Growing Up Might Bring Us Down

For lack of better things to do, I decided to tidy up my room so Jenny wouldn’t have to when she cleaned the house this week. I felt bad; I was a guest in her house and I was throwing my shit all over the place. I needed to get my act together, and cleaning helps clear my mind which is pretty much needed to calm me and my hormones down lately.

Suddenly my phone started vibrating violently on the nightstand table, signaling that I had a phone call coming through. I didn’t even get the chance to say hello when the person on the other end yelled, “Jeff has entered the coup!”

“Word, bro. Thanks, I’ll go call her now.” I replied as I took a seat on the edge of my bed and a smile creeping up onto my features. He always did this to me lately.

“You owe me for my excellent tracking skills,” he provocatively suggested; and I could just imagine him raising his eyebrows up and down creepily on the other end as he said that.

“Oh please, you just love keeping track of your boyfriend.” I retorted in a serious tone but a joking manner.

“What can I say, I just want to make sure he’s not cheating on me, ya know. I don’t want to get my heart broken!”

“Uh huh, sure,” I giggled a response. “Okay, I gotta go now. Talk to ya later.”

We blew fake kisses to one another and hung up. And then I proceeded to call Jess, just like I said I would.

“Yeah?” she answered. Typical Jess; just getting to the point and not cutting any corners with useless crap.

“Word on the street is that you’re finally home from tour.”

“That would be correct-a-mundo.” She joked, I could tell she was probably just settling in by the way she seemed to be a little distracted. “So what’s up?”

“The hot Arizona sun.”

“You’re here? Since when!” I felt like I stopped her in her tracks with that statement, like a deer in the headlights.

“A few days.” I replied nonchalantly.

“Bitch, get yo ass ova here!”

“Bitch, you’re gonna haveta pick me up. You have my car, remember?”

“Oh true. I’ll send Stephen over for you now ‘cause I gotta shower. I’m stinky.”

“Okay… I’ll be waiting.” I said back. “Oh, and thanks for sharing.”

“Wait,” She stopped abruptly, “Where are you?”

I hesitated before I answered her. I wasn’t sure about her reaction or whether or not she’d flip a shit on me or not, so I finally came around when I knew she was getting a little annoyed with the silence. “The O’Callaghan’s house.”

“You aren’t.”

“I am, but it’s not what you think it is,” I tried to quickly defend myself.

“Oh really? Then what is it?”

“I’ll tell you when I get there.”

“But, Natalie!” she whined.

“No. I’ll tell you all at Brian’s.”

“But –“

“No buts, Jess, Bye. See ya soon.”

“Fine. Bye.”

Right after I hung up with Jess, my phone started to ring again, this time from an unknown number with an unknown area code.

“Hello?” I answered wearily.

“Natalie?” That voice. That foreign and familiar voice. That voice that I haven’t heard in a while. That voice that’s attached to that face in which I rarely saw now and growing up.

My sound got caught in the throat as I choked out, “Mom?”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked her in utter confusion.

“Oh, nothing really.” She said happily before she added, “I’m just getting married.”

I was taken aback, “You’re what?”

“I’m getting married to Byron, we’re engaged.” She sounded genuinely happy, but it was this happiness which I heard and watched many times before when she was sure all those other guys were “the one”.

“Byron…?”

“Oh, I don’t believe that you’ve met him.” She realized that I had no clue as to who she was talking about. “But we’re getting married in Miami in three weeks.”

“Three weeks? When did you –“

“A few months ago.” She finished for me. “I’d really love for my baby girl to be there and give me away.”

“Why?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why do you want me there? I mean, you got engaged months ago and you’re just telling me now that you want me to be there. And I’m certain that I’m the only guest being invited last minute.”

“I’m sorry, hon, it must have just slipped my mind.” I imagined her standing in the middle of her glass and granite white kitchen in Miami, with the sun rays beaming in through the windows in her white sundress and hat as she got ready to go spend the day lounging about. She was talking to me on the household phone, examining her newly painted manicure and lifting up her hand to brush off my previous statement and to justify her latter one.

“The fact that you have a daughter slipped your mind?” I countered.

“No, no, no, it’s not that. It’s just - it was going to be just Byron’s parents, ourselves, and one of my friends. But then we decided that this is our first wedding and we want it to be special. So, please, Natalie, come. We’ll pay for everything; airfare, your dress, everything. And please bring your boyfriend, what’s his name? Justin…J-Josh…Joe…John. Please, I miss you.”

“I –“

“Please, baby?” she begged.

“Fine.” After all, she was my mother, and she did give me life. The least I could do was take a free trip to Miami in honor to support her and her newly found “happiness”. But it would have to come with a price on my end, whether it be who I bring our mother-daughter drama of my choosing. She wasn’t getting off the hook with her abandonment that easily.

“Alright, baby, I’ll send you the tickets in an email. Love you!”

“Mom,” I said lowly, making sure I sounded unsure so that I had her undivided attention.

She seemed a little scared and worried for the first time in my teenage years, “Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Click.
_________________________________________________________________________

“Fuck,” I breathed out with a sigh as I descended the staircase in order to wait for Stephen’s car to pull up.

“What happened now?” Ross asked concerned. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be home now since Jenny was out shopping with Shane, John IV was at work, and I suspected that Ross would be out with his girlfriend, but I guess I was wrong.

I took a deep breath, It’s better that it’s Ross than anyone else, I thought before I let all the air out and replied, “My mother called.”

He looked at me doubtingly, “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed with absolutely no enthusiasm, “She’s getting married and wants me to be there.”

“Oh.”

“And better yet, she wants me to bring my boyfriend, John along.” That statement alone pissed me off further. Out of all things in the world to remember about me and my new life, she chose to remember that I had a boyfriend, let alone it being him. Mother trucker.

“Ouch.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So what are you going to do?” he asked.

“No clue.” I replied honestly, “I have to be in Miami in like a few days.”

“That’s such short notice.” I could tell by his body language that he was just as unhappy with this situation as I was because, for one, it was very disrespectful to give your own flesh-and-blood this short of notice for your own wedding!

“I know.” I agreed stoically, deciding to add the little piece of vital information to the conversation, “I also told her I’m pregnant.”

He raised his eyebrows, and replied, “Better make up with John than.”

“Eh, I’m tempted to either bring you or Godsey.” I concluded, totally disregarding his command.

His bushy eyebrows were furrowed and his green eyes were boring into my face and he asked in a confused manner, “Why?”

“Makes a little more sense in my mind,” I shrugged, “You know I never want to see or speak to your brother again.”

“I know, but you’re going to have to at some point.”

“Let’s see how long I can go for,” I challenged him with a devious smirk.

All he did was roll his eyes, “Whatever you say, crazy.”

“I am not crazy. I’m pregnant.”

Luckily, and ironically, Stephen pulled up next to the curb and honked his horn. With a quick goodbye hug to Ross, I exited the O’Callaghan Casa and made my way into the Gomez Mobile.

“I’m not even going to ask why I’m picking you up here.” Were the first and harsh words out of Stephen Gomez’s mouth upon my entering the vehicle.

“You’ll find out sooner or later.” I said as I flashed a genuine smile his way after buckling up.

As he put the car in drive he asked questioningly, “Do I want to know?”

“I don’t know, do you?” I challenged. I didn’t know why he was being this unfriendly and pissed off with me, but two could play the bitch game.

He changed the topic of discussion, “Godsey said you’ve been down here for a while.”

“Just a few days.” I was gazing out the window, not wanting to talk much anymore. He was mad at me for some unknown reason, and I didn’t want this leading to the subject of myself and his best friend.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

I shrugged as I still gazed out the window and watched the buildings rush by as we drove, “You were on tour.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t call us and tell us there’s a crisis.” Stephen was hinting at something, and curiosity was getting the better of me. I needed to know what he knew.

“What crisis?” I decided to ask in an attempt to play dumb, my eyes still never leaving the glass.

“Bull.” He stated with venom. “Justin told me you’re pregnant.”

“That fucking prick.”

“I haven’t told anyone, FYI,” He informed me in a lower voice that normal, “That’s your job.”

“I was planning on doing that today, actually.”

“You better.”

“I know, Stephen, I know.” I finally looked at him. His deep brown-almost-black hair was all over the place, and yet in the same hairstyle that has worked for him for so many years. He was a little sun burnt from gallivanting the country without any sun block at times, and he was wearing his typical black classic Ray-Bans. He was wearing a white and blue striped tank with dark skinny jeans and man-flops. Typical Arizona band boy. Staring at him for the moment, I realized how much all of the boys look the same. The same hairstyle, the same tan lines, the same skinny jeans, and most of all the same heartfelt and caring nature. But with Death Cab playing in the background, I realized that they would and will always have music as their first love, their future, and their main priority.

My words were getting caught in my throat as I choked “It’s just – it’s hard.”

“It shouldn’t be.” He told me with a sincere tone and a small shake of his head. He placed his right hand on my thigh in a comforting manner. “We are going to support you the entire way; you’re a part of our family, Nat.”

I grabbed his soft but calloused hand between my own, rested my head against the headrest, closed my eyes and enjoy the rest of the ride with someone who cares about me right by my side, and let Death Cab for Cutie fill my ears.

The time for sleep is now
It’s nothing to cry about.