangs off that is a bigger heart. I saw him looking at it while we were shopping one day. I guess we were talking longer that I thought because I saw his parents getting up to leave.

“We have a business trip to go on, so behave everyone.” They grabbed their bags and out the door they went.

All of us were quiet for 5 minutes, until we heard the car start and drive off. Then we were all over the place, moving furniture out of the way, to make a dance floor, grabbing all the pop and junk food in the house, and blasting music so loud China could hear it. I ran to Mikey and pulled him to where we made room to dance. My hands landed on his hips and traveled to his back pockets so I could bring his body closer to mine. He blushed and looked down while he put his arms around my neck. We danced like crazy with the beat. A few more songs play before a slow song starts to play. Everyone stops to grab someone to dance with. I just smile down at Mikey and pull him closeras if there was any room left. His arms wrap tighter around my neck and he rests his head against my shoulder.

“I love you, baby,” I say as I press my chin into his hair.

He pulls away and looks at me and his eyes are twinkling. He smiles, “really?”

I bring my hand up to caress his cheek and smile, “mhmm.”

He sighs as I bring my forehead to rest gently against his. I wrap my hands around his and sing to him. Everyone has stopped dancing to watch us, but we’re in our own world. No one else matters to us right now. His head slips a little and he closes his eyes, a small smile playing around the edges of his lips. I kiss the bridge of his nose and continue singing. We slowly stop swaying as the song ends.

“Awweee,” everyone choruses.

He pouts and turns his head while I laugh, “damn straight!”

We all laugh and decide that Mikey needs to open his presents. He runs over to the table, a childish grin plastered onto his face. He rips through the wrapping of one present after the other, thanking everyone for what they got him. The last present is mine, and I’m nervous as hell as he grabs it and shakes it. He gets the ribbon off the box and opens it. He takes it out and holds with both hands. He smiles up at me and mouths thank you. I nod, your welcome.

Half an hour later and everyone is gone. Mikey is on my lap, sitting on the couch, as we watch TV. He leans into my chest and starts playing with my fingers which are linked together, my arms around his waist. I press a kiss to his neck and lock my fingers with his. We watch a couple of shows before I glance at the clock.

“It’s almost 9,” I whisper. I can feel him shiver in my arms as my breath hits the back of his neck. “I should go.”

He grumbles and turns to me with a pout, “Really?”

I laugh, “Yes really.” He gets off my lap so I could stand up and walks me to the door. “I love you, Mikey.”

He kisses me and says, “I love you too, Paul.”

Two days later

I step into my house and I see my brother in the living room. “Have you heard from Mikey or his mom? He wasn’t in school today.”

He points to the stairs, “He came over a little earlier. He said he was going to wait for you in your room.”

I’m confused but nod my head and make my way upstairs. I get into my room and I notice something on my pillow, but he’s nowhere to be found. I walk over, pick up the paper and unfold it, only to have every fiber of my being shatter:

We’re over.
My heart doesn’t yearn for you, it never did.
I would write I’m sorry, if I was.
But I’m not…
Goodbye, Paul.

The paper drops from my hand and I run downstairs, “He didn’t leave?”

My brother looks up at me, “No but-“

I shake my head and run back up the stairs. That’s when I hear it, the moaning. I step closer to my sister’s room, shaking my head. I don’t want to believe what I’m hearing but the familiar voice proves my theory correct. I stand, frozen in front of my sister’s door for what seems like an eternity. I stop breathing all together when I see the doorknob turning and, before I know it, myex boyfriend is in front of me. I’m taking in shaky breaths while he looks at me blankly. He steps around me and makes his way down the hall.

I scream at him, “Why?! How?! What did I do wrong, Mikey?!”

He scoffs and shakes his head at me. “Can you not read Paul? I told you, I never loved you. I’ve been with your sister for a few months now. I never had the heart,” he rolls his eyes, “to break up with you. Ever since we met you’ve been saying how ‘love is a joke. It’s just something people do to make themselves feel wanted, when at any second it could be all over, and they’d be crushed. It’s not for me; another person isn’t worth feeling like shit.’ I proved you wrong Paul, you could love. That’s all I wanted to do. I couldn’t take you being all over me anymore though. You’re sisters much better at everything you try to do anyways.” He winks atmy sister and walks downstairs. I turn back to her and she shrugs. She closes the door and it’s silent.

I get to my room and I can’t breathe, I’m alone. I do not want to break down, but it’s hard not to when everything you thought you knew, was wrong, and your entire world comes crashing down on you without mercy. The boy that I love and I thought loved me has been with my sister for who knows how long. That though makes me choke, trying to hold back my cries. I sit on my bed and try not to think, I try not to think for hours, but my mind wants to work and finally an idea flashes through. The only question is, could I? I climb out of my window and grip onto the roof to pull myself up.

The wind blows through my hair fiercely from up here. My mind starts to wander and I think, even though I don’t want to:

Kiss me, Paul
He doesn’t want it...

Hold me, Paul
He never wanted it…

I love you, Paul
But he doesn’t...

“Know this, Mikey,” I yell to the wind, “know that never again, will I know you that way.”

I get to edge of the roof, knowing that I’m alone in here. I’m alone in my mind and my life. I’m alone tonight. I close my eyes…

…and I fly.