A New Kind of Denial

I was starting to get really annoyed with those two. I know I told Jason that I’d stop pressuring Mason into things and that I’d be more supportive of his attempts to be a ‘normal kid’ or whatever he was saying. But it’s a different thing when they’re together all the time. It seems like the only time they aren’t together is when Mason has to work or when Gavin does things with Jason and Ianto, because those are ‘family things’. I don’t have much time to spend with my brother these days and it’s really starting to piss me off.

So I decided it was about time to have a one-on-one session with Dr. Mendez. I scheduled it for a night that Mason was at work so I wouldn’t be missing any possibly time with him. When I talked to Jason on the phone about it, he seemed glad that I wanted to have this meeting with him. I don’t know what’s wrong with that man sometimes. He just doesn’t make sense to me; neither does Ianto really.

They were world famous rock-stars, amazing at what they did, but when their band broke up they just did the opposite of any other rock-star would do in that situation. They didn’t try to make or find a new band. No, they found normal, mundane, everyday jobs.

Jason’s a therapist that specializes in teenagers. He went from being a rock-star to helping troubled teens. And Ianto’s a freaking daycare worker! He works with little kids now after nine or ten years of hardcore rocking it out and doing whatever and whomever he so wished. Those two would definitely not be my first picks to work with any age range of kids all day, every day.

I mean, if I were them - with their talents - I’d try to join another band and stay with the rock-star way of life. It’s not even like the band ended badly or anything; they’ve said it themselves. The decision was mutual and no one had hard feelings about the split. Ash is the only one from Karma that is still in a band. Reese is still involved in music though, because he gives guitar and vocal lessons. And then Camron, Reese’s long-time partner, gives dance lessons and still models a bit. Although, he doesn’t exactly count at the moment because he was never actually in Karma.

And all of this just goes to show how much it seems like Jason come to us for therapy sometimes. After we’re done unloading our issues, or even sometimes while we are, he starts telling us all about his past and his “glory days” as Mason and I like to call them behind his back. For example, I’ve never met Ash, Reese, or Camron, but I feel as if I do because of how much he talks about them. That’s why I have a bit of a hard time hating Gavin. I feel like I know his dads and it’s difficult for me to not like them or their kid. But I don’t like him and it’s hard for me to even act like I do, so I guess I’m just royally screwed either way I look at it.

“So where’s your brother?” Jason asked right off the bat at the start of our session.

“Why does it matter, eh? This is supposed to be just you and me. That doesn’t include him,”

“Relax, Carson, I was only wondering. You two just don’t go many places without each other. Especially to see me,” he answered, putting his hands up in defense.

“And that’s pretty much why I wanted to see you today,”

“Why’s that?”

“I feel like I haven’t been able to spend much time with Mason lately. I think that’s why I’ve been worse with him about the relationship thing. I only see him when neither of us are working and when he’s not spending time with Gavin. And those two are constantly with each other. I don’t see my brother anymore and I miss him, but I’m afraid he doesn’t miss me. We don’t see each other at home because he’s almost always gone; we don’t see each other at work because we don’t ever work the same days; and when else would we be able to see each other? Basically never, unless you count our sessions, but we’re usually fighting during those, at least lately. I hate not seeing my brother. We lives on our own since we were fifteen and I’m so used to living with him. But within the last few weeks, it hasn’t felt the same at home because he hasn’t been there very much. I really just want my brother back,”

“Is that why you don’t like Gavin much? Because he’s stealing your brother from you?”

“Kind of, yeah,” I shrugged, looking down at my knee that that bouncing up and down. For some reason I tend to do that a lot of the time and I never really have figured out why I do it.

“Have you talked to him at all about it?”

“Who, Gavin?”

“No, Mason,”

“I haven’t had the chance!” I exclaimed, my face probably getting really red. “He doesn’t get home until ten almost every night and when I try to even have a civil conversation with him, he blows me off and makes up excuses so he won’t have to talk to me. And I know they’re excuses and not reasons, because he does something to contradict them almost every time.”

“What excuses does he make?”

“That he’s too tired to talk, but then he stays up half the night talking to Gavin or doing other things; that he’s too busy, but then he just sits around, watching TV or listening to music and ignoring me; and some time he just flat out ignores my existence and won’t answer me at all,”

“Well where is he now? He’s not with Gavin, because he and Ianto are doing something out on the town,” he explained, almost seeming like he knew more than he was letting on. He was looking awfully suspicious, and he wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding that. But it might just have been easier for me to call him on his bluff because I’ve known him so long. “So wouldn’t now be a good time to spend with Mason?”

“He’s at work; that’s why I scheduled this for today.” He sighed when I said ‘work’ and I knew it was because he was trying not to go off about that like he wanted to. But there was also a bit of something else in that sigh. I couldn’t place it though. “Look, I know you don’t like it, but it’s all we can find. Unless you find something else for us, then you’re just going to have to get over it. Because we’ve tried to find other work, but nobody want to hire two seventeen year old boys that live on their own, go to therapy, and who’s only previous place of employment is a strip club. That’s just not that kind of employee people want working for them.”

“Okay,” Jason sighed again, nodding his head. I think he once and for all understood where we’re coming from on this front. “Now, how about I talk to Mason about his ignoring you and see what he has to say about everything? Then we might just have to do what we did two weeks ago with the incest issue. Okay?”

“Okay; that sounds good Jason,” I smiled.

“That’s Doctor Mendez to you,” he said in a fake serious tone. I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s been a long time since I had a good laugh.