Growing Up Might Bring Us Down

After my flight back home I boarded the Binghamton School Shuttle from JFK airport. I took a seat in the middle of the shuttle, next to the window, watching all the people go by. There were families, a mother pushing the stroller and the father mindlessly walking by her side, couples walking by and holding hands while dragging their luggage behind them, and there were also single young adults, like myself, meandering around. I can’t help but think that each person that has just passed through my line of vision has a story, a tale, of success, failure, love, and heartbreak, and also how privileged their life can or cannot be. It all fascinates me that there are people out there who are strangely like myself.

“Hey!” I heard a familiar voice call to me.

I turned my head from its position of gazing out of the window, to see my roommate Vanessa coming to sit down next to me.

“Where were you?” I asked her in wonderment. Seeing Vanessa in an airport was not a likely occurrence. Ever.

She shrugged like it was no big deal, “Flew home for the weekend.”

“Flew?” I questioned. Since the first day I met her, Vanessa was against flying all the way down to Virginia since it was only a few hours away by car. She wasn’t afraid of heights, or flying for that matter, she just opted for the long car rides instead of paying all that money to go a “short” distance.

“I wasn’t wasting eight hours driving there and back.” She informed me with a little sass in her tone.

I decided to just agree with her form of strange logic, shaking my head with a forced smirk, “Of course, Nessa.”

“What’s with you, you look down?” she took notice to my hostile state. “Is John touring all summer?” she jumped to the most probable conclusion she could think of.

I shrugged and looked back out the window, away from her, hoping that the tears wouldn’t start falling. Why’d she have to bring him up? “Don’t know.”

“There’s something wrong, Nat.” she stated, well knowingly. “You know you can tell me.” she placed her hand on my shoulder, comforting me.

“When we get back home.” I choked out, holding back tears.

Home my dorm was now my home. I will never go back to my mother, nor am I really willing to go back to Tempe; it would just be too awkward.
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Both Vanessa and I made it to our room and threw our bags on our beds. Slamming the door behind her, Vanessa said, “Now spill.” Her hand was on her hip and she was giving me the you promised so spit it out now look. “What happened while you were down there?” She started to push when I wouldn’t say anything. “You usually come back happy, and now, you’re… not.”

“I caught John hooking up with someone.” I stated lowly and simply as I unpacked my duffle bag.

“I hope you mean he was drunk and hooking up with a guy.” I looked out of the corner of my eye to see that she was standing in her same position with an unamused expression. “And by a guy I mean Halvo.” Vanessa was a fan of the AZ band scene, she knew all the guys and who I was before I needed to introduce myself.

I shook my head and continued to unpack. I don’t want to talk about the douche or what happened anymore.

Vanessa took an open seat on my bed, her demeanor weakening to that of a sweet, caring one. “When’d you find out?” she asked.

“The night I arrived.”

“What’d you do the rest of the days then?”

I sighed; she wasn’t going to drop the subject until she got a play-by-play. “Sulked, hung out with Gabi, tried to hook up with Connor…”

“Connor…Montgomery…?” she sounded a little confused and shocked.

“Yeah…” I confirmed. “I thought I could use him as my rebound guy, but I couldn’t.” I started to explain, “John was on the couch with her, and we were coming back from a wonderful date, and Connor kept coming in closer, and I couldn’t kiss him. I just couldn’t. I’ve only kissed one person and meant it.” I ranted, feeling tears start to form.

“Then what happened.” She pushed, knowing there was more.

“I ran to my room crying. Packed. Then left. John didn’t give two shits.” I moved my suitcase towards the wall and took the now open space next to Vanessa, I would not let myself shed another tear over him.

“So what now?” she asked after a couple silent moments.

“We broke up.”

“I figured.” She rolled her eyes. “I meant for the summer.” She clarified.

I sighed again, I really didn’t give this much thought, since that house was my summer home. “Don’t know.” I shrugged. “If Jess is home, then maybe I’ll go back down and hang with their crew, take care of my aunt and give the nurse a break for a while.” I started to plan. “But if not then I guess I have to go back to my mom’s.”

Vanessa smirked evilly, “Or you could stay with Bradley and me.”

I rolled my eyes in return, “Yeah, sure.”

She threw her hands in the air, “We don’t live together, just in the same apartment building.”

“Uhhuh, sure.”

Nessa threw her arm across my shoulders, giving me a sideways hug. “I’m sorry, Natalie.” She apologized.

I’m sick of all these apologizes. There’s nothing that their pity and sympathy can do, the only person who should really be apologizing is that jackass; but too bad I never want to deal with his again.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” she added in.

Damn straight he doesn’t deserve me.

But why does a part of me still want him?